LIWeddings.com
Post New Topic

Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Original post by Snowflake08

Ok one of my so called best friends got married 2 years ago
I was in her wedding and helped her with EVERYTHING
i did her envelopes, had her shower at my apartment, planned the bachelorette party
got her e-ring at wholesale cost from my uncle and wedding bands and a lot of other stuff too

FH and i helped her move upstate when she and her husband bought their house

i sent her a text because i got a xmas card from her but no RSVP
she JUST sent me an email saying that she is NOT COMING to my wedding and her excuse is SO LAME

Her husband (who WAS my friend too) goes every January to a differen steak house in the US with his closest friends
so she emailed me that she didnt realize when he booked his annual trip that he wasnt getting back until Feb 3
MEANWHILE, i invited her mother and step father too so if she WANTED to be there and not drive alone, she COULD come with them!!!

what would you do or say to her if you were me??

FH is at work, i called him crying, he feels so bad but keeps telling me not to let it bother me
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

WOW i would be just as mad if i were you...honestly i would probably say what you said here, about everything you've done for her even having her shower at your house, planning her bachelorette, helping her getting their rings. And not even like you're asking her to do any of this for you in return but simply JUST to attend, and how hurt you are that she would even be ok with missing your wedding, especially for some steak house trip
Munchkn16 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I would be furious if I were you.

Weddings do strange things to people. But they let you know who your real friends are.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

Posted by Bride 2 Be

Posted by Snowflake08

ok i emailed her again
i am furious!!!!

i wrote 'wow, i know we havent seen each other in a while but this was a total shock. i am beyond disappointed after all the things i helped you with for your day for you not to come'


Good reply!! thats perfectly said! let us know what happens!
thanks kristen
i feel like an idiot
i should not be crying over this


you shouldn't feel like an idiot, its her who should feel like that
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

thanks denise

she just called my cell but i didnt answer; just dont feel like speaking to her right now; or ever

she left a message saying that she is sorry and she got confused with the dates and she doesnt know if she can make the trip alone since she'll be 7 months pregnant by the time of the wedding and that if her mom was going it wouldnt be an issue

then she said she wanted to talk to me instead of email and texts and that she called me so now 'its on me'
is that supposed to make ME feel guilty???

Im very angry and dont want to hear anymore excuses from her

in regards to someone asking if she was upset that she wasnt a BM - im not having ANY but my sister as matron of honor so its not like i was having 10 girls and didnt ask her

am i wrong to not want to speak to her??
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

no you're not wrong, you're very upset right now so its understandable. Maybe calm down first and if anything call her back later and just be upfront with her.

does it seem to you like she made an effort to try and find a way to go or think of something that she can do to make it? Does she live that far that she can't travel alone? i'll have to check the thread if you answered this already

Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

ok you said she moved upstate. Well since you invited her with her husband and expected her to come with someone, can't she just ask somebody to go with her.

And don't let her make you feel guilty, her excuse was that when her husband booked a trip that she didnt realize he wasn't coming back until the 3rd, first of all she should've been on top of that and even before he booked(since its around your wedding) to make sure to say to him uhmmmm be careful what days we book, we do have lauras wedding...and honestly if he booked it and is coming back right after the wedding i would've personally told him to change it, even if he had to get back the day before early in the morning and go straight to the wedding. She is a close friend who im sure has known about your date for a while
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Espo22

ok you said she moved upstate. Well since you invited her with her husband and expected her to come with someone, can't she just ask somebody to go with her.

And don't let her make you feel guilty, her excuse was that when her husband booked a trip that she didnt realize he wasn't coming back until the 3rd, first of all she should've been on top of that and even before he booked(since its around your wedding) to make sure to say to him uhmmmm be careful what days we book, we do have lauras wedding...and honestly if he booked it and is coming back right after the wedding i would've personally told him to change it, even if he had to get back the day before early in the morning and go straight to the wedding. She is a close friend who im sure has known about your date for a while


exactly! and in the voicemail she said 'im not going to have him cancel and lose $300'
meanwhile, i invited her mother and step father so she could drive with her mother but she said she doesnt know if her mother is going or not!!

my parents, sister and BIL, aunt and uncle , cousin and wife went to hers and her mother can't come either?!?!?!
i think FH is right - scre w HER!!!!
yelley77 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I'd be so pissed

MrsQ-in2007 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

So sorry you're going through this! Sometimes people forget how you've been with them when it was THEIR happy time or just don't care to return the favor.

Her being pregnant and not wanting to come alone I can understand to a certain extent - but that's when she speaks to her husband and says, 'honey, OMG we got the days confused and her wedding is on 2/2 - can you please cut your trip 2 days short so I don't have to go alone?' or tells her mom to please accompany her etc.

I think speaking on the phone is definitely best in this situation just because going back and forth on email can miscontrue some things. I totally understand you being super upset at this moment and not wanting to speak to her, but wait a day and give her a call. She did reach out and wants to speak, so I think you should call her. Or at the minimum email her and say, I am so hurt right now that I cannot speak to you over the phone - or something like that.

Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

Posted by Espo22

ok you said she moved upstate. Well since you invited her with her husband and expected her to come with someone, can't she just ask somebody to go with her.

And don't let her make you feel guilty, her excuse was that when her husband booked a trip that she didnt realize he wasn't coming back until the 3rd, first of all she should've been on top of that and even before he booked(since its around your wedding) to make sure to say to him uhmmmm be careful what days we book, we do have lauras wedding...and honestly if he booked it and is coming back right after the wedding i would've personally told him to change it, even if he had to get back the day before early in the morning and go straight to the wedding. She is a close friend who im sure has known about your date for a while


exactly! and in the voicemail she said 'im not going to have him cancel and lose $300'
meanwhile, i invited her mother and step father so she could drive with her mother but she said she doesnt know if her mother is going or not!!

my parents, sister and BIL, aunt and uncle , cousin and wife went to hers and her mother can't come either?!?!?!
i think FH is right - scre w HER!!!!


he wouldn't even have to cancel just come back a day early and its $300 for a steak house trip, its not that serious. If my FH booked a trip during a good friends wedding i would tell him its his mistake and to s*ck up losing the $300. I am so sorry, that is just wrong and after everything you've done you shouldn't deal with this
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

exactly!! i guess $300 was the air fare
big deal - ugh so annoyed and HURT
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

ugh i am sorry that you are going through this

my best friend warned me that weddings bring out the best AND worst in people and i am having a hard time dealing with this myself

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by ant n tilde

ugh i am sorry that you are going through this

my best friend warned me that weddings bring out the best AND worst in people and i am having a hard time dealing with this myself

i am still just in total shock that she wouldnt just bring her mother with her and view it as a no brainer!!!
Teamhurldon Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

i feel ya, some of my closest or so i thought friends arent coming and/or bailed on being in wedding... its very disheartening

dancinmyazoff Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by beachbum05

WHATTTTTTT!?

Not acceptable. At all.

She's a grown-up. She can attend things without her husband.

For me it would be a no-brainer.


Exactly...I'd call her out laura and tell her how you feel.
Belongs2DanBuckley Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

its unbelievable how quickly some people forget!
I'm sorry Laura....that's terrible! its jsut a stress u don't need!
ChristineAaron08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

WOW- thats RUDE
I'm sorry she is being like that
Good for you on calling her out on it
I would write her off if she is gonna be like that
Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

thanks girls
im even more annoyed now that on her voicemail that she left me she said 'if you dont call me back, that's on you'

How dare she try and turn this around?!?!?!?
Espo22 Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

thanks girls
im even more annoyed now that on her voicemail that she left me she said 'if you dont call me back, that's on you'

How dare she try and turn this around?!?!?!?


oh wow, did she even consider the fact that you might be at work and can't pick up or something.
LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Oh Laura - that stinks. It's so hurtful to find that you've been the giver in a relationship. Even when you expect zero reciprocity.

Some people are so selfish they don't even realize.

I'm so sorry - you're better off.

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.