Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Original post by Snowflake08

Dec 11, 2007 11:06 PM

Ok one of my so called best friends got married 2 years ago
I was in her wedding and helped her with EVERYTHING
i did her envelopes, had her shower at my apartment, planned the bachelorette party
got her e-ring at wholesale cost from my uncle and wedding bands and a lot of other stuff too

FH and i helped her move upstate when she and her husband bought their house

i sent her a text because i got a xmas card from her but no RSVP
she JUST sent me an email saying that she is NOT COMING to my wedding and her excuse is SO LAME

Her husband (who WAS my friend too) goes every January to a differen steak house in the US with his closest friends
so she emailed me that she didnt realize when he booked his annual trip that he wasnt getting back until Feb 3
MEANWHILE, i invited her mother and step father too so if she WANTED to be there and not drive alone, she COULD come with them!!!

what would you do or say to her if you were me??

FH is at work, i called him crying, he feels so bad but keeps telling me not to let it bother me

jenn122397 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 11:49 AM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

i know this is terriboe advice but if there was one thing i learned from planning my wedding is that it makes the people who love you stand out and those who do things such as this, really arent your friends at all.

That is a totally lame excuse - why can't she come by herself?
Although I know it is easier said than doen, you really have to just let it and your friend go.

jeffamanda080808 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 11:53 AM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by beachbum05

WHATTTTTTT!?

Not acceptable. At all.

She's a grown-up. She can attend things without her husband.

For me it would be a no-brainer.

As always....she took the works out of my mouth!!!

Seriously though, she SHOULD have called you to discuss this, not emailed. And not only that, she SHOULD be attending w/o her husband. No Acceptable. At all. Is right.

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:39 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

my mother just called and asked me for her address so she can send back the xmas card she sent her!!

i didnt give it to her but my mother and sister are SO upset
they know how much i helped her when it was her wedding

ant n tilde Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:42 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by jenn122397

i know this is terriboe advice but if there was one thing i learned from planning my wedding is that it makes the people who love you stand out and those who do things such as this, really arent your friends at all.

ahh so true!!!!!!!

hannahshim Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:47 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

WHATTTTTT
thats absolutely ridiculous!
what kind of excuse is THAT???
why dont you call her and tell her that it would mean alot if she comes even if it has to be without her husband..
that is sooo not acceptable..
you helped her so much! she should atleast show up and be there!!
I'm sure she knew about your wedding wayyy before her husband decided to 'book' the trip..
I am getting really angry here at work just listening to that! I cant even imagine how ANGRY you are
I'm sooo sorry you are going through this..

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:53 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

thanks, but the way i see it, is that the wedding invitations IS asking her to come

i refuse to beg anyone to attend my wedding and i won't ask again

if she wanted to be there, she would

Belongs2DanBuckley Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:55 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

thanks, but the way i see it, is that the wedding invitations IS asking her to come

i refuse to beg anyone to attend my wedding and i won't ask again

if she wanted to be there, she would

I completely agree! ESPECIALLY since you sent out STD!!!! ITs just ridiculous! She should be ashamed of herself....its really disgusting and tells you what her character really is

2007 Crescent Bride Posted: Dec 12, 2007 12:58 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I think you behaved like a true lady!! I would not call her back. Sorry.

Tori9299 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 01:00 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

That's not right she should go with out her husband.

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 01:00 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by 2007 Crescent Bride

I think you behaved like a true lady!! I would not call her back. Sorry.

thanks
and thanks Jessica
i WAS tempted to write back 'F U' but i didnt

im glad you guys dont think im over reacting

im just upset and angry and feel really used actually

Jetfan1521 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 02:10 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Wow...I just read through all the posts and I think I'm still in shock! How inconsiderate...here is my thing..I know you are so angry and upset...but honestly - after her leaving you that voice mail..and saying - 'now it's on you' - I would just simply email her now saying..listen..I am EXTREMELY hurt that you are not coming to my wedding..but to leave me the 'it's on you now' part was very wrong of you - I can't even bring myself to call you and speak to you right now. I need a day or so to re-evaluate our 'so called' friendship. Is it really worth losing a friendship over a $300 steak dinner trip? I hope you really really think long and hard over this.
I am so sorry you are going through this...it's supposed to be a happy time! I hate to say it..but every wedding I've ever been to has had some sort of drama! It's unfortunate!

dplehat Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:10 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

07 crasher here.
I went to my friends wedding alone because my husband was on a business trip. AND I was 5 months pregnant AND it is a high risk pregnancy. If she truely wanted to be there she would find a way. I am sorry you had to find out what type of friend she is this way . I am sure your wedding will be perfect with or without her

failurebydsign Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:15 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

id tell them..it was nice knowing yoou..

laura this is hapening to me right now..

when it comes to other people you are always there for them..but when it needs to be returned..nobody gives a $hit..im over this and i tell you to forget and have fun on your wedding day

Espo22 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:22 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by Snowflake08

Posted by 2007 Crescent Bride

I think you behaved like a true lady!! I would not call her back. Sorry.

thanks
and thanks Jessica
i WAS tempted to write back 'F U' but i didnt

im glad you guys dont think im over reacting

im just upset and angry and feel really used actually

you are not over reacting at all, i was getting angry just reading this. Its really not right at all, i mean its bad enough not to attend a close friends wedding but you had her shower at your house, you helped her get rings, helped with planning, did her cp's, i mean you would think she would do anything to be there for your wedding.

i agree about not begging her to go...i say just let her know exactly how you feel...i dont think ppl should throw it in someones face what they've done for them but in this situation i think its necessary...and dont even yell or anything bc she probably wont pay as much attention but just express yourself and then at the end say thank you so much for your friendship in return and thats it

Espo22 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:23 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by dplehat

07 crasher here.
I went to my friends wedding alone because my husband was on a business trip. AND I was 5 months pregnant AND it is a high risk pregnancy. If she truely wanted to be there she would find a way. I am sorry you had to find out what type of friend she is this way . I am sure your wedding will be perfect with or without her

awwww such a great friend

MikeandJess Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:38 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

I'm sorry Laura. Don't let her make you feel that you've done anything wrong, it's not your fault she can't leave her house unless her FH is holding her hand. Pretty pathetic if you ask me and you are much better off without her 'friendship'. Sometimes it takes things as awful as this to realize who your true friends are.

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:43 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

thanks girls

i think that is really what upsets me is that i bend over backwards for everyone i know!!

Snowflake08 Posted: Dec 12, 2007 03:44 PM

Re: Major VENT I am SOO UPSET

Posted by dplehat

07 crasher here.
I went to my friends wedding alone because my husband was on a business trip. AND I was 5 months pregnant AND it is a high risk pregnancy. If she truely wanted to be there she would find a way. I am sorry you had to find out what type of friend she is this way . I am sure your wedding will be perfect with or without her

thanks
i already sent that long email last night which i dont think she read yet

should i send another or i pretty much said everything already? i feel like i want to respond to the 'now its on you'