marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
Original post by kdelace
I haven't posted about this in awhile b/c ive been upset and tired from school and emotionally drained. Long story short we never did meet for dinner. He has mixed feelings and to be honest so do I. Although I miss him, my life has been peaceful and calm these past two weeks. he doesnt like when I yell and scream and that is what I became when I was with him, its not who I was. He sees it as me kicking him out when the truth was I couldnt take the fighting and arguing anymore. I was miserable. He doesnt think he has a problem and he thinks I am making a big deal out of nothing. Part of me feels bad for feeling that way and giving up because its only been 7 months but do I want to spend my life dealing with this???we were together a year and half before that and there were signs. i thought things would get better once we got married (naive) and it just got worse. he just doesnt see how it not only affects him but it affects me. he says he cant and won't change. so im supposed to accept that? sorry i can't. thats where I am right now....
Aga
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
Posted by MrsK-in-June05
I understand you are going thru a hard time...at the risk of getting flamed, I would like to answer a question. If your DH has an addiction why don't you try to help him? He may not want help right now but it sounds like he needs a friend. I am not taking his side in anyway but I had to ask. I lost a great boyfriend that was marriage material because I was the addict. He didn't help me and I still don't understand why. I suffered for 3 more years till I finally got help. I know what its like to be the addict. It's not fun and we don't try to hurt people along the way. In fact, he is being controlled by the substances whether it be booze or drugs. Even if you totally hate him at this point in time and he is being a total D*ck try and get him help. I don't know if it will save your marriage but it will save his life.
I know what you are talking about emily... I had an uncle who for years had an alcohol problem... since I can remember every Sunday my parents went to talk to him to get him to understand that he was destroying his life... most of the time he didnt listen I am sure since his problem lasted for so long but finally finally one day he got it... maybe at that point he was ready for change himself but I am sure it helped that he knew people cared about him and loved him no matter what (and believe me he was an a$$hole when he drank)
Aga
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
Posted by kdelace
i need a drink........
hang in there even though it doesnt seem like it, it will get better
Moehick
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
You will come out stronger, whatever the outcome is.
allure
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
Keep The Faith Within Yourself
nov.bride
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
Hi-
I have a very close friends who are going through a very similar situation and it sucks ( I fell awful for them) ! Your husband needs to get to the root of his inner demons or the root of the problem that causes him to drink or use.
In the meantime- try to hang in- take it day by day. Hope that he finally will decide to get help, as you know nothing will change until then.
Stay close to family and friends
pschica
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Re: marriage update...little long..sorry haven't vented in awhile!
s to you still. you are doing the right thing. it will be hard either way you deicde to go. while 7 months may not seem like a long time, it is and since it appears this was an unknown issue before those 7, its even longer. you have to do whats best for you future-wise. iw on't give you any advice b/c, since i am not living it, its not my decision to make, good luck. you are obviously a mature, wonderufl woman and i am sure you will make the right decision!
