Married before the wedding day...

Original post by the future mrs m

Apr 12, 2007 07:58 PM

Hi,

Have you or anyone you know gotten married (secretely or publicly) before the wedding day? Whether for insurance reasons, benefits, finances, etc...

My ex's cousn got married secretly before the date and we all went to jamaica to find out they were renewing their vows. (he needed her insurance b/c he had a kidney transplant). do you have a story like this?

L&R Posted: Apr 13, 2007 12:17 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

I met a couple at pre-cana who were already married and they weren't the host couple! They had gotten married in Vegas and wanted to have the church honor their marriage, so they were getting married in the church as well.

XFINALLYX Posted: Apr 13, 2007 01:25 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

this is what i wanna do since i havent had insurance in like 3 years and fh is in the police academy.. we're just worried that we cant get married in a church if we do that.

ejm1219 Posted: Apr 13, 2007 06:06 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

My grandparents actually did it. My great grandmother didn't want my grandfather to m arry my grandmother so they eloped and had a real wedding a couple months later :)

Storyfairey Posted: Apr 14, 2007 07:21 AM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

We did! We got roped into the big wedding thing and we were fighting so much over stupid details. So we did what we wanted, went to Vegas with my sister and his best friend and eloped our second day there. We haven't told anybody but we had excaltly what we wanted and are still making our families happy.

the future mrs m Posted: Apr 14, 2007 08:09 AM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

wow, i originally thought ppl would be like, 'why are you even on this board if you want to do that?' i can't believe it is so common. we talked about it more last nght and that's the plan if he does go into the academy. i am dying to be his wife already!

erdbeere Posted: Apr 14, 2007 02:48 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Posted by the future mrs m

wow, i originally thought ppl would be like, 'why are you even on this board if you want to do that?' i can't believe it is so common. we talked about it more last nght and that's the plan if he does go into the academy. i am dying to be his wife already!

Wow yea I also had no idea it was so common! Good to know we're not THAT unusual.

trish71407 Posted: Apr 14, 2007 02:50 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Posted by KickinDandelions

My cousin!! I didn't find out until someone accidentally let it slip...

FH and I might have to get married before we have the big ceremony because our parents are superstitious and want to find a 'good day' in the Chinese calendar for us to get hitched. So if 3/29 is not a good day in the calendar, we'll have to sign the license and everyone on a different day than when we're having the ceremony etc... which I really don't want to do...

(the reason why we couldn't pick a day right now that's 'good' is because the calendar hasn't come out yet...so we have to wait until later this year to find out!!)

FH parents wanted to do the same thing, he is chinese!- We chose not to though!

ant n tilde Posted: Apr 14, 2007 03:12 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

We were supposed to do this shortly after the engagement (December 2005). FH owns his own business so he has to pay a ridiculous amount for insurance and he has no dental or vision coverage! I work for the govt and get great benefits. However, I refused to move in with him until the church recognized our marriage. We decided not to go through with it bc it would be pretty silly to get married and still not live together.

Sometimes I regret that we didnt do it though - FH just spent over $6K at the dentist and it would have been less than $500 if he was under my insurance!

KickinDandelions Posted: Apr 14, 2007 04:54 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Posted by trish71407

Posted by KickinDandelions

My cousin!! I didn't find out until someone accidentally let it slip...

FH and I might have to get married before we have the big ceremony because our parents are superstitious and want to find a 'good day' in the Chinese calendar for us to get hitched. So if 3/29 is not a good day in the calendar, we'll have to sign the license and everyone on a different day than when we're having the ceremony etc... which I really don't want to do...

(the reason why we couldn't pick a day right now that's 'good' is because the calendar hasn't come out yet...so we have to wait until later this year to find out!!)

FH parents wanted to do the same thing, he is chinese!- We chose not to though!

yea...we weren't going to follow it..but my grandma really wants us to do it..and my mom doesn't want us getting into fights and having people say 'i told you so' behind our backs...sigh...

LBride Posted: Apr 14, 2007 06:43 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

our friends did because their parents wanted them married in a church and they wanted a beach ceremony....they got married in the church and then on the beach

misshealey1974 Posted: Apr 14, 2007 06:48 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

I ran this idea by FH a few times (I have no insurance right now, he has AWESOME insurance), but he's such a traditionalist, he said he wouldn't feel right about it..oh well

ZKAT22 Posted: Apr 14, 2007 06:51 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Me and my FH did that about 2 years ago..on FH's birthday. We were already living together so we decided to get married in city hall for paperwork reasons(car insurance, taxes, etc..). everyone knew though.

the future mrs m Posted: Apr 14, 2007 09:09 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

we talked about it again earlier and he was upset with his lack of tax refund and said we need to hurry up and get married for teh tax benefits :) lol..

eternitybride Posted: Apr 14, 2007 09:15 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

a friend of mine did this for their wedding day in CA. It was to relieve some of the pressure of the big ceremony, because the legal aspect would be done and they could just relax and have fun. They said it relieved a lot of the stress for them, rather than having all the nerves build up the day of.

misshealey1974 Posted: Apr 14, 2007 09:19 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Will the Catholic church still marry you if you are already married civilly?

daniebc16 Posted: Apr 14, 2007 10:33 PM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Actually yes. My brother wife is Greek and they married last year by a judge in order to stay in the country ..next year they are having a big wedding in Greece. They both feel as if they aren't truly married unless it is in a church. I see no problem with this, especially since we weren't there the first time. I think this is common and also acceptable IMO.

prinses777 Posted: Apr 15, 2007 12:14 AM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

Posted by misshealey1974

Will the Catholic church still marry you if you are already married civilly?

This answer is Yes...

To the original question. WE DID!

We got married 5/27/06 mostly for insurance reason because I needed to have surgery and my DR wasn't covered under my insurance.

Our parents, brothers, and good friends know... no one really in the extended family knows.

As for the Catholic Church s till marrying you... We explained the situtation to the father who is marrying us and he totally understood and said it was OK!

bettybcafe Posted: Apr 15, 2007 12:51 AM

Re: Married before the wedding day...

A lot of people do it! especially for insurance purposes. I was actually going to do it a few mths ago to be put on FH's insurance plan, but he lost his job shortly after, so we are back to square one..