we didnt' live together before the wedding, and we've done ok adjusting. BUT, for us, i think its not so much adjusting to living with each other, but just adjustnig to having our own place and all the responsibility that comes with it. you dont' realize how much work it is to do all the little stuff- keep on top of bills, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, keeping things organized, etc on top of working full time. for us, its was overwhelming at first and i think we took it out on each other a little bit. but we learned to talk about it with each other. you have to tell each other whats bugging you and how you can work together to fix thigns. communication is definitely key...
kflan75
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
We lived together before and were able to get through the stress of planning the wedding in that year-- so it hasnt been a big huge adjustment... we argue like everyone does.. but never go to bed angry... we also make sure that we meet ahlf way on everything-- and if we cant -- we give each other a heads up about it-- it makes it more fun and 'ok' one one of us has to pull more weight than the other from time to time.... i dont believe that its a 50/50 thing.... i dont feel like I live with a roommate-- i live with my soulmate-- and therefore its gotta be 100% from each.... give and take..
jencee73
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
Thank god I don't feel so alone on this. DH and I have been married a little over a month now, and its a huge adjustment for both of us. We both lived at home before getting married, actually DH was in the Army for 4 1/2 years and was only discharged in September. We've had a few spats here and there. He definately is a slob. I see that I'm not the only one who has a husband who has sock issues (leaving them all over). One morning I woke up and actually found his socks under the christmas tree. I told him that if he doesn't start picking up his clothes from the living room, I was going to throw them out. Then I decided on charging him a $1.00 for each article of clothing found on the floor that he doesn't pick up. Then my mom gave me a great idea from one of her friends which was to stuff his pillow with his dirty socks He leaves closet doors wide open, he's left the lights on the entire day when both of us were at work. He doesn't believe in airing out the bathroom, the list goes on. There are times I feel like a broken record when I ask him to do something. He's even been complaining about the apartment saying that management screwed us because we live on a 3rd floor walk up with no elevator. I'm like where you when we first looked at the apartment and you were pushing me to get it Then the kitchen light blub went out and again he's complaining.
Yeah so living together has been a huge transition for both of us.
msnora
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
No you are definitely not alone in this. I never lived with my husband prior too and it has been a huge adjustment. Things are getting better and they will for you also it just takes some time. Keep your head up :)
msnora
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
Posted by jencee73
Thank god I don't feel so alone on this. DH and I have been married a little over a month now, and its a huge adjustment for both of us. We both lived at home before getting married, actually DH was in the Army for 4 1/2 years and was only discharged in September. We've had a few spats here and there. He definately is a slob. I see that I'm not the only one who has a husband who has sock issues (leaving them all over). One morning I woke up and actually found his socks under the christmas tree. I told him that if he doesn't start picking up his clothes from the living room, I was going to throw them out. Then I decided on charging him a $1.00 for each article of clothing found on the floor that he doesn't pick up. Then my mom gave me a great idea from one of her friends which was to stuff his pillow with his dirty socks He leaves closet doors wide open, he's left the lights on the entire day when both of us were at work. He doesn't believe in airing out the bathroom, the list goes on. There are times I feel like a broken record when I ask him to do something. He's even been complaining about the apartment saying that management screwed us because we live on a 3rd floor walk up with no elevator. I'm like where you when we first looked at the apartment and you were pushing me to get it Then the kitchen light blub went out and again he's complaining.
Yeah so living together has been a huge transition for both of us.
Well I am sure with you on these issues!! DH has to have to garbage in his face about to trip over it before he will remember to take it out .... and the list goes on... As the older women at my job you are married say that we just have to train them :)
msnora
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
Posted by ronnysbride
Thanks ladies! I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one.
I'm guessing its difficult for me because I'm 29; I had my routine and now everything is changing...different name, different bank accounts, different address......etc etc.
Plus I lived with my parents my whole life........even though there was some fighting at times....I liked seeing them everyday. I especially miss chit chatting with dad.
At least I am lucky to have an understanding hubby......(he didn't freak out when he saw me crying last week...)
Have a good Monday!
Man this is how I feel. Just yesterday when I went to my parents house my dad walked me to the door and kissed me told me he missed me. And that if he known better he wouldn't have told my DH he couldn't marry me so that He could still have me with him. That made me sad.....I miss seeing them everyday too and knowing what's going on in the house and just little stuff. My DH isn't close to his family at all the few tht he has so sometimes I don't think he understands that I miss them or that I want to just hang out for hours with my sister and shop. It s really hard !
angnick
Posted:
Member since
Re: married life/living together ques....
It is not as easy as everyone says. We are together 7 and a half years and you would think u know everything about someone. it is like getting to know someone all over again.
we are figuring it out though. the beginning was a little tough, and now each day it gets easier and a lot more fun!
We are enjoying each other a lot more and we are settling into our routine..
