Maybe I'm not saying this the right way, is your FH giving you $$$ problems?

I am not an extravagant person, in fact I am a good bargain hunter, however, FH wants no part of the wedding planning, and only wants to know how much everything costs.

His mom and sister really gave it to him on Christmas Eve, when he brought me to tears over the spending. FH is really $$$ conscious and always feels like he's broke, even though he makes good money and saves a lot.

So, this is the THIRD time he has given me the $$$ lecture, and every time, I explain that I don't want to spend a ton of money either, and all I do is try to find the best deals. But it was ok to spend $6500 on a band, because he had to have a band instead of a free DJ (I work for a DJ).

To him, everything else is not important, and all he wants to know is how much it costs.

I have saved so much money by booking through the connections I have at work, and he still doesn't understand it.

I am so hurt right now that he tells me I am losing sight of what's important, while he doesn't care if we have carnations on the table and burgers and dogs at the reception, as long as he has the band.

Oh, and he has 190 uncuttable people on his list while I have 90!!!!!

Can someone tell me how to maybe explain myself in a different way so I don't have to keep repeating myself? I already know we don't see eye to eye on finances. He wants to sock it away and take it with him, and I like to be happy now, but we have to meet in the middle, and I think I have.

Why don't you try showing him comparisons..example

Photographer you wanted $5000
Photograpger you booked $2800

Then explain we are receiving the same package, same amount of proofs, same video and I still saved us $2200, what else would you llike me to do?!

And if that doesn't work explain that if he refuses to help how would he know if the prices are too expensive or reasonable? And explain if he did help you would be able to show him how you really are being frugal with the money!

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Posted by jesslangen

Why don't you try showing him comparisons..example

Photographer you wanted $5000
Photograpger you booked $2800

Then explain we are receiving the same package, same amount of proofs, same video and I still saved us $2200, what else would you llike me to do?!

And if that doesn't work explain that if he refuses to help how would he know if the prices are too expensive or reasonable? And explain if he did help you would be able to show him how you really are being frugal with the money!

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Excellent advise. Sorry you are having problems with FH. Weddings are very expensive and even if you shop around, you are still going to spend a bunch of money. I've been cutting corners and using family and friends who are in the business and it's still costing more then we originally planned for.... but weddings on LI are big business.

don't worry...

my fh is like that too... he thinks i'm getting too anal with wedding details and all i tell him is that it's my 'creative outlet.'
maybe i am, but i know in the end all of the hard work and bickering will pay off.

hang in there... you'll have a beautiful wedding...


p.s. i keep reminding fh that life's short. what good is money if you're dead tomorrow?
it seems to me as if you're not going overboard with the spending...
good luck!

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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OMG...this made me laugh!

I'm sorry sweetie...guys suck, don't they? UGH!

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Posted by wood2be

EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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We have one like every day lately!

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Posted by SomethingBlu

OMG...this made me laugh!

...guys suck, don't they? UGH!

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Especially when their wives have such bad credit

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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Oh forget it, every time he does bills he says, 'come here and sit with me and do this' and he has his chart and graphs and ruler and checkbook, he really is a nut, just like his father!

I say 'no thank you, I'm fine here on the couch' and he goes on and on about the bills......I just tune him out!

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by SomethingBlu

OMG...this made me laugh!

...guys suck, don't they? UGH!

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Especially when their wives have such bad credit

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I'm SO SORRY! My best friend got all of her credit cards taken away by her husband...she was depressed for a long time...it ***** that we have to compromise so much, but that's the price I guess to have a hubby that loves you.

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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That's what I was going to say.

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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That's a great idea! We used to have quarterly meetings, but foolishly stopped those.

What do you talk about each week?

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Posted by lilacwine

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by beautyq115

Well if he wants bagains he need to shop for them too!!!

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EXACTLY!

Just wait until you are married! We have a 'financial meeting' every Thursday night! Damn it! Today is Thursday

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That's a great idea! We used to have quarterly meetings, but foolishly stopped those.

What do you talk about each week?

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Yeah? What DO you talk about? I think I would have to take a Valium before I did that...

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Posted by lilacwine

What do you talk about each week?

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I think, it's about which bills get paid for that week and what is left over. About half way through I tune him out and he continues to talk A LOT! It all sounds Greek to me. I hear the words 'Debt Management' 'Stop using the credit cards' and my favorite 'this week, Suzie Orman said' I really don't like that Suzie woman!

Personally, I think I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so why sock so much of it away! I guess I should be happy one of us is worried about our financial future.

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by lilacwine

What do you talk about each week?

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I think, it's about which bills get paid for that week and what is left over. About half way through I tune him out and he continues to talk A LOT! It all sounds Greek to me. I hear the words 'Debt Management' 'Stop using the credit cards' and my favorite 'this week, Suzie Orman said' I really don't like that Suzie woman!

Personally, I think I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so why sock so much of it away! I guess I should be happy one of us is worried about our financial future.

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Oh, boy! He sounds worse than mine! What are we gonna do?

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Posted by wood2be

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Posted by lilacwine

What do you talk about each week?

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I think, it's about which bills get paid for that week and what is left over. About half way through I tune him out and he continues to talk A LOT! It all sounds Greek to me. I hear the words 'Debt Management' 'Stop using the credit cards' and my favorite 'this week, Suzie Orman said' I really don't like that Suzie woman!

Personally, I think I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so why sock so much of it away! I guess I should be happy one of us is worried about our financial future.

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In the lilacwine household, I'm the one who quotes Suze Orman!

I think we balance off our FHs.

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Posted by curliegirl

Oh, boy! He sounds worse than mine! What are we gonna do?

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I don't know. Retail therapy is the only thing I know!!!