Meet the parents weekend Horror

I had my meet the parents this weekend (FH's Father and Brother canceled last min so I was already alittle deflated). So I just let it go - determined to have a nice time and besides my mistake of sitting with my grandmother so I could hear everything she said (not your typical cookie baking grandmother), I thought everything went pretty well ok. So I just get off the phone with my Mom and she tells me that FH's Grandfather was weird with my stepfather and wouldnt shake hands - and I do know that FH grandmother was staring and made one obnoxious comment to my family. FH's Mom and Sister were absolute dolls as usual and really made the day but ....

Now I'm freaking out ??? How do I deal with old people stuck in their ways - I'm trying to be nice here but it is really making me sick to my stomache. How people in this day in age still think and practice hate. It really is freaking me out. I don't need these people judging my family. Sometimes I really feel like I dont want to go to the trouble of having a wedding for two families to celebrate if it is not going to be just that.
Any one else having a problem like this?

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, I have not had to deal with this so I can't offer you any advise, only hugs

Yep... his family...archie bunker & company... my family...all hippies.... you can only imagine.

I honestly don't deal with it, because my family does not let it bother them, if they want judgemental and tactless that's their problem, so we rise above it.... sometimes its the only thing we can do.

FH & I used to fight about it even before we got engaged, but it doesn't even affect us anymore.


I am sorry you have this extra stress

make sure you & FH keep a very open and loving communication about it....sometimes it is ok to disagree.

Also, try not to think about 'what's gonna happen.' instead try to think about what a great life you & FH will have together.

Hearz -

My mom just ignores it as well and told me to blow it off. She knew I was going to freak out about it .

Thank you guys so much !!!!!

I am really bummed out - and dont know if I should say anything to FH - he dosent know. I dont think he would say anything to them either - Maybe I should just give him a heads up before the wedding to make sure he keeps an eye on them?

I would tell your FH what's going on just so he's not surprised.
Have a hug and know that you have each other to get through this. Don't let petty/small people ruin what should be the best time of your life.

nothing to be worried about its not a reflectionof you

my grandfather actually could have sit in for archie bunker....and he has comments about everyone!!! He's German, so they'er the only good ones in his mind (love the man...but his attitude has to go!!)
FH is Italian and a the beginning, grandpa used to make racial slurs all the time around him....
so instead of getting mad at him - I decided to openly make fun of him and his ignoratn attitudes (in a sarcastic way of course) and he got embarassed by it and makes far fewer comments.
Not sure if that would work for you, but it worked pretty well for me!!

omg...my grandfathers comments would make me sick...

I don't have any suggestions b/c I just left my grandfather alone...and let him be a grumpy old man...without me around...

my father is a lesser version...and he also can make me sick...but he has changed a lot since I was a child...

I would let FH know...but I'm sure he already does...but maybe next time he will be more on guard...