'Missing' gifts from guests

Well, my wedding has come and gone and DH & I are faced with the age old dilemma - 'Missing' gifts.

Now, etiquette would certainly dictate that we say/do nothing. But we noticed that we didn't receive gifts from almost an entire table. 5 out of the 6 couples at one table didn't give a gift. What are the chances? These were close close friends, all of whom are married. All of whose weddings I/we attended (as well as showers, bach parties, baby showers, etc...) & they all received gifts from me/us. I mean, that's 5 couples. I already asked the RH & they were no left over envelopes. One of the people at the table is someone I am very close with, who did a reading, is the only one who we received a gift from. Do I ask her confidentially if she noticed if they had envelopes? What if they got lost? I am too scared to say anything.

The other 'missing' gifts were from my sister (BM), his sister (BM), his brother (GM) and one of my BFF (BM) and HIS PARENTS!!!! Since my sister LEFT during cocktail hour & never came back (she's an a$$hole), I guess she won't be giving a gift.

I'm just really shocked. We haven't said anything to anyone. I am shocked that his parents didn't give anything. They didn't pay for ANYTHING. Not the RD, not their hotel rooms... NOTHING!!!

So in total, that's 5 couples, the parents of the groom, 3 BMs & I GM that didn't give gifts. We only had 100 people. That's like over 20% of the wedding that didn't even give a card.

People are so weird...

That does sound odd.........

Wow! That's a lot. I would ask the friend that sat at that table. It's just odd that it was almost the whole table.
But his family??? What does DH say? I don't even know what to say about that.

I think that it's definitely weird that 5 out of 6 couples at one table didn't give anything. Seems likely that the envelopes went missing, no? I mean, I guess it's possible they didn't give anything, but like you said, what are the chances.

I would mention it to your friend that did the reading and see if she knows anything.

As for everyone else, that suckkkkkkkkkks!

At my cousin's wedding, her husband's ENTIRE SIDE did not give anything! Not the parents, his siblings, cousins, friends, etc.!!!!!! Well actually, only ONE person gave a card. It was for her, her husband, and her child that attended the wedding... in it was $20.

Yes. And my cousin and her husband spoke to his parents about it after the wedding - they were very hurt. The parents gave some kind of explanation and later gave them a check.

that is odd that almost a whole table is missing.... maybe just ask the other friend at that table if they saw anything...if you're really close to that person.

What a bummer about the others... I'm sorry

People are incredible. I would check with the person you are closest to seated at the table and ask if the other couples gave something. They may have given the gifts to someone else thinking they in turn were going to give it to you. 5 couples at 1 table not giving you something sounds a bit suspicious.

That's terrible! I really hope these people give you a gift in the next few weeks, because they just forgot!! I can't believe that!

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

I would too and just innocently say 'we were missing a lot of envelopes and the RH is worried they may have been misplaced during the shuffle at the end of the night...[some BS like that]

---

Posted by SunBride07

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

I would too and just innocently say 'we were missing a lot of envelopes and the RH is worried they may have been misplaced during the shuffle at the end of the night...[some BS like that]

---

I would ask them too.

---

Posted by SunBride07

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

I would too and just innocently say 'we were missing a lot of envelopes and the RH is worried they may have been misplaced during the shuffle at the end of the night...[some BS like that]

---

I would do something like that too. It'll embarrass them and make them feel bad still.

---

Posted by SunBride07

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

I would too and just innocently say 'we were missing a lot of envelopes and the RH is worried they may have been misplaced during the shuffle at the end of the night...[some BS like that]

---

Thats how I would handle it. be cute about it-all concerned like 'Dangit guys, we seem to be missing a lot of envelopes and the RH wants to make sure they weren't lost in the chaos so they want an idea of whose we're missing so if they don't find them, we can tell those people to stop payments on the checks.' they will most likely either A)get quite of they are guilt of being an a$$ or B) ask who's were mising and you start naming names.

I'd ask too!

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

I would definitely not ask them directly. Sorry, but that's downright rude. Gifts are discretionary! Yes, most people give gifts at weddings, but if you come out with 'where's my gift?' you sound like a spoiled brat. (even when your intention is just to make sure you didn't lose it) I also don't understand why people are advocating embarassing your guests for not giving you a gift.

I also think it's way too soon to ask people about gifts, anyway. You wedding was less than 2 weeks ago, wasn't it?

I might ask the one that did give a gift if she saw anyone with envelopes of heard anything in another couple weeks - with the explanation that you are just really afraid you may have lost them or something like that.

I wouldn't ask people directly. It's also very possible they are planning to mail their gift and haven't gotten around to it yet...

If they DID leave an envelope and it did get lost, they will ask you about it in another couple of weeks. (Most people wait about a month to ask)

ETA - I know the OP is genuinely concerned that gifts were lost... but I think to ask about it this early would be taken the wrong way. JMHO.

---

Posted by denadewolf

I would have to ask all of them. Embarrass them. How are they going to come to a wedding and not leave a check. Give me a break. Weddings are freakin expensive. This was not a free meal ticket. What do they think this is the red cross food pantry!!! Would piss me off.

---

HOWLING with laughter...

---

Posted by Kara and Todd

I wouldn't ask people directly. It's also very possible they are planning to mail their gift and haven't gotten around to it yet...

---

That's kind of what I was thinking. Maybe they believe in that '1 year to give a gift' theory...

No still think that leavin the bride and groom high and dry after shelling out all that dough is more rude than asking (guess I'm spoiled) and about that sucky one year rule. It is just for people who are more rude and cheap. I can't imagine going to a wedding and leaving without paying. You can't dine and dash at a restaurrant and say I have a year to pay. Most brides pay for their own wedding these days. You can't tell the credit card companies not to charge you interest on the loan you took with them to pay for the wedding. Wait I'll pay my cc payment when my 'Friends and family' decide to get off their A88. If its proper to wait I do not want to be proper.
Besides one of the waiters could have already spent their money. How would they ever know if they didn't ask!!!

Wow...that definitely seems weird. Especially since you are close with these people. I would def ask the friend who give you the gift...
sorry! That is a bummer!