MOH duties?

I'm getting married but I'm also a MOH in one of my BM's wedding the following month. We don't live in the same state. I'm wondering what should I be doing as her MOH before the wedding?

Re: MOH duties?

ets - yes but its gunna be hard from another state... maybe you and her mom can join together and do it.. you do as much as possible from where you are and have her mom do whatever she needs to do there??

Re: MOH duties?

I got this for my MOH- a list of duties..

The maid/matron of honor is part worker bee, part emotional lifeboat. Chosen for her energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion qualities, she should also remember that listening to the bride, making her laugh, and offering emotional and logistical support is also part of the honor attendant package. Here's a cheat sheet listing all of the duties:


Lead the bridesmaid troupe. It's the maid/matron of honor's (MOH) job to direct the other maids through their duties. Make sure all bridesmaids get their dresses, go to dress fittings, and find the right jewelry. Also provide them with the 411 on all pre-wedding parties.


Help shop for dresses (the bride's and the bridesmaids'). And the MOH pays for her own entire wedding outfit (including shoes).


Offer to help the bride with pre-wedding tasks, from addressing invites to choosing the wedding colors to nodding enthusiastically when she waxes poetic about wedding cake.


Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.


Host or co-host a shower for the bride.


Attend all pre-wedding parties.


Keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and showers (or delegate a bridesmaid to handle this).


Plan the bachelorette party with the bridesmaids.


See to it that all bridesmaids get to the rehearsal; coordinate transportation and lodging, if necessary.


Make sure that all bridesmaids get their hair and makeup done, get to the ceremony on time, and have the correct bouquets.


Hold the groom's ring during the ceremony. Safest place to put it? On the thumb.


Arrange the bride's train and veil before the ceremony begins and just after she arrives at the altar. The MOH might also need to help her bustle the train for easy dancing at the reception.


Hold the bride's bouquet while the couple exchanges vows.


Sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the best man.


Stand next to the groom in the receiving line (this is optional; the bride may decide to have attendants circulate among the guests instead).


Play hostess along with the other bridesmaids at frequent points during the reception: show guests where to sit, direct them to restrooms, tell them to where to put presents, invite them to sign the guest book, etc.


Collect any gift envelopes brought to the reception and keep them in a safe place.


Make sure the bride takes a moment to eat something -- refresh her drinks, get her a plate of food from the buffet table, or instruct wait staff to keep her entree warm.


Dance with the best man during the formal first-dance sequence and possibly be announced with him at the beginning of the party. Also dance with other groomsmen, the groom, and more.


Toast the couple after the best man.


Troubleshoot emotional crises. In most cases, this will require lots of tissues, hugging, and hair-smoothing. The MOH continues to be a trusted friend, a good listener, and a smart advisor.


Help the bride change for her honeymoon and take charge of her gown after the ceremony. Arrange for storage in a safe place until she returns.


Lend an ear. Whether it's about the planning, the marriage, or the registry china patterns, the MOH should assure the bride that she has someone with whom she can share her thoughts. Even if she seems to dwell on the same subjects repeatedly, the MOH keeps listening.


Keep the bride laughing. For the stressed-out bride, laughter can be as effective as venting.

Re: MOH duties?

I meant planning wise, I'm definately there for her for moral support. I just don't know if I'm responsible for planning a shower or bachelorette party etc.

Re: MOH duties?

I think you should plan the bacherolette party and the help with shower planning..

Re: MOH duties?

I just read the post above, thanks!!!

Re: MOH duties?

with your wedding the month before you should plan the bachlorette party now- not have it now- but do the planning stuff.The closer to your wedding and HM , the more you will have to do for your own wedding.

I would speak to her mom about the shower. My mom and stepmother planned my shower. Perhaps her mom is doing the same.

Re: MOH duties?

Did you ever consider doing all your stuff together? Just a suggestion

Re: MOH duties?

Julia,
She's actually getting married the same day you are :) I would love to do stuff together, but she lives in Boston I and live in Chicago. Its totally fun to have the same things going on at the same time. She's doing her STDs and I just finished my so I can totally feel her pain.

Re: MOH duties?

Irene:

Ask her what she expects of you as her MoH. My MoH and I had a long conversation about it (I actually have my MoH planning the bridal shower and one of my BM who is a very dear friend as well planning the bachelorette party). Definitely having the conversation helped out a lot. Two of my bridesmaids are from out of town, so I also spoke with them about the wedding and what was expected of them. It was definitely very helpful, productive and nipped in the bud any possibility for hurt feelings and miscommunication.