MOH trouble, what would you do?

I have to tell you, I'd appreciate the honesty.

I was reading article, I think in modern bride about 'wedding identity theft 'and how women steel ideas from each others weddings. I don't mean just inspired by, but word for word, color for color, flower for flower, steal!

My best friend and I are open to each other when we want to take each other ideas, but we get along and respect each other at the same time. So maybe its a personality issue, if you don't get along why is she a bridesmaid anyway? Is she family?

ok its hard... in a way u have to feel bad for her bc she is just jealous.. i cant believe someone would even say something like that!!! You really need to sit down and talk to her and tell her ur feelings... and if she trys to bush it off, dont let her make sure she knows ur serious!!! This is ur big day and no one should make u feel bad especially ur MOH!!! If she doesnt understand than u should think of making her a bridemaid or not putting her in the bridal party at all. good luck!!!

---

Posted by yswedding

I have to tell you, I'd appreciate the honesty.

I was reading article, I think in modern bride about 'wedding identity theft 'and how women steel ideas from each others weddings. I don't mean just inspired by, but word for word, color for color, flower for flower, steal!

My best friend and I are open to each other when we want to take each other ideas, but we get along and respect each other at the same time. So maybe its a personality issue, if you don't get along why is she a bridesmaid anyway? Is she family?

---

she's the type of best friend that i hate. she's my best friend, and i love her, but i hate her. her and i were friends for nearly five years, stopped talking for a year a and a half, and then began talking again about a year ago. technically, i still havent asked her to be one of my MOH's. she's just telling everyone, including me, that she is; and because i was planning on asking her anyway, i didnt say anything.

omg-- wow to me it clearly shows jealousy-- I dont want to say not to invite her-- but clearly your maid of honor should not be talking about anything in your wedding being a 'mistake' im not really sure if she truly understands how much it really bothers you-- (it should be common sense, but you never know) if anything sit her down and really tell her how you feel and tell her to relax-- her 2 month relationship may not turn out to be exactly what she intends it to be--hth

---

Posted by JackieV

ok its hard... in a way u have to feel bad for her bc she is just jealous.. i cant believe someone would even say something like that!!! You really need to sit down and talk to her and tell her ur feelings... and if she trys to bush it off, dont let her make sure she knows ur serious!!! This is ur big day and no one should make u feel bad especially ur MOH!!! If she doesnt understand than u should think of making her a bridemaid or not putting her in the bridal party at all. good luck!!!

---

its just so hard. and the guy she's dating is a total one-upper. when my FH and i would talk about things in front of them, the two of them would turn to each other and say things like 'oh well at our wedding we'll have that but this way' and its just very petty and immature and annoying. i just dont even want to deal with it anymore

---

Posted by MrsS4

omg-- wow to me it clearly shows jealousy-- I dont want to say not to invite her-- but clearly your maid of honor should not be talking about anything in your wedding being a 'mistake' im not really sure if she truly understands how much it really bothers you-- (it should be common sense, but you never know) if anything sit her down and really tell her how you feel and tell her to relax-- her 2 month relationship may not turn out to be exactly what she intends it to be--hth

---

as terrible as this may sound, i dont want it to. he's an immature jackass who thinks just because he has some good paying job he can look down on people and make comments when he has no idea of anything. she's always been one to be very self-centered, and she was doing better with it, like actually acknowledging it and making a conscious effort to stop; but ever since she started dating him, i just dont even want to be around her, let alone have her help with my wedding.

---

Posted by jesca

---

Posted by MrsS4

omg-- wow to me it clearly shows jealousy-- I dont want to say not to invite her-- but clearly your maid of honor should not be talking about anything in your wedding being a 'mistake' im not really sure if she truly understands how much it really bothers you-- (it should be common sense, but you never know) if anything sit her down and really tell her how you feel and tell her to relax-- her 2 month relationship may not turn out to be exactly what she intends it to be--hth

---

as terrible as this may sound, i dont want it to. he's an immature jackass who thinks just because he has some good paying job he can look down on people and make comments when he has no idea of anything. she's always been one to be very self-centered, and she was doing better with it, like actually acknowledging it and making a conscious effort to stop; but ever since she started dating him, i just dont even want to be around her, let alone have her help with my wedding.

---

well honestly-- i vote to have her in the bridal party-- but I would change my vote to only having her as a guest in the wedding-- and if they dont like it oh well-- money isnt everything- & they are no one to judge--they are suppose to be you friends (she is at least) that is not nice-- period--

weddings bring out the worst in single people and mothers of sons in my opinion.

you have made your statement, if she continues to be blatantly rude you should tell her so.

If she doesn;t understand that her words are hurtful you should tell her to take a hike!

---

Posted by MrsK2008

weddings bring out the worst in single people and mothers of sons in my opinion.

---

i think that's true, but not for all singles and all mothers - just the ones that have latent crazies waiting to get out! LOL Many of my single friends are very sincerely happy for me. This chick sounds like a piece of work. Since you didn't ask her, I wouldn't and then next time she says something just say 'You know, you're not my MOH' I would also stop talking to her about the wedding. She probably has her good points but she sounds a bit out of control and I would not want for this 'friend' to ruin your wedding planning - it's stressful enough. No need for added stressors. IMHO

In my opinion I would make her a BM but that would be my choice out of your options.

I had someone in my BP that was very jealous and to this day I wish I had cut her out all together. She was soooo excited and wanted to be a part of everything until it got closer, then it all switched to be 'practice' for what she was going to do. Now, thinking back i WISH I had made her a guest and not had her be such an important part. I have pictures that are beautiful but then you see her miserable mug in them and its ruined. I would wait it out, you have more then enought time to really decide what you want and what you dont, I wish I had waited-then I wouldnt have felt so bad telling her to go **** herself!

If she keeps it up bump her to a guest, the last thing you need is someone to point things out to you constantly and hurt your feelings


Good Lcuk, its a sucky position to b ein

If you haven't asked her yet then wait. Here's the thing. You're not getting married until 2010 right? There is PLENTY of time for this relationship(meaning hers) to explode. Relax. You should be around people who make you happy not stressed. I also appreciate her honesty, and I did the same thing in a way. My sister was married 1 1/2yrs before me on Mackinac also and so A LOT of what I did was becasue of her crappy wedding. Isaw what she had and CHANGED most of it. Relax.....it will work out and if it doesn't she can be a guest...after all you never asked her to be your maid of honor and that is a privilage

---

Posted by medic6809

If you haven't asked her yet then wait. Here's the thing. You're not getting married until 2010 right? There is PLENTY of time for this relationship(meaning hers) to explode.

---

Agreed. Next time it comes up, tell her that you haven't even thought about who is going to be in your bridal party as it's so far away. And honestly, if she's a 'frenemy,' why would you want this woman as part of your BP anyway?

I would definatly wait it out.. but if things get worse, def just demote her to BM, (but seeing as how you havent officially asker her anyway to be MOH it shouldnt matter)

dont worry she will get hers cause when she annouces she is engaged you can annouse your pregnant ~~ hahah (holy friends flash back!!)

JMO, if she is causing you stress, hold off on asking her to be a MOH and/or bridesmaid.

The smaller the bridal party, the easier things will be on you.

Later on, if you still feel that you need to, you can invite her.

If you can, laugh it off. Afterall, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!

i just dont even want to be around her, let alone have her help with my wedding.

Then don't. Try talking to her, but if this is the way she is and it drives you crazy then why would you want her to be your MOH or a BM on YOUR day. I would just have her as a guest.

its all just a crappy situation for me. especially because not many of our friends, or my FH for that matter are too fond of her. but i dont know, as much as i want her as a MOH i dont. i think i might just wait it out.

Wow, just don't tell her anything. She'll see it at the wedding but to be honest- when you're in a wedding- you are so busy taking pictures and hanging with the bridal party that you tend to miss a lot of the action.

FH's friend is also getting married and they are competing with us. The thing is we don't say ANYTHING and let them talk all they want. It's so stupid that it has to be like this but sadly, there are people like this.