Ok, so let me start by staying that since the year 1999, all I have been doing is planniing for my MOH. She got married in 2000 ( I threw her a bridal shower and hosted a bachelorete party in Florida). In 2001 she had a baby ( she got pregnant shortly after her wedding) and bought a house. So that year I was helping her move and planning a baby shower. So as far as I'm concerned that last three years have been about her. I told all my BMs that I did not want any pregnant MBs in the bridal party. I know that sounds unreasonable but this is how I felt. So my MOH tells me yesterday that she thinks she might be pregnant. She was pretty ****ed that I would expect her to plan her life around my wedding. I was ****ed that she couldn't wait 6 freakin months to get pregnant. I know it should not matter but as selfish as it may seem I just wanted a couple of months to be about me and not her and her next adventure. Not to mention that she was miserable to be around when she was pregnant the first time. I don't know....I'm just annoyed. I know I'll realize that her getting pregnant is really none of my business but I have to be honest, I'm a bit annoyed!
nlp
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Re: MOH vent
Thanks girls,
I know that I'm being unreasonable. But honestly speaking I'm rarely a selfsish person especially when it come to my MOH. But I just wanted to be able to hang out, drink and have fun on the days leading up to my wedding and on my wedding day with my MOH. There was no reason why she could not wait 6 months!!! I'm not asking her to put her life on hold any more than I put my life on hold when she got married. I just feel that in some way this is going to take away from me...and I'm not happy about that. In the end I know that there is no way in hell that I would kick her out of the Bridal Party or make her a BM because she is truly my best friend. I just wished she had acted like more of a best friend and just waited a little while longer ( I mean we're only talking about six months) before getting pregnant.
Fran M
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Re: MOH vent
We are all entitled to vent now and then. Thats one of the great things about this board.
I can understand your feeling the way you do especially since this is someone you did so much for. But you are correct, you are being unreasonable. The good thing is that you realize it. So vent all you like right here.
dkga1026
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Re: MOH vent
it's okay to vent...thats one of the reasons this board is here...just don't be mad at your friend....look at it this way: what if she wanted to have a baby aorund the time of your wedding and asked you and your FH to change your plans? would you really hold up the rest of your life and all your wedding plans? that would be unheard of....
NovemberSue
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Re: MOH vent
Yes,thats a good analogy.
Jenn524
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Re: MOH vent
When I asked my MOH to take on the responsibilty, I knew that her and her husband were trying to get pregnant. It did not bother me at all. This woman is my best friend, my drinking buddy and I have so much fun with her when we hang out. But I would not ask her to change her plans. I would never ask someone in my BP to change things in their life so I can have the perfect wedding and the perfect pictures. It is my wedding and I do want things to go my way, but there's a limit to what you can ask people to do. I also have a BM who's sister is pregnant and is due the day before my wedding. I told her that if she gets a call that morning and finds out her sister is in labor, she should go and be with her sister. Yes it's going to screw up the bridal party, but my wedding should not dictate what others can and cannot do with their life. I would totally understand if my BM wanted to see her niece/nephew be born.
That being said, you have every right to vent here. If I may offer you some advice though, try not to make your MOH feel bad about being pregnant. Take out all of your anger here and with your FI.
maysie18
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Re: MOH vent
Maybe you should think about how you would feel if someone put you in this position. Its very easy to say that you would honor the request now, but really think about how this would make you feel if the tables were turned. This is bordering on bridezilla, sorry.
I'm sorry that MOH has bogarted your life since 1999, but unfortunately I'm also learning the hard way w/members of our BP: just cuz you've been there for them over the years, doesn't mean they'll be there for you when you need them.
& you know what? Sometimes when you issue these type of unreasonable ultimatums, it only makes the person try harder to do exactly what you asked them NOT to do in the first place. You are basically telling her to have protected sex w/her husband for the sake of your wedding day??!! That's a little off the hook.
Hope it all works out for you somehow. Good luck!
eroxgirl
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Re: MOH vent
I realize asking a person to suspend their life because of your wedding may be unreasonable, but I totally understand it!!!! My MOH is planning on having a baby before my wedding but she's waiting to get pregnant...like you, my life has revolved around her plans since 1999, she got married, had a baby and now wants no. 2. It's not that I don't want her to live her life and have her children, but I want her there with me on my wedding day like I was for her and if she's 8 months pregnant there are sooooo many things that can happen to make that impossible...
And most of my friends feel the same way so I don't feel that guilty...my MOH had one of her BM's plan a pregnancy around her wedding too!
