Ladies, I need your help!!! My mom lives in FL & has never been to a NY wedding, & she doesn't really understand the hoopla that goes along with it.
Well, she got a dress that's really beautiful, but not nearly formal enough for our wedding. I don't know what to do. She already paid the full amount for the dress, & I don't even know where she could go to get a formal gown. She's not comfortable wearing strapless or spaghetti straps, and doesn't want to be uncomfortable. What do I say to her? and how do I say it without hurting her feelings?
PS She's very stubborn when she doesn't want to do something
Christys0925
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
To be honest as long as she is comfortable with it let her wear it. BUT I wold be honest and tell her it may not be as formal as most people will be dresed. Maybe she will decide to get a different one on her own !!!!! JMO
To be honest as long as she is comfortable with it let her wear it. BUT I wold be honest and tell her it may not be as formal as most people will be dresed. Maybe she will decide to get a different one on her own !!!!!
She won't decide on her own to get a different dress (trust me ). But my FH's mom said she'll wear something conservative for the church (something like my mom's dress) & she's gonna change into a very formal gown for the reception. I don't want her to upstage my mom!
Christys0925
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Wow I wish I had some magical words of advise. All I can say is your just going to have a sit down with your mom and tell her you want her to wear something more formal !! I'm sorry. Mom's can really stress you out. Mine does !
CrisiDrue
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
My parents don't understand the whole 'ny wedding' thing.
Christys0925
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I'm sorry !!!!!!!!
LoveisBliss
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Explain to her the hoopla that goes along with a NY wedding.... the formality, etc... sit her down nice and calmly and explain to her that this is just how it's done here.... get her to understand that she will feel very underdressed (and embarassed) when she gets to the reception and sees the guests... and that will actually make her feel WORST than having to wear a fancy spaghetti strap all night...
If the bride is the princess for the day, then the mother of the bride is the queen for the day, and she should look the part... people will wonder what's up with the MOB.. doesn't she know it's her daughter's wedding today.. why is MOG upstaging her?? etc etc.... and it will all be showcased for eternity in the pictures lol...
she will come around when you explain all this to her... also, she can look elegant, stunning, and comfy... she doesn't have to wear something she doesnt like or feels uncomfy in... lotsa options.. for example if she hates spaghetti straps she can wear a fancy bolero or shawl/wrap...
If she still doesn't give in, there is a rule out there where the bride can FORCE the MOB to wear something against her will lol...
hope that helps
cookiemonster
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
I think you could actually work with that dress to make it look dressier with the right accessories - a sparkly necklace, some strappy shoes, beautiful earrings, etc. If you think your mom is going to be really upset about wearing something more formal, maybe you can consider suggesting the jewelry/shoes option instead?
prinses777
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Posted by cookiemonster
I think you could actually work with that dress to make it look dressier with the right accessories - a sparkly necklace, some strappy shoes, beautiful earrings, etc. If you think your mom is going to be really upset about wearing something more formal, maybe you can consider suggesting the jewelry/shoes option instead?
Very True... Maybe put a big beautiful crystal and pearl broach on it near her cheast or at the bottom of the first tier!
I have seen worse... Its not as bad as I think you think it is... doest that make sense?
ETA Wait... You are also getting married in the afternoon right??? it says 12:00 I think that might be a suitable dress for an afternoon wedding (more so for a guest, but you can def dress it up for your mother)...
Kara and Todd
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Hey date twin!
What time of day is your wedding?
I really don't see what is wrong with that dress - you could certainly dress it up enough for a summer wedding!
If your mom comes to NY, take her to Lord & Taylor in the city or to Bloomies -- large selection of dresses, many of which are NOT strapless or spaghetti straps (my mom didn't want that either).
Kara and Todd
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Posted by prinses777
Posted by cookiemonster
I think you could actually work with that dress to make it look dressier with the right accessories - a sparkly necklace, some strappy shoes, beautiful earrings, etc. If you think your mom is going to be really upset about wearing something more formal, maybe you can consider suggesting the jewelry/shoes option instead?
Very True... Maybe put a big beautiful crystal and pearl broach on it near her cheast or at the bottom of the first tier!
I have seen worse... Its not as bad as I think you think it is... doest that make sense?
ETA Wait... You are also getting married in the afternoon right??? it says 12:00 I think that might be a suitable dress for an afternoon wedding (more so for a guest, but you can def dress it up for your mother)...
Says 12AM - which is midnight... she probably never changed the time when she put the date in!
PeterNina Mom
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Posted by cookiemonster
I think you could actually work with that dress to make it look dressier with the right accessories - a sparkly necklace, some strappy shoes, beautiful earrings, etc. If you think your mom is going to be really upset about wearing something more formal, maybe you can consider suggesting the jewelry/shoes option instead?
I agree you can work with that dress and really dress it up.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
I also agree - I see nothing wrong with the dress. You can really dress it up with jewelry or like someone suggested above, with a brooch. It will look very nice!
Honestly, I believe it's more important for your mom to feel comfortable on your big day than for her to be wearing a dress that you like more but she doesn't. I say, add a brooch, wear the right jewelry, and maybe ask her to do a half up or an all up hairdo (different from whatever you have, of course) and to bring the elegance level up a bit, put some simple sparkly pins at the very back of her 'do'.
nifheim
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Honestly that is what my mom kinda wants and i kept pushing her for a bit more glittery stuff just somewhere on it to dress it up and then i realized she really wore a glittery dress on my bro's wedding and was miserable. She is heavy and she hated the fact she sparkled the entire time! I felt bad now kinda pushing her but I told my mom if she picks something liek that out just dress it up with her extensive bling she has sitting in her damn jewelry box. SO as everyone says you can def. work with that!!!
SoontobeMrsO
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Well my FI didnt like the dress that his mom bought - so he took her shopping in the city for a new dress.
Check out my mom's dress in my album.
soon2bmrsdunn
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
I wouldn't say anything to her. Maybe suggest jewelry that could dress it up a bit. But if you mentioned the dress not being dressy enough, you might hurt her feelings!
KickinDandelions
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
I think that dress is really nice!! Have you shown her pictures of FH's mom's dress? Perhaps that will inspire her to choose something else..or maybe she doesn't really want to be the center of attention and she's more comfortable wearing something a little subdued. If you still think she should get another more formal dress to wear to the reception, another option is to rent a dress...that may save some $$ ...i know FH's mom rented a couple dresses for FSIL's wedding...
Snickers76
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
I don't think there is anything wrong with your Mom's dress. I also don't think that your guests will be wondering 'what's up with the MOB' or 'How could she!' That dress is beautiful and perfectly appropriate, it may not be what you envisioned, but sometimes we have to let go of those visions and be realistic. My Mom was so stressed out for my brother's wedding. She has MS and is in a wheelchair. She had to go dress shopping, get alterations and be wheeled into the Floral Terrace in front of 200 guests. She is simple and shy. It was her worst nightmare. I always said I would never make her go through that again! She ordering a dress from a catalog and having her friend hem it if necessary. Anyone who wants to talk about her can feel free! We'll be enjoying ourselves!
Fara
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Re: Mom Dress (sorry, long)
Don't you think it will look dressy with accessories, hair and makeup?
If not, have you shown her a picture of your fmil's dress? Do you think she would see it and realize it's more formal than hers?
