mom problems

just wondering if anyone still living at home is having problems with their moms since your engagement, I have always been so close to my mom and since the engagement she has been so unenthused about it and says i am selfish with it all, it kills me and I guess it is just my unfotunate situation, sorry to vent just wondering if this was even half way normal.

Re: mom problems

Sorry to hear about this. Perhaps you need a little one-on-one with your Mom. You mentioned how close you were with her before the engagement, tell her you miss the closeness you once shared and tell her you both need to work on your relationship better, because you are excited about your wedding and you would like her to share your sentiments too.

Re: mom problems

i don't know if im better or worse off, I've never gotten along wtih my mom, and for some strange reason I thought that the wedding would bring us closer...nope. all i have heard is, 'when I got married I didn't bother grandma with any of this' and 'it's not supposed to be a show, it's a wedding' etc, etc.

Re: mom problems

Not to be blunt here, but my mom died almost 9 years ago, and let me tell you life is to darn short, sit and talk to her! You should be enjoying this time with her, I wish I could.

Re: mom problems

i think that maybe your mom is sad because she is realizing that you are getting married soon and will be leaving 'the nest'....it's hard for her because she is truly happy for you, but i'm sure there is small selfish part of her that feels sad too that you are moving on to a new stage in your life that does not include her as much....

talk to your mom and try to explain that things won't be as different as she may think after you're married.....maybe you need a 'bonding' day..

Re: mom problems

my mom was the same way when i first got engaged. she didn't want to help me with anything and she just wasn't interrested. then one she just came around and now she is totally involved with the planning. i think in the beginning she was sad that she was losing her little girl. things will work out for the best just try talking to her.

Re: mom problems

My mom and I have always been close and she's very excited about the whole wedding. She does get on my nerves about some things, but for the most part she has been extremely helpful.

Let's see, I dragged her to:

7 halls
2 photographers
3 videographers
9 bridal salons

And I know she's been going with my FMIL to see restaurants about bridal showers, so she's really into the whole planning thing. I can't wait to take her shopping for her dress.

She has also told everyone in existence about the wedding and everything surrounding it.

Re: mom problems

Maybe she is trying to find a way to deal with you leaving the house. Are you the last kid at home? If so, that is a huge thing for most parents to deal with.
Maybe you both just need a few days away from the planning and then a nice lunch out to talk.

Re: mom problems

It's not my Mom that I'm having major problems with, it'y my father. He is such a negative person that I'm majorly stressed now.

My mom's been good. I've dragged her to 5 bridal salons, a DJ company in the city, a florist, and yet has to come with me for video and photographer.

But my father is the major pain the the butt

Re: mom problems

thanks guys i think you were right about talking to her, so i did. She is really taking this whole everyone leaving her thing pretty badly and I think it has alot to do with it but we talked and worked things out and we are going for a pedicure and lunch today!!

Re: mom problems

I didn't post originally b/c I am so sensitive on the subject b/c my Mom passed just 2 years ago, and I may have seemed harsh.

So I just want to say that that is wonderful, I think you did the right thing by talking !!!