Monetary gifts preferred--UPDATE ON PAGE 2

So, sorry to bring this topic...............back up!!!

BUT

MY SUPERVISOR...KEEPS ASKING ME? WHAT GIFT DO I WANT FOR THE WEDDING.,Wants to know, where am i registered at

I thought it was standard to give Cash.......


This is what my dad was talking about...


People just giving gifts from out of the wood works..............Duplicates. I told my supervisor...(gifts)...that is what people give at the bridal shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Spitzergirl

So, sorry to bring this topic...............back up!!!

BUT

MY SUPERVISOR...KEEPS ASKING ME? WHAT GIFT DO I WANT FOR THE WEDDING.,Wants to know, where am i registered at

I thought it was standard to give Cash.......


This is what my dad was talking about...


People just giving gifts from out of the wood works..............Duplicates. I told my supervisor...(gifts)...that is what people give at the bridal shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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you answer 'well, we are trying to save up for a house (or whatever), that is what is most important to us right now'...

i will not be registered anywhere. word of mouth via family and friends will take care of the 'cash preferred' situation as we really are trying to save up for a home…

Spitzer-
Here is the thing. You WILL get gifts from some people. I definitely did not get cash from everyone and that is okay. Hopefully, what you will get will be gifts you need. If he is not going to the shower, which, as a man, I am sure he is not, he will give you a gift for the wedding. About 12% of my wedding gave me gifts.
I just dont think you could respond to that comment from him. If you put cash on the bottom of the invitation, you will get less than you would have originally with people being offended. People want to make you pleased by giving cash but they don't want you to think it's an automatic. It's kind of like charging a ticket to your wedding JMO.

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Posted by september2004

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Posted by Spitzergirl

So, sorry to bring this topic...............back up!!!

BUT

MY SUPERVISOR...KEEPS ASKING ME? WHAT GIFT DO I WANT FOR THE WEDDING.,Wants to know, where am i registered at

I thought it was standard to give Cash.......


This is what my dad was talking about...


People just giving gifts from out of the wood works..............Duplicates. I told my supervisor...(gifts)...that is what people give at the bridal shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

you answer 'well, we are trying to save up for a house (or whatever), that is what is most important to us right now'...

i will not be registered anywhere. word of mouth via family and friends will take care of the 'cash preferred' situation as we really are trying to save up for a home…

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Sounds perfect...to me!!!

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Posted by sept20yay

Spitzer-
Here is the thing. You WILL get gifts from some people. I definitely did not get cash from everyone and that is okay. Hopefully, what you will get will be gifts you need. If he is not going to the shower, which, as a man, I am sure he is not, he will give you a gift for the wedding. About 12% of my wedding gave me gifts.
I just dont think you could respond to that comment from him. If you put cash on the bottom of the invitation, you will get less than you would have originally with people being offended. People want to make you pleased by giving cash but they don't want you to think it's an automatic. It's kind of like charging a ticket to your wedding JMO.

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Thank you so much, the invitation has already been printed. I did not put anything at the bottom. I was just so shock , that he would ask me such a thing. He knows, I am still living with parents. Also, he keeps asking me....Tell me where you are registered...and so forth!!!! & that he never heard...of a person not registered for wedding gift.

It is not common in most of the rest of the country to give money as a wedding gift. As a matter of fact, in many places, it would be insulting. Simply because it is the trend here for gifts to be given at showers and money to be given at weddings doesn't necessarily mean that it's written in stone.

Someone may want to give you a gift, but may not be able to afford very much. Would you rather receive a $40 gift from your registry - something that you obviously want but haven't bought for yourself - or a $40 check? I imagine most people would get offended at the $40 check.

I've been involved in threads about this issue in the past that have gotten very heated, but the bottom line is that if someone is giving you anything, no matter what the value is, accept it graciously and say thank you. And keep your expectations low when it comes to gifts...this way, you'll never be disappointed.

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Posted by jannshari

It is not common in most of the rest of the country to give money as a wedding gift. As a matter of fact, in many places, it would be insulting. Simply because it is the trend here for gifts to be given at showers and money to be given at weddings doesn't necessarily mean that it's written in stone.

Someone may want to give you a gift, but may not be able to afford very much. Would you rather receive a $40 gift from your registry - something that you obviously want but haven't bought for yourself - or a $40 check? I imagine most people would get offended at the $40 check.

I've been involved in threads about this issue in the past that have gotten very heated, but the bottom line is that if someone is giving you anything, no matter what the value is, accept it graciously and say thank you. And keep your expectations low when it comes to gifts...this way, you'll never be disappointed.

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I most certainly agree with you.

Okay...........

The invitations are out. I did not put it on the invitations..

But, it just amazes me, that a supervisor would keep asking me, what gift I want. I will just tell him, fh and I are trying to purchase a house.

That is it!!!!!!!!

whether it is tactless or not when people ask me what i want for a gift I kinda say, 'oh well my FH and myself are saving for a house' if they do not seem t oget it, I kindly say, 'an envelop in your breast pocket.'
it sounds better when it is said

Ok here is my take and you can take my advice or leave it....

While it might be common practice in NY for people to give money NOT everyone does it and I can tell you I have had people tell me they aren't comfortable with it. You can't force someone to give you money and even if you hint or tell them that you want money they STILL might not get it for you if they are not comforatble with that practice. We had about 15-20% of our guests bring or send gifts who attended our wedding and many who didn't attend sent gifts as well. We got a lot of stuff from Tiffany's.

I have had my own apt for almost 7 years so I have appliances, dishes etc. I used my registery to replace old things, get things that I wanted but wouldn't buy for myself. Maybe your boss is simply not comfortable giving you money - I don't understand if he wants to give you a gift let him - just tell him something that you and FH need or want if he will buy you a gift then you might as well get something that you want. I will tell you I was NEVER comfortable when someone asked me I would always say anything you get will be perfect since you took the time to think of us.

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Posted by Spitzergirl

I have seen this on invitations all the way at the bottom in a tiny font, much more smaller then the wording invitation.

Is this poor taste to get cash , instead of family members or friends giving you 4 toasters at your wedding?

My girlfriend recieved so many gifts that were duplicate that she wished she had suggested monetary gifts. What do you ladies think?

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Girlfriend..don't do it!!! So tacky...we all want money but don't put it on the invite!