Do your friends have misperceptions about your family income? And if so, do you try to change their 'view'? Do you care what they think about your financial status?
Some of our friends overestimate what we make, simply due to where we live and our occupations!!! And we're not liking it
So I wonder what can we do to change the situation (without full financial disclosure)
shamma
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Re: Money and wealth question
I don't care, I think its more his family and some other folks, if they want to believe that its on them. I am not going to take it upon myself to explain anything to anyone. I never get why one's income or status etc, etc, is of such great concern to others.
shamma
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Re: Money and wealth question
To really answer your question, beg them for sugar, butter, milk, act like you are broke. Their assumptions is not your concern.
PS should you walk around like you are poor to make them feel better??? or should you tell them your business. People will always talk.
halloweenbride04
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Re: Money and wealth question
FH's sisters seemed to think I was making much more than I do. I guess partly based on where I was living (before moving in with FH), where I went to college and what I do for a living (although anyone in the Development/Fundraising field knows there not much $$ here). I found out that they thought this in a conversation where two of his sisters were talking about a potential promotion and one sister said how much of a raise it would be and the other got embarassed and said she didn't want me to know how much less than me she made. I thought it was interesting that they thought this and just joked by saying I wasn't Bill Gates or anything. It doesn't bother me and I really don't care personally.
alina
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Re: Money and wealth question
I guess it annoys me b/c then people can expect you to pay more than your share of the restaurant bill, or can get offended if you choose not to go out somewhere due to costs.
What-Now
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Re: Money and wealth question
now, that's obnoxious! Everyone should carry their own weight regardless of the income!
shamma
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Posted by alina
I guess it annoys me b/c then people can expect you to pay more than your share of the restaurant bill, or can get offended if you choose not to go out somewhere due to costs.
People do this to hubby all the time and it boils my blood. I told him to not make it his duty to pay for others all the time, now it seem as if they have come to expect it and when the bill comes, I never see anyone but him reaching for it. Guess what, the outings have gotten less and less. We now do more eat ins.
curly2003
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Re: Money and wealth question
Ahhhhhhhh Shamma, the word of reaosning
merf99
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Re: Money and wealth question
I soooooo agree that people don't understand if we don't go out with them (due to money reasons) and always expect us to put in more. We make a nice living but neither of us make GREAT money. We go on vacation alot but that is because we use alot of air miles and I hate feeling like I have to explain that to people. Anytime I go on vacation, people always are saying oh AGAIN???
It's nobody's business and I hate people who just assume!
Latina511
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Again, Shamma you always know the right thing to say.
jennbaby
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yes.
starhead
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I think people overestimate what I make (since I'm a lawyer and most people assume they make big $$$) and what DH makes. They forget that I'm paying a lot of $ in law school loans.
I do think that a lot of people overestimate what their peers or others are making because most Americans live beyond their means and spend like they make more than they do. But that's just my opinion.
NYCHICK
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Re: Money and wealth question
I have had friends like that and they are no longer my friends. It would be hard to stay friends with someone who seems to always have your pocket on their mind.
jennbaby
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Posted by shamma
To really answer your question, beg them for sugar, butter, milk, act like you are broke.
good one
alina
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Posted by starhead
I do think that a lot of people overestimate what their peers or others are making because most Americans live beyond their means and spend like they make more than they do. But that's just my opinion.
That's the thing. We're actually trying to save for a house and will both be going to school staring February, so we don't do anything outrageously expensive and don't go out to $100/pp dinner places. So simply b/c of where we live and our occupations, we're millionairs. Never mind that now there are 2 salaries paying for a 1-br apt, so yes, its a little easier in that regard.
nrvbrd
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Re: Money and wealth question
We got this during our wedding planning.
We kept telling people we were on a strict budget and money was tight.
People could not believe it, they were like you dress so nice, always going out . always going on vacation etc etc.
People just don't get it.
shamma
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Re: Money and wealth question
Posted by merf99
We go on vacation alot but that is because we use alot of air miles and I hate feeling like I have to explain that to people. Anytime I go on vacation, people always are saying oh AGAIN???
It's nobody's business and I hate people who just assume!
Can the church say AMEN!!!! Hello do you know how many nights a week we are eating spam so we can travel Why should we explain that tho' I think they know who to ask. Roger is easier to handle than me, he is now telling everyone, ask the wife or I will check with the wife Don't commit our monies to anything either.
eroxgirl
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Re: Money and wealth question
Posted by nrvbrd
We got this during our wedding planning.
We kept telling people we were on a strict budget and money was tight.
People could not believe it, they were like you dress so nice, always going out . always going on vacation etc etc.
People just don't get it.
People assume their priorities are your priorities...and ya know what happens when you assume
I have the opposite problem with some of my friends - they remember when I wasn't always able to make ends meet, so now they always tell me about discounts or ways to save for this or programs to help with that. I have one friend who at times has said she feels sorry for me because I didn't have a lot of money growing up and meanwhile she's sitting on her own pile of debt...
It's annoying both ways.
alina
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Re: Money and wealth question
Posted by nrvbrd
People could not believe it, they were like you dress so nice, always going out . always going on vacation etc etc.
People just don't get it.
You make your choices where to spend $$$ on. You can either buy 10 crappy shirts, or 2 nice ones, but people will always remember the nice ones... Or perhaps you're not spending $$$ on plasma TV and such home luxuries and have a dial up internet connection over cable.
There are ways to play with a budget to make it work...
OctBride03
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Re: Money and wealth question
I don't care either... let them think I'm rich! DH and I do not care to talk finances with anyone! Here and there we will, but NO ONE knows exactly what we make, not even our parents. We like to let people wonder!
My dad's family used to do this to my parents, treat him like he is never hurting financially, etc. He HATES it - he works two jobs and works hard for his money. He just lets it go in one ear and out the other...
