i have been loading all our wedding expenses into an app that helps us track it. I'm starting to panic and get heart palpitations at the thought of the cost. Our wedding is about 13 months away and we are paying for a large chunk of it.
Does anyone else feel EXTREME PANIC?
gertyrae
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Oh yeah, My FI and I have had so many discussions about this that I can't wait till it's all done so we don't have this huge money thing all the time.
wenndypoo
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Oh yeah! I had a mini-mental meltdown the other day over finances! It is so overwhelming.
Hang in there, it will all be worth it in the end.
Jen2704
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Yep it stresses me out...I am thankful that I only have 6 months to go and then I don't have to go crazy over it!!
butterfly20
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
yes.......FH and i start thinking about the money, like 'oh we could buy a new car for the cost of the wedding'.
ChristineC68
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Towards the end of the planning when we totalled all of our wedding expenses & costs - my heart actually skipped a beat and then my stomach dropped Then we vowed never to do that again, we knew we had all the major things paid for and some extra so any additional expenses that came up we knew were covered.
jenny2penny
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
I think anyone who's paying for it have all been there. The cost of the wedding would be a nice down payment on a house. You only do this once. You'll make it work!
michele31
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
We went thru this during our planning too. I think a lot of self-paying couples go thru this panic. It is A LOT of money no matter which app you use or how you to try to look at it. I can tell you that we do not regret one penny we spent and I would never go back and change our plans due to fiances. You need to work within your means, and move money around to make your plans work. I will also caution you not to believe people when they tell you 'You will get it back with the gifts' . Some couples do and they are lucky. We had a 7 guest not show and never bother to send a gift, and many give, well, let us say a very understated amount. We did NOT make back the cost. So you need to make financial decisions based on the fact that you might never get that money back.
lorimari
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
LOL Lori - just wait until you are 3 months away and all the final payments are coming up.......you want to talk about freaking out LOL!!!!
Rule number 1 - never add all your bills together. Its a large sum of money and gets overwhelming. I did this once and started crying after I saw the number!!!! Now I keep everything separate and psychologically it looks better and more feasible.
Don't worry - it'll all work out!!!!
jannshari
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Every single moment of every single day. FH and I are paying for it all, and frankly, he makes a sh*tload more money than I do, so it would be more accurate to say that he's paying for most of it (although we all know that what's mine is mine and what's his is mine ). I take care of the finances at home now, pay all the bills, keep him on a weekly payment plan for contributing to the bills, and I basically had to tell him that he's going to have to fork over 2/3 of his paycheck every week so that we can pay the bills and pay for our wedding. At some point, I fear that he's going to get freaked out by it and just not give me money! I know he wouldn't, but it's still a fear. I can't afford to save any more money than I am (which is barely $500 a month), because I have a mortgage-size law school loan to pay off, so I worry that we'll start planning this wedding and something, G-d forbid, will happen to him and he won't be at his job anymore and we'll be left with no way to pay for things.
So extreme panic is not an unusual feeling for me (as my thread from last night that you responded to shows)...and I haven't even booked a place yet, hence, I have no actual wedding date! Gah!
WithThisRing
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Hi my name is Melissa and I am always stressed about money.
just relax.
i try not to get myself sick over it. FI and I have a savings account we dont touch that we nicknamed the wedding funds. Every other week when he gets paid he puts a certain amount of money directly from his check into the account. This way we never see it. Every little bit helps in saving.
We have a good amount saved and we just keep saving and saving. i of course get freaked at the thought of the bank account being gone next year, but ya never know. with all this savings we may have extra money somewhere.
just keep saving and try not to stress too much
julybride444
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
A new car? I could've bought 2, maybe 3!
It's ok, you'll be fine. Just don't let it get you so down that you don't enjoy the wedding planning or each other....
Oh, and remember, you will get gifts. We actually extended our credit (not on a traditional credit card w/high rates though-we did a balance transfer so we were paying 0 interest), and then the gifts covered what we extended. Edited to add: don't 'expect' gifts to cover your costs-they won't. They only covered the catering for us...but it could be less (or more) for you. So, don't over extend yourself unless you think you can pay it off yourselves (we could have paid it off within a year with or without gifts).
Jordan
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
I haven't felt the money panic yet - is there something wrong with me?!
Don't worry - you both will make it work for you...enjoy the planning and eachother - everything else will fall into place.
white-wolf
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
I feel panic almost on a daily basis. We recently put $ down on the hall and now I am freaked out thinking about how many other things we need to do and all the little wedding extras we are going to spend $ on.
I know in the end it will all work out, because it has to!!!!!!!!!!!
HappyEverAfter
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Just do what I did, hide the column that shows the total that you owe
Its so funny reading this, as I posted the same thing last year...now that we are less than three weeks away I can tell you that if you save, and budget, things will fall into place and it can be done!
Xelindrya
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
Just like Jannshari my fH and I are footing this bill. Reverse is true for me though. I make more than him. I'm paying for this wedding. I live by a budget. Every two weeks we are allowed $200 for gas/food/medications/lunch/etc.
I started freaking out about money two weeks after being engaged. I'm 14months out and according to budget, I'll contribute $9,000 cash. I'm still unsure where the rest is coming from, but dang it I will find a way!!!!
cluelessbride
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
I probably have a different opinion that most brides here. I think that if you are freaking out over paying for the wedding then you are paying too much. IMO, you should have the wedding that you can afford and not the wedding that will cause stress and worry over finances.
danigirl0
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
i think most of us are that boat! my wedding is relatively inexpensive and it still seems like al ot to me! and now that we are looing for aplace to live....ahh!! but my mom has always told me that you makeit work. and so far shes been right. i think we are all lucky to have each other here. i cant say i dont envy the couples who dont have to worry about this...but in a way its a good test of strenght for the couples who are struggling! good luck to you all!!
MrsTC
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oh geez you described my every day feeling!! yes - and I only have 6 weeks left. Panic is too casual of a word to describe it! LOL
but as everyone always tells me, it's worth it in the end!
Kathy116
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Re: money.. please make me feel better
I know how you feel! As you plan the wedding, you hear isolated prices....$9,000 for a band...ok, then $5,000 for a florist (hopefully...I still don't have one), $12,000 for this, $15,000 for that....
BUT WHEN you actually sit down and add ALL THE EXPENSES UP....WOW!!!!!! It's not too hard to hit a six figure wedding in NY!!
I was freaking out not too long ago, but FI assured me that it's all worth it.
