I think the days are long gone when you can really stick by the old rules of who's side pays for what. If you want to lessen your parents' financial burden, why don't you and your FH pick up the florist tab?
ditto...
my mom and FHs parents are helping where they can, and where they offer ... honestly we didnt expect any help, but we are taking what is offered! We are taking care of quite a bit of the tab ourselves!
ChristineAaron08
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Re: Money question...eww
You can maybe have FH talk to them, but I think the times of dividing it up that way are gone. Each side does not always pay an even amount in $/guests/whatever.
My parents gave us some $ (my dress and alts and accessories, basicaly) and we still have no idea what (if anything) his parents are giving us. We are basically paying for the whole thing ourselves.
MJDoc12
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Re: Money question...eww
Posted by AmandaLynn04
Honestly, you can't expect anyone to do anything for you. Be happy that they are giving you that much, a lot of people don't.
ditto--we paid for everything on our own, 100%. my parents gave a gift towards the end that helped, but otherwise we got zero from anyone but each other.
just focus on what you can afford realistically--and ignore what your friend said. i HATE when other ppl try and tell you 'well its SUPPOSED to be so and so who pays, didn't you know that? you should get them to pay!' your friend should just be happy that her family & inlaws are helping and shut up.
keep your CC debt down as the wedding draws closers, cause its easy to pull out the plastic when you want some wedding extras!
LeslieMike
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Re: Money question...eww
In my perfect world, My mom would pay for 1/3, FH's parents 1/3 and FH and I 1/3, but its not happening. Its my mom more than 1/2 and FH and I the rest. We opted out of having a rehearsal dinner so we could use that money toward our wedding, but his parents didnt want to that, and we still arent having one. What can you do! Im over it now, but it *****!
Totally know how you feel!!!
jgl
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Re: Money question...eww
i was thinking about this and just wondering why it hasnt always been split down the middle, instead of traditionally grooms parents paying for certain things...
but then I realized... why should they, if the guy had it his way i dont think most would opt for the big glamorous wedding with all the details some of us are adding into it. they would be happy with standing in front of a justice of the peace wearing their favorite team jersey its us girls who have to have the frilly wedding... if it werent for us weddings would cost $200
Times have changed, we just have to be happy and be lucky to have parents and or inlaws who can and choose to chip in some $ to help us out. and if they cant, we have to understand that as well.
yelley77
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Re: Money question...eww
Posted by florezpeeps
Posted by Espo22
Posted by yelley77
Although that is traditionally how it is done, as 2008 brides, we know that there isn't much tradition left when it comes to who pays what for the wedding. I would be thankful for what they are contributing (plane tickets can be pricey). I knwo you feel like your parents have laid out a ton of money and you are probably frustrated, but in the grand scheme of things, I still think you are making out good.
JMO
Yeah ALOT of girls on here are paying for EVERYTHING themselves with no help at all
Amen to that!!! We are paying for the bulk of it and our parents are helping with whatever they can and we appreciate every last penny of it!!! yep lol~
jessica08bride
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Re: Money question...eww
we're paying for everything ourselves and if someone offered to help pay for something, i would be so happy! I dont think i would be upset if one side was paying more than the other. i would think they each gave what they could with what they had. i would just be happy someone offered hehe...
Autumn08
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Re: Money question...eww
Honestly, it's your in laws money and they can choose how much and how they want to spend it. Those who pays for what traditionally books are very outdated. Today most brides and grooms pay for a good chunk of the wedding themselves.
Mici n KC
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Re: Money question...eww
Posted by yelley77
Although that is traditionally how it is done, as 2008 brides, we know that there isn't much tradition left when it comes to who pays what for the wedding. I would be thankful for what they are contributing (plane tickets can be pricey). I knwo you feel like your parents have laid out a ton of money and you are probably frustrated, but in the grand scheme of things, I still think you are making out good.
JMO
FH & I are paying for the entire thing ourselves. His parents are throwing us an e-party. My parents have offered some help, but I know it won't be much. I'm grateful for both sets of parents willing to contribute anything. Both my parents and FH's parents paid for their own weddings.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Money question...eww
Posted by jessica08bride
we're paying for everything ourselves and if someone offered to help pay for something, i would be so happy! I dont think i would be upset if one side was paying more than the other. i would think they each gave what they could with what they had. i would just be happy someone offered hehe...
I totally agree. I would love a little help!! You shouldn't be complaining when you are getting things for free lol.... I hear about a lot of girls whose families are throwing them lavish weddings and helping them and their FH buy a house. I wish FH and I had families who could afford to do things like that - but we don't and everything we do, we do on our own. We are even helping pay for our engagement party just because we wanted to have one. If you are lucky enough to get help you should enjoy it :) and the rest of us will pray we win the lottery hahahaha
Toucan311
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Re: Money question...eww
Traditions? What traditions! Most people pay for everything themselves! I'd be happy w/whatever help I got!
