Mother of all vents - the source for my anger

For you gals who don't make a lot of money or who have family taking advantage of you can really REALLY relate to this.

Okay i am off to the gym now and i am getting ready and my FSIL calls up and asks me about the guest list. I sent her a typed excel spread sheet a week ago along with my proofs for the std's and the std spread sheet print out for who is getting one.

Well she goes I heard you guys are spending this much per person and I thought since its not that expensive maybe I 'FSIL' can invite some friends. AHHHHHHHHHHH i knew this would backfire. NEVER NEVER tell people how much your hall is charging per person because they might see it has inexpensive and take advantage of you. My thing is if we get the list back down to 100 then we can invite 7 more couples to insure that we have 100 or less people at the wedding. FH and I are really freaking poor people. We spend our money to be with our friends or go out to shows but most of it is going to this wedding.

I actually had this happen to me at a store yesterday. This woman mentioned about how its nice that i allowed my fh to save the money on the ring to have a good wedding. I was in a snooty shop with my mom. I called the girl the c word (my favorite word) and said i hope she crashes her lexus in a tree and burns to death. (my mom was horrified but i laughed and walked out of the store). My parents kinda have money but never raised me to think that. They are nice to me but i never take advantage and no they are not paying for this wedding at all and we are fine with that.

SO now i know why i am angry about stamps, flowers, invites, etc. I am a simple gal who use to have purple hair, piercings all over, still raises her middle finger to most people and likes my beer and music, fh is a ex drummer who's parents died when he was 8 and then 13 and is angry at the world but loves me. We never thought we would get wrapped up in wedding planning or I never imagined I would be on a board constantly about weddings. FH and I don't make money and we really can't afford a big lavish expensive wedding and honestly if we could we really wouldn't spend a lot of money on a wedding we might of added $10k more on our budget.

SO thats it .. thats where my anger lies and it dawned on me today as i was going to the gym and FSIL had to call me up about adding more people and the incident yesterday. Its the fact i am angry that I am constantly being compared to other weddings and it hurts me. It really does hurt me. So accept that I can't have a $$$$ wedding but I can have our wedding still look and feel great and still be about us.

So moral of this story, even if your someone who thinks they are not effected by other peoples opinions there is a part of you that is. Everyone's feelings get hurt and as strong as you think you are it effects you. Don't take it out on everything around you - just figure the source of the problem verbally announce or address it and then move on. I have and now i am smiling again and really not given a second thought on what stamps to put on my silly std's which will be thrown out most likely IoI

yeah that is NOT cool at all!! people are ridiculous sometimes!! i am sorry you had to put up with that nonsense! even if the price per head seems low! you are inviting a lot of people!! so that mutliplied by the number of guests is still expensive! i dont want to be comprared to other people either....but it is hard not to be, unfortunatelyt. but dont worry...like you said...even if you are not spending a ton of $ your wedding will still be amazing. and possibly way more than you would have expected for yourself. that is how i feel! you are in a beautiful RH that to me, looks way more $$ than it actually is. i do not plan on sharing my price per head with anyone either. to me...even if i am spending $$...it will still look and feel like $$$$.

wait i know this isnt the whole point of your post - but the lady in the store just said that to you out of nowhere? do people really just say stuff like that?! wow i must be naive bc i would never think anyone could say that to a stranger.

anyway your FSIL sounds like a dingbat - dont be mad at the world, just be mad at the right people

your wedding is going to be amazing - bc it will be personalized and show your own personality!!!!

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Posted by cherish83

Wow! That is balzy!!! What would maker her think that she could invite her friends to YOUR wedding??? That takes a lot of nerve, regardless of the price!!

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well, its her brother's wedding as well, right? i mean, if she has one or two friends that have known her brother forever, i could understand it

Yea that woman just said it. I get many rude remarks given to me at certain shops. When i went to lord and taylor the girl came up to me when i was looking at a rack and said we have bigger sizes in the back. Okay i realize i am not skinny but that is just freaking rude. She even giggled about it which really pissed me off. I get negative remarks or security following me around in the stores i go to with my mom. I kinda expect it now but i am more sensitive if its about my ring or wedding.

Yea i should of explained this since my fh's parents are both dead he lived and was raised by his sisters both are much older then him. he went back and forth between their houses. SO its kinda like they want some of their friends invited just like a parent would. I really don't care so much if they want to invite people but she shouldn't use the line 'since it seems inexpensive enough to have more people ...' that ticked me off.

God Bless FSIL would of been in the ER tonight

I hate the sound of your post... You're so right about people - sometimes they just suck the life right out of you!

FH and I are not ricj nor are we dirt poor but I definitely get the same vibes that you get - especially b/c I always wear my hair up - very little make-up and dress down a lot. I am DREADING going dress shopping b/c I hate snooty people...

I hate to bring up your weight Jenn b/c I know weight is a sensitive issue but I definitely do NOT consider you heavy (and if I was just saying this to be nice why would I even bother touching on this topic...). I think you're beautiful actually. You have gorgeous skin, gorgeous hair, gorgeous eyes and a kicking figure... You don't realize how beautiful you are..

And stop with the imagining yourself on a wedding website wedding planning is freaking fun - not b/c of the 'elaborateness' and extravagance of weddings but b/c of the affordable things like DIYs!!! They're the best part!

Bravo to you for telling that girl off!

well said Jenn - you rock mama!!

when my sister was shopping for maternity clothes in bloomingdales a saleswoman said to her 'we have more affordable things in the 2nd floor' my sister (who is a VP at Morgan Stanley and not snobby AT ALL) said 'listen saleswoman, i can buy and sell you like a newspaper!'

(HER HORMONES GOT THE BEST OF HER THAT DAY!!LOL)

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READING going dress shopping b/c I hate snooty people...

I hate to bring up your weight Jenn b/c I know weight is a sensitive issue but I definitely do NOT consider you heavy (and if I was just saying this to be nice why would I even bother touching on this topic...). I think you're beautiful actually. You have gorgeous skin, gorgeous hair, gorgeous eyes and a kicking figure... You don't realize how beautiful you are..

Bravo to you for telling that girl off!

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Awe man i just shed a tear honestly. I don't find myself as a pretty girl and never would say so but i take your compliment graciously.

Thanks for everyone supporting me. FH never could understand why i am here and i told him it is not just for ideas or prices or finding vendors its for friends i do not have in real life. Even if its just a post its more then i have in life.. support. Thank you all!!

It is sooo hard, because I feel like everyone has an opinion and we are just sopposed to take it. (((sigh))).

I think you are right for standing up for yourself, dont know if I would have said the things about the crash but I get your point!

A security threat?!?!? You!?!? WHAT!?

Jenn said it best. (She IS the best, isn't she?!)

Your wedding is going to be amazing. I love it when you come and tell us your ideas. Especially because I hold a VERY special place in my heart for Ireland and for everything irish (especially guinness ). When you talk about doing the pint glasses or seed packets or anything else I find myself sitting here thinking about how awesome and fun your day is going to be!!!

Just remember, expensive and elaborate doesn't necessarily equal unique or beautiful. Your day is going to be special because of you guys!!!


PS - I love that you had the balls to call her a c-u-next- tuesday.

aww jenn your absolutly beautiful and i hate when people are nasty and i totally you for saying what you did to that stupid lady... sometimes people just dont think before they speak... i love the all your ideas for your wedding and its one of my tops to crash on this board (i guess its my irish coming out in me) and oh by the way i found a totally CUTE DIY centerpiece that i think you would love.. i just have to grab my camera and upload the pic for you!!!

Thank you everyone i am truly touched by the kindness.

tell her for her wedding she can invite her friends and that you want YOUR friends and close family there and want an intimate wedding...I know it hurts, but when the day comes none of this will be on your mind and you will have an amazing wedding just the way you want it to be.

All last week, i was yelled at for the music i picked and was told nobody will dance, that i was going too far, that i shouldn't do this or do that, i even had a bit of a breakdown as we were driving there bc my parents had half of the stuff and were running very late. Once it started none of that mattered anymore and everyone was happy with everything even the music. People just like to be part of it and sometimes they think by criticizing everything that it's their way to do so.

Dude seriously- FACK THEM!!!! Don't worry about what anyone else said...you guys are gonna have such a bash...don't let people bring you down...everyone's going to have a facking opinion...just do what you want...don't take sh!t from people...ur better than that....U don't have to have a pretty pretty princess wedding...its one day!!! Throw a kick a$$ party in your own friggin honor...you guys have earned it!!! You've been through enough!

My fav word is kant too I'm so glad u called her that...she totally deserved it. As far as the B!tch at the store...seriously, karma is a biotch....I would write a severely worded letter to L&T and complain about her and tell her that you WERE planning on buying all your bridal accessories and you MOTB dress, etc there but after being treated this way you are not and you have also shared your experience with brides on Long Island and suggested a boycott...she'll be fired

Good luck chick...don't let em get ya down....

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Posted by BubbasBride

Why would your fsil assume she could invite her friends to your wedding? umm, if you want to hang out with your friends in a social setting, throw your own party.

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my sister invited 3 of my friends to her wedding
same situation, i mean, i dont think anyone should assume anything but it is her brother's wedding too