Mother of all vents - the source for my anger

For you gals who don't make a lot of money or who have family taking advantage of you can really REALLY relate to this.

Okay i am off to the gym now and i am getting ready and my FSIL calls up and asks me about the guest list. I sent her a typed excel spread sheet a week ago along with my proofs for the std's and the std spread sheet print out for who is getting one.

Well she goes I heard you guys are spending this much per person and I thought since its not that expensive maybe I 'FSIL' can invite some friends. AHHHHHHHHHHH i knew this would backfire. NEVER NEVER tell people how much your hall is charging per person because they might see it has inexpensive and take advantage of you. My thing is if we get the list back down to 100 then we can invite 7 more couples to insure that we have 100 or less people at the wedding. FH and I are really freaking poor people. We spend our money to be with our friends or go out to shows but most of it is going to this wedding.

I actually had this happen to me at a store yesterday. This woman mentioned about how its nice that i allowed my fh to save the money on the ring to have a good wedding. I was in a snooty shop with my mom. I called the girl the c word (my favorite word) and said i hope she crashes her lexus in a tree and burns to death. (my mom was horrified but i laughed and walked out of the store). My parents kinda have money but never raised me to think that. They are nice to me but i never take advantage and no they are not paying for this wedding at all and we are fine with that.

SO now i know why i am angry about stamps, flowers, invites, etc. I am a simple gal who use to have purple hair, piercings all over, still raises her middle finger to most people and likes my beer and music, fh is a ex drummer who's parents died when he was 8 and then 13 and is angry at the world but loves me. We never thought we would get wrapped up in wedding planning or I never imagined I would be on a board constantly about weddings. FH and I don't make money and we really can't afford a big lavish expensive wedding and honestly if we could we really wouldn't spend a lot of money on a wedding we might of added $10k more on our budget.

SO thats it .. thats where my anger lies and it dawned on me today as i was going to the gym and FSIL had to call me up about adding more people and the incident yesterday. Its the fact i am angry that I am constantly being compared to other weddings and it hurts me. It really does hurt me. So accept that I can't have a $$$$ wedding but I can have our wedding still look and feel great and still be about us.

So moral of this story, even if your someone who thinks they are not effected by other peoples opinions there is a part of you that is. Everyone's feelings get hurt and as strong as you think you are it effects you. Don't take it out on everything around you - just figure the source of the problem verbally announce or address it and then move on. I have and now i am smiling again and really not given a second thought on what stamps to put on my silly std's which will be thrown out most likely IoI