Oh where do i start?? My mother has gotten me so upset today...she just doesn't get the fact that this is MY WEDDING! FH is paying for the entire thing, except for the photographer and dj, which my father is taking care of for me (parents divorced)... We are inviting about 225 guests...much more then I originally wanted, but FH has huge fam and we have a lot of good friends and co-workers that we would never feel comfortable not inviting. So anywhoo...my mother keeps bringing up her friends...I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE! No matter what I do, like yesterday when I wanted her to listen to the song that I chose to walk down the aisle to, she brings up her friends...'Oh I hope my friends can be there, oh my friends would love this'...I don't give a darn what your friends would love! I've already told her I don't know about inviting her friends, honestly I don't want to have to do introductions on my wedding day or have some annoying person trying to dance w/ me that I don't know! So today we are at the florist and I was picking out the breakaways for the bottom of my CP...The florist said to let her know how many couples and how many singles at each table so she knows how many we'll need...Mom goes 'oh definetly 12 for my single friends!' NO MOM, don't care about your friends! Personally....from what I do know about her friends, they are not my cup of tea...a bunch of older people thinking they are in thier 20s and annoying as all heck! I really don't want people I don't know at my wedding, especially when they are gonna cost me an extra $2000! My FH is furious because it seems no matter what, my mother turns this wedding into something of hers! She picked out the one dress that I hated her in amoung 20 others that looked gorgeous...she complains that I don't like her dress and how she already ordered it and now has to find something else...complains about her friends...blah blah blah!
Oh I am so upset and she doesn't get it...if I try to explain it to her she flips out! I can't take it!
Thanks for letting me rant!
Lucky0510
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Sounds like my mom. Always telling me about a bunch of her friends (people i have never met) and tells me all about their daughters weddings and how mine should be like theirs. She even suggested I get a country band to play at my wedding. I can deal with some country music... FH hates it lol ... shes rediculous. So I def feel your pain... have you tried talking to her about it?
luna bride x
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oh no! that su cks.. my mom passed but i have an annoying aunt who's like that.. oh it's gonna be on MY anniversary.. oh MY dress is gonna be so nice.. BLAH BLAH BLAH
try not to let it bother you. just remember they're old and it's their job to be a pain lol
MikeandJess
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are you sure we don't have the same mother? lol. My mom is doing the same thing and to make it worse, my dad is too! They're not paying for anything so I simply told them that if we invite their friends they have to pay for them. End of story.
Mich0621
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So sorry that you are being stressed out sweetie!
LVC8
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My FH had this problem with his mom, who insisted on inviting basically her entire office. He stood his ground for awhile, but eventually relented. My mom had some annoying guest list nazism as well, and I relented. So now we're having this much bigger wedding that we would have never planned initially, but what the hell. The more the merrier? Eh...
poisonivy918
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that's just like my grandmother. she is inviting 20 of her friends! I mean her, my mom, and my dad are all paying for the wedding but still. I rather be able to have our friends there, then strangers.
we actually had some of them call after recieving the save the date. asking who we were! so embarassing. my dad was like if she wants to see her friends, take them out to lunch not to a wedding. then she tries to convince us that they will give good gifts because they are older. I rather have friends and cheaper gifts, then older rich people who are strangers! I pray most of them don't come. I swear if one of them complains about the music being to loud, or something crazy we might do I'm gonna go nuts.
I wish it was my mom doing this, I can handle 40 year olds. 60 is a totally different thing. they think it's bad we're even living together right now! and oh yeah not a church wedding. *sighs* what I would do is say you want your friends? you pay! lol. extra 2g is a lot.
Mmnnng
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Posted by MikeandJess
are you sure we don't have the same mother? lol. My mom is doing the same thing and to make it worse, my dad is too! They're not paying for anything so I simply told them that if we invite their friends they have to pay for them. End of story.
LMAO! Thats too funny! She's driving me insane...What kind of music needs to be played for her friends, extra flowers for her friends, I haven't even given the ok that they can be invited yet!
I don't want these people there...shouldn't she be happy that her Brother and Sister who she hasn't seen in years are coming from out of town..isn't that enough to keep her occupied, why does she need these people I don't know!
Mmnnng
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Posted by Lucky0510
Sounds like my mom. Always telling me about a bunch of her friends (people i have never met) and tells me all about their daughters weddings and how mine should be like theirs. She even suggested I get a country band to play at my wedding. I can deal with some country music... FH hates it lol ... shes rediculous. So I def feel your pain... have you tried talking to her about it?
I've tried talking to her and she gets defensive and flips her lid or starts crying! I can 't take it! I don't want these people at my wedding....sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish, but she just doesn't get it...I do want to do introductions at my party that FH is paying for! Nor do I want these wanna be 20 something 60 year olds taking up my dance floor and making a fool of themselves @ my wedding!
ITS MY WEDDING! Oh mom tried to get me to get a band that her friends like...um, what about my friends!
I'm not even inviting my brother cause i can't trust him to be normal...why would I invite her friends?
FalNBill
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Im sure you know.... but I will post it agian just to ensure you that it's the right thing to do!
You need to tell her staright out- 'Mom I do not have the money to accomadate these people' Take it from there.... what could she possibly say? Unless she offers to pay for them, which im sure wont happen.... that should be end of story... If she has a problem with that, then tell her ::in a nice way which I know may be hard:: 'I really do not need this stress right now, I need you to be my mother and stand by me, not bash everything I do.'
Good luck,,,,,, Im sure things will work out in the end... just remember it's your day!
Mmnnng
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Posted by FalNBill
Im sure you know.... but I will post it agian just to ensure you that it's the right thing to do!
You need to tell her staright out- 'Mom I do not have the money to accomadate these people' Take it from there.... what could she possibly say? Unless she offers to pay for them, which im sure wont happen.... that should be end of story... If she has a problem with that, then tell her ::in a nice way which I know may be hard:: 'I really do not need this stress right now, I need you to be my mother and stand by me, not bash everything I do.'
Good luck,,,,,, Im sure things will work out in the end... just remember it's your day!
The only problem is that she knows how much FH makes and knows that money is not an issue, but I still don't want to be silly with money and spend it on things I don't want! For the extra $2200 for her friends, I can get my photo booth or something else that I love! She likes to bring up crap shes done for me in the past before I was on my own, but forgets now that she lives in my house and would be out on her butt if it wasn't for my FH paying her way for everything! It seems like shes never happy!
leshellem
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I hate to play devil's advocate, but almost all the weddings I have gone to, Parents will invite their friends. It's actually very common. Your mother herself has probably been to her friend's kids wedding and is expecting the same. Could you and your mom reach a compromise and have her invite six of her friends. She's proud of you and wants to share this with her friends.
Mmnnng
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Posted by leshellem
I hate to play devil's advocate, but almost all the weddings I have gone to, Parents will invite their friends. It's actually very common. Your mother herself has probably been to her friend's kids wedding and is expecting the same. Could you and your mom reach a compromise and have her invite six of her friends. She's proud of you and wants to share this with her friends.
These are not lifelong friends...those I have no problem with, they are invited! These are relatively new friends that I don't know! I've been to weddings where the parents' friends were there, but for the most part the parents contributed a great deal to the wedding! I've invited the people shes known forever that I grew up with or people shes worked with for a long time...thats perfectly understandable to me....but new friends? It feels like shes looking to have her own party at my wedding!
davenjess
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My Future MIL tried this - but my FH didn't let it happen. He told her point blank that there's no way we're inviting people we don't know. She didn't appreciate that we were inviting my parents' friends...and he had to tell her that we KNOW my parents' friends...and if it came down to it and we were freaking out money wise - my parents were perfectly willing to PAY FOR THEIR FRIENDS...which his parents flat out said no way to...
FUN FUN FUN...i literally have a prescription for Xanax to take when i know i'm going to see her..but once i take it - she doesn't bother me anymore..
