So, I finally got through to the Father today...background is I went to this church ( it's episcopal) for about 10-12 years with mom and sister ( sundays, parties, holidays) and since we moevd have been there mainly on holidays and they were nto happy with that ( its a 45 minutes ride and I go to school on sundays) ANYWAY< I call ( for the 5th time) today and talk to the Father and I give him our date and he says no, absoulutly not, it's during Lent...but I have been to weddings ( in catholic churchs) during lent? I started crying, I got so upset, the bm at the hall said he didnt think it would be a problem at all..now there is no way I can change my date... Any brides been to or had a lent wedding and where??
karen32
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
did you tell the church that you had already booked your hall??? that is a big no-no!!! the church gets VERY offended if they think you booked the hall before the church. i wonder if that is maybe why the priest is being unreasonable.
dm24angel
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I said we set a date, but didnt mention hall booking, never got that far...just surprises me the differences in the churches opinions and rules...episcopal is not very different then roman catholic, only no confession, same rules otherwise yet stricter it appears
ThePrincessBride
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I have a suggestion...I don't know if you can do this with the Episcopal Church, however I had several 'church issues' in the Roman Catholic Church, for example, I wanted to get married at a church when I didn't live in the parish's town boundaries and the woman in the rectory said absolutely not, the diocese sets the rules and they won't let us do that..so I called the diocese myself and they told me that wasn't true..you can but you have to do x, y, and z. So we did and we are getting married there. Perhaps there is a 'higher up' in the Episcopal church (someone who oversees the rules of all the churches) or maybe a higher up Father, you can call and find out if this is true or they are just being over controlling, which happens a lot. Good Luck and let us know.
OctGroom
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I'm sorry about that. I'm in a similiar situation.
My FW and I went to different reception halls and we thought... let's just have evrything in one place.. and I thought it was a great idea. We then started looking for places on the shore that weren't out of our ballpark.
So we found one.
We booked it.. put the deposit down. The whole nine yards.
I called a very good family friend who's a Catholic priest. And he said he couldn't do it.
I never thought of it not being possible for a priest to not be able to perform a Wedding outside a Church.
Now I haven't been to Church in a long time.. but I consider myself to be a conservative Catholic.. and to be honest.. and I hope this isn't offesnive to anyone.. but I want the ceremony to be performed by a priest still in line with Rome. My FW is Lutheran and I would not mind a Reverend and a Catholic priest.. but it's getting to the point where I may be backed against a wall, and will have to go with someone who WAS a priest.
THey're fine for some people... but I'm just a conservative Cathoilic. Maybe I should have known the rules of the Chruch.. but then again.. I think it's kinda silly that a priest won't celebrate a Wedding in God's country.
I hadn't heard about the situation you have run into. I hope you can find a resolution that makes you happy.
Sometimes I wonder.. why do the Churches have to make things so difficult?
dm24angel
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I'm sorry Oct you are in the same boat, let us know how it turns out, to be honest I havent been continued searching, I was upset too that I booked before knowing the rules , mainly because no one ever said to be this might be a problem and I didnt think it would be, but it will all work out...trust right???
Robeymuse
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I am getting married in an Episcopal Church. Our priest said the same thing about Lent (I originally wanted to be married in April). There has been some exceptions (two long standing members got married b/c she was a teacher and had to get married on Spring Break). Then again, he also didn't want to marry us on a Sunday but I got him to bend the rules on that!
neesiepie
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I know that a lot of churches frown upon being booked AFTER the hall....just for that reason alone, i think the Father was not pleased.... As far as Lent, it seems to be different for different churches, Some parishes are more strict than others.
If you REALLY have your heart set on the church, I would call the hall and tell them of your predicament and see if you can change the date as long as there is availability. Call them, it doesn't hurt to ask and you may be able to change your date at the hall without a major problem and all this panicking will be for nothing! GOOD LUCK and let us know how it goes, please!
dm24angel
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
The hall has no other dates in that price range, next open date is april and the prices go way up...Its ok, we will stay with the date and figure something out.. p.s the church didnt know we booked the hall first
neen
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I don't think that is right. I am sure they have weddings during lent??
tourist
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
Try another church- Some Episcopal churches take non-members.
And I have found with both Episcopla & Catholic chuches that the rules vary from church to church.
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I am episcopal as well and are getting married at the Cathedral of the Incarnation- they have REALLY strict rules - we were told right off the bat - NO weddings in advent OR Lent.
It seems it might be a diocese rule
ThePrincessBride
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I wonder if your halls prices were lower during lent because less people get married at that time because it isn't allowed in different religions. I don't know how much you put down on the hall yet but you should look at the contract and see what it says about cancellations. You should consider that if it isn't that much there are certain times of the year that can be so much less, you might be able to change halls, and even with losing your deposit come out ahead, i.e. There are places practically giving weddings away for 9-11, or if you get married within 6 mths when are dying to sell to anyone at price just to get something going on that date where they can make any money. I saved almost $50 a plate with my wedding. Just something to think about. Good Luck
SteffieSunshine1
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
Good luck!
Marisa&Brian
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I have NEVER heard of such a thing !! i'm going to a wedding Friday 3/26 - During Lent - AND the priest told my cousin he'd excuse the whole 'No meat on Friday' thing b/x it's such a 'special ocassion' - Can you speak to a different priest ?
dm24angel
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
We heard that it varies as well..and is 'old fashioned' ...we are looking into FH's church(Catholic)...we are not willing to change our date at this point and at the church I wanted there is just one Father ( and someone like a back up??) Thanks for all thoughts from you all!!!!!!
FrescaBride
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
HI There! Sorry to hear about that. Usually some churches have restrictions during Lent. They usually do not permit flowers from Lent starts until Easter Sunday. That's why some churches provide on Easter Sunday flowers and arrangements to the people that go to church that day. Roman Catholic Priests will not marry outside the church either. It is because the church is supposed to be the sacred place and because of the Eucharist. I'm quite sure you will be able to work something out. Don't worry....remember this...God Always Provides and Everything Works Out !!!
dm24angel
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
Well we are actually finding that very little churches are saying no and have not heard of flower restrictions at any but one so far...but we would like to stay with something we are familiar with...We are still talking about it with FH's church( catholic) and they have no problem with me being episcopal..just need to discuss more with them...
ThePrincessBride
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
That's great I hope it works out.
pschica
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
i just went to my firned's wedding last week during lentthis year....i guess its a chruch by church decision!
jam1223
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Re: MY church said NO!!!!
I'm so sorry! I was a BM in a wedding on friday and the only restriction they had because of it being lent was that you couldn't put flowers on the alter, so she put them at the bottom of the stairs instead. (this was a catholic church) Good Luck with your FH church!
