My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

JessicaM. Posted: Apr 29, 2005 10:51 AM

My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

is this weekend. he and his girlfriend just got engaged. I did not have an e-party (I may have a bbq family GTG in the summer).

Obviously I have to give him a gift, but it stands to reason that my G'parents, aunts and uncles will give him one too....

I hate to be a baby (and greedy!!) but WHAT ABOUT ME! he's not even paying for his....his mom is ($$$$$$$)

I will be seeing most of my family for the first time since my engagement....do you think it will occur to them that i am engaged TOO! and could use some HELP!

I don't ever expect it (I never get it) but when it is kind of in my face....I can't help it!

sorry girls! venting on a Friday suks!

P.S. they havent' registered anywhere...what is an appropriate $$ gift from me and FH?

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Apr 29, 2005 11:06 AM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

Hmm.. thats a tough one. Maybe you will be pleasantly suprised and will get some gifts from the family. Do they know you are not going to have one?
I would say an appropriate gift is 50-75 dollars.

cindyandkevin Posted: Apr 29, 2005 11:50 AM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

We didn't have an e-party either, but still got some gifts from close relatives. I think some people just don't think of these things unless there's an actual party. I've worked for my company for the past 6 years, FI and I met here and after we got engaged no one did anything. Another girl has worked here about 9 months and got engaged a month after us but bc she had an e-party they passed a card around and were all giddy for her. I'm like, you people did nothing for me and FI and you know the both of us, but you do something for her. I didn't want to take anything out on her, I just wanted the equal congratulatory attention that she received.

cjb88 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 11:51 AM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

i know my family didnt give us any gifts right away... they were waiting to see if we were goign to have an e-party or any type of get together...

also, techincally, according to etiquitte, presents arent mandatory for e-parties or engagements...

JessicaM. Posted: Apr 29, 2005 12:03 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

I know....I hate being a brat or even feeling like this...normally I never do....but no one has offered ANYTHING....but my sister had her wedding paid for (much smaller in scale, but STILL) whatever...it's fine.

I would never take anyone's joy from them, and I want to celebrate them and get them a gift because I am genuinely happy...and my family is really nice...but I am the oldest of like 15 first cousins and have never relied on them for anything...I guess they just assume I will handle it...

ok...enough venting...anyway, I will finally get to wear my BEAUTIFUL dress that I bought for PEANUTS in Portugal last summer!

Kerrycec Posted: Apr 29, 2005 12:13 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

I say have a party then.

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: Apr 29, 2005 12:28 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

hey jessica,

i know exactly how you feel. I have not yet received a gift from anyone! it feels kinda bad. just a small gesture that people know i am alive would be appreciated. now my moh is engaged and i am sure i will get her a present even though she did not think to get me one. oh well, i guess bottom line is people only care about themselves!

if you can, have a party and then you will def get gifts :)

sorry u feel bad

sarahthegreat Posted: Apr 29, 2005 12:39 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

i say be the bigger person and give them a check for a small-ish amount, $50 or so, less then $100. don't be the brat that, its not worth it. and i completely understand that you are aggrivated about the situation, i'm sure he thinks that he is the only one in the family getting married.

iffer042373 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 12:58 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

I understand you girl I would be a little upset to that my family is making a big deal about this and not about yours. Also I haveto agree with some of the other post some people don't realize it and will forget aabout the gifts unless there is a party of some sort.
Maybe just throw together a BBQ over the summer.

Preshy7 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 01:00 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

i feel you
why not have your bbq sooner? also - id probably give $100 as an engagement gift. i am sure you will get it back in the long run.

also - your fam should give you both gifts- engagement party or not.

VogueBride Posted: Apr 29, 2005 01:16 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

i understand where yur coming from....if i were you i might throw in here and there....we might have an eparty in the summer....casually of course!! and i think 50ih would be sufficient

leese Posted: Apr 29, 2005 01:22 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

I bet they are waiting for your party. That's what most of my family did!

sarahbelle Posted: Apr 29, 2005 01:24 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

Posted by leese

I bet they are waiting for your party. That's what most of my family did!

I was thinking the same thing. We didn't/haven't had an e-party, but we got a few gifts when FMIL sent out engagement announcements. Your family might be waiting to see if you have an e-party.

conigs25 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 02:39 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

Im the 3rd of cousins to get engaged and Im def. not having an engagemt party so i know what you mean9 the other 2 cousins did have one). But i truly dont care. My cousins made some extra cash and I didnt. Oh well!! Its not about $ and if thats the reason your cuz is having an engagemt party- well he has bigger issues. Engagemt parties should be gift-less. Its supposed to be a time to celebrate a happy moment. Not a money making move.

Kiddo115 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 02:52 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

We haven't had a party yet either.. we received so many wonderful cards from people special to us. BUT one person who has said/done nothing about our engagement is FH's father. He didnt' even offer to take us to dinner or anything, or even congratulate us. He's so strange! Sorry to sound like a brat, but he bothers me!!!

JessicaM. Posted: Apr 29, 2005 03:25 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

Let me say that I am not looking for a money making event...if that were the case I would just charge admission. Neither is my cousin...he could care less, even though his mom is very well off (his sisters are another story)

I guess my point is not that I want money or gifts per se, but the recognition that comes ALONG with them.

I am already hosting one party for people to share in my joy and excitement...I guess I was hoping for someone to extend it WITHOUT me having to provide dinner and entertainment!

But perhaps you are right, maybe I will be presently surprised....if I am, I will let you know!

Thanks (at leat you guys are excited for me!!)

Kiddo115 Posted: Apr 29, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

Don't worry, we're excited for you!!! Thats' why we are all on here 24/7!
But I definitely understand you liking the recognition of your engagment! Some people in FH's family don't even know we are getting married, cause they are on his dad's side. I'm starting to think he's not so happy for us.

DrBeLLaRoSe Posted: Apr 29, 2005 05:54 PM

Re: My cousins E-Party- sort of vent!

That is exactly the point!!!
it is not about the money but about the recognition. A little card would do. Maybe someone giving you a bridal magazine. One of my friends gave me about 6 pink roses. My other friend sent me a card in the mail. one friend gave me 2 bridal magazines. and fh's friends took us out for a steak dinner. all those little thing were so nice. But still it hurts that close family has done absolutely nothing. I will be the bigger person and recognize their engagements when the time comes, but it will be hard to forget that they could not take the time out to do a little something