Ok this came up yesterday, and I was wondering if i am weird for it. Dh knows this fear very well but still thinks im crazy for it haha.
Ok you know how ppl have a fear of flying, i have no problem with this but i have a horrible fear of being in a car with someone else driving. I think some ppl dont realize how bad it is for me, and just think I dont like getting in the car with others. But its so bad that if i have to get in the car with someone and i know this in advance, i am horribly nervous all day, i get sick to my stomach and just very scared. This is such a problem that I RARELY get in the car with someone else driving and i usually do the driving. I find excuses not to and to drive myself. Everyone thinks how nice i am because i always offer to drive everywhere lol and not that i am not nice but this is the reason why I do. It always worked out since i can go out and not drink so i always offered to be the designated driver. Even with my dad, i cant stand to get in the car with him. For years whenever i had to get in a car with my dad i would always ask to drive instead of him. There are some ppl i refuse to get in a car with them and wont do it no matter what. Theres actually very few ppl i do get in the car with. And even then i am nervous many times. my heart will beat so fast the whole time, i get so sick to my stomach theres been times i thought i was gonna puke, and i am scared for my life the whole time. I do trust DH luckily but i think it has to do with the fact that with DH i can yell at him and say 'calm down' watch the sign, stop pulling stupid moves, cant do that with everyone. I think theres only a handful of ppl i trust if that.
Its so bad that i work things out so i always drive, or find ways not to get into someone elses car. We went to dinner for a friends bday yesterday and dh's friend said he'll drive, all day i was so nervous, then luckily Dh had to stop by his parents house first so he said we'll drive and meet them there.
am i the only one? i really think i am.
Future Mulligan
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
my mom is like this denise, she is really bad, doesnt even let my dad drive.....there have been times that she didnt have a car - like 2 weeks ago for my shower when she came up to visit - and she has to take xanax before she gets in the car with other people.....it can be annoying though, because she always has to comment about other peoples driving - like in a negative way, even if they drove perfectly, sometimes it really annoys me but i think that is because its my mom you know how your parents can do things that especially annoy you hahahaha
im the opposite, i hate driving other people around, its not that i dont like driving - i love to drive if im alone, but driving other people around, i hate that - it makes me nervous....so im the opposite
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Future Mulligan
my mom is like this denise, she is really bad, doesnt even let my dad drive.....there have been times that she didnt have a car - like 2 weeks ago for my shower when she came up to visit - and she has to take xanax before she gets in the car with other people.....it can be annoying though, because she always has to comment about other peoples driving - like in a negative way, even if they drove perfectly, sometimes it really annoys me but i think that is because its my mom you know how your parents can do things that especially annoy you hahahaha
im the opposite, i hate driving other people around, its not that i dont like driving - i love to drive if im alone, but driving other people around, i hate that - it makes me nervous....so im the opposite
most ppl i dont say things to. I do say things to DH, or ill say something to my dad. If i am in the car with others i keep my mouth shut and just suffer the only time i'll say something is if i HAVE to lol. I remember one time somebody was staying in a lane that was about to end, and im sitting there like 'ok they'll go over theyll notice' they didnt lol but i calmly said 'this lane is ending' the person just laughed and said OMG i didnt even realize hahah.
Hmmm interesting that you hate driving others around. Do you think its bc your mom is critical of how others drive that you feel others will be the same way with you and since you know your mom gets nervous with others, you hate feeling that pressure from others too.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
denise I sometimes feel this way also..especially when my dh drives (he scares the crap out of me! lol) but I'm not sure my fear is as extreme as yours..But its a known fact that people feel more comfortable when they are driving, themselves because they feel things are more in their control..When you are in a car with someone else you feel less in control and therefore more scared..So i think this is perfectly normal
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
denise I sometimes feel this way also..especially when my dh drives (he scares the crap out of me! lol) but I'm not sure my fear is as extreme as yours..But its a known fact that people feel more comfortable when they are driving, themselves because they feel things are more in their control..When you are in a car with someone else you feel less in control and therefore more scared..So i think this is perfectly normal
thank you kristin for making me feel normal hahaha
yeah i was looking it up since future pepper said there were sites about this. Seems like i am not the only one, theres even this DVD that is called 'fear of being a car passenger' it helps you with this fear. Maybe ill buy it, they say theres hypnotism too, not too sure about that.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
denise I sometimes feel this way also..especially when my dh drives (he scares the crap out of me! lol) but I'm not sure my fear is as extreme as yours..But its a known fact that people feel more comfortable when they are driving, themselves because they feel things are more in their control..When you are in a car with someone else you feel less in control and therefore more scared..So i think this is perfectly normal
thank you kristin for making me feel normal hahaha
yeah i was looking it up since future pepper said there were sites about this. Seems like i am not the only one, theres even this DVD that is called 'fear of being a car passenger' it helps you with this fear. Maybe ill buy it, they say theres hypnotism too, not too sure about that.
yep ...its a lot more common than you think! I learned about this in psychology classes in college!!!
jeffamanda080808
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
I must admit I did not read all the responses. But I personally...hate driving with other people. But my big thing is... I am deathly afraid of tunnels and bridges, if I am a passenger. If I am the driver, I can drive over or through just about anything. When I am a passenger for tunnels or bridges, I sweat, my heart rate rises, and I get a ringing in my ears that is so painful. When I go to Atlantic City with my mother....I drive over all the bridges then she takes over in NJ.
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by jeffamanda080808
I must admit I did not read all the responses. But I personally...hate driving with other people. But my big thing is... I am deathly afraid of tunnels and bridges, if I am a passenger. If I am the driver, I can drive over or through just about anything. When I am a passenger for tunnels or bridges, I sweat, my heart rate rises, and I get a ringing in my ears that is so painful. When I go to Atlantic City with my mother....I drive over all the bridges then she takes over in NJ.
someone else on here posted about their fear of bridges. Dh is afraid of bridges too, he said it started when he was a kid. He acts normal though when we drive over bridges so i didnt know for a while until he told me but he says it still scares him a bit.
ant n tilde
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
denise I sometimes feel this way also..especially when my dh drives (he scares the crap out of me! lol) but I'm not sure my fear is as extreme as yours..But its a known fact that people feel more comfortable when they are driving, themselves because they feel things are more in their control..When you are in a car with someone else you feel less in control and therefore more scared..So i think this is perfectly normal
thank you kristin for making me feel normal hahaha
yeah i was looking it up since future pepper said there were sites about this. Seems like i am not the only one, theres even this DVD that is called 'fear of being a car passenger' it helps you with this fear. Maybe ill buy it, they say theres hypnotism too, not too sure about that.
yep ...its a lot more common than you think! I learned about this in psychology classes in college!!!
and it makes so much sense why i hate driving. . .bc i dont trust myself to have control. . . i always trust other people more! i am very dependent on others and just assume they will know better than me - and it transfers over to my driving. . .
lizzie217
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
I have a friend who is like this...I never realized it but one day my other friend was driving...she asked her to pull over and asked to drive her car...she said she gets car sick unless shes driving...I had never noticed it but my friend is ALWAYS the driver...it made sense after she told us so your not alone
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by ant n tilde
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Mrs. V 2008
denise I sometimes feel this way also..especially when my dh drives (he scares the crap out of me! lol) but I'm not sure my fear is as extreme as yours..But its a known fact that people feel more comfortable when they are driving, themselves because they feel things are more in their control..When you are in a car with someone else you feel less in control and therefore more scared..So i think this is perfectly normal
thank you kristin for making me feel normal hahaha
yeah i was looking it up since future pepper said there were sites about this. Seems like i am not the only one, theres even this DVD that is called 'fear of being a car passenger' it helps you with this fear. Maybe ill buy it, they say theres hypnotism too, not too sure about that.
yep ...its a lot more common than you think! I learned about this in psychology classes in college!!!
and it makes so much sense why i hate driving. . .bc i dont trust myself to have control. . . i always trust other people more! i am very dependent on others and just assume they will know better than me - and it transfers over to my driving. . .
hmmm very interesting, i guess our driving personalities show how we are in other parts of life too.
emomma17
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by lizzie217
I have a friend who is like this...I never realized it but one day my other friend was driving...she asked her to pull over and asked to drive her car...she said she gets car sick unless shes driving...I had never noticed it but my friend is ALWAYS the driver...it made sense after she told us so your not alone
yeah its not something you tell ppl whose driving you dont trust. You dont want to say ' i am afraid of your driving' haha. Because they wont understand its not just them but most ppl so you dont want to offend anybody. But yeah i use excuses too, and sometimes in my head i believe the excuses. Such as well if i want to leave early i dont want to depend on anybody, or if i dont want to leave i dont want to be forced to leave early. Or i think of something. The car sick part was good good excuse. I think many ppl i know would be surprised. They just mostly think that i LOVE driving and I do love driving but they dont realize it also has to do with me not being able to get in the car with others.
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by emomma17
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
thats a good reason though. You hate depending on others and like to do things when you want to do it. Makes alot of sense.
emomma17
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
thats a good reason though. You hate depending on others and like to do things when you want to do it. Makes alot of sense.
Yeah def. I think as well because when i was younger and my anxiety attacks were worse I would have to leave a majority of the time because of it and part of that has stuck in my head. That is why I love being the drive, it's a mental thing for me.
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by emomma17
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
thats a good reason though. You hate depending on others and like to do things when you want to do it. Makes alot of sense.
Yeah def. I think as well because when i was younger and my anxiety attacks were worse I would have to leave a majority of the time because of it and part of that has stuck in my head. That is why I love being the drive, it's a mental thing for me.
OH that makes alot of sense definitely. For me its mental and physical. I feel the exact same way you feel about what you said that you hate having to do things just bc you are depending on this person now since they drove. But i also get physically sick and become terrified when someone else drives.
emomma17
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
thats a good reason though. You hate depending on others and like to do things when you want to do it. Makes alot of sense.
Yeah def. I think as well because when i was younger and my anxiety attacks were worse I would have to leave a majority of the time because of it and part of that has stuck in my head. That is why I love being the drive, it's a mental thing for me.
OH that makes alot of sense definitely. For me its mental and physical. I feel the exact same way you feel about what you said that you hate having to do things just bc you are depending on this person now since they drove. But i also get physically sick and become terrified when someone else drives.
Are you a bad passanger? What I mea is like my mom if she is in the car with me and I am driving she tries to brake, puts her hands out when I go to stop, holds her breath if I am close to a car or changing lanes. I think it's partially because she doesn't drive so it's hard for her to understand the road.
Espo22
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by emomma17
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
Posted by Espo22
Posted by emomma17
No I am the same exact way! I think my fear more so for doing it is because if i get there and I want to leave I want to know that I can go when I want and not have to rely on someone else or have to wait until they want to leave. It is probably a terrible way of thinking but that is why 99% of the time I drive!
thats a good reason though. You hate depending on others and like to do things when you want to do it. Makes alot of sense.
Yeah def. I think as well because when i was younger and my anxiety attacks were worse I would have to leave a majority of the time because of it and part of that has stuck in my head. That is why I love being the drive, it's a mental thing for me.
OH that makes alot of sense definitely. For me its mental and physical. I feel the exact same way you feel about what you said that you hate having to do things just bc you are depending on this person now since they drove. But i also get physically sick and become terrified when someone else drives.
Are you a bad passanger? What I mea is like my mom if she is in the car with me and I am driving she tries to brake, puts her hands out when I go to stop, holds her breath if I am close to a car or changing lanes. I think it's partially because she doesn't drive so it's hard for her to understand the road.
oh i air brake lol its real bad and i dont even notice when i do it sometimes. It drives DH crazy but he also laughs at me that i do it. I do hold on to the handle sometimes too. And i do say things many times, iwill say SLOW DOWN, watch that car, or telling dh to calm down. BUt i mostly do this to him. With others i really try to watch myself and i never yell at others only DH and my dad hahaha. I also watch my actions and try not to show that i am nervous and for the most part i do ok most of the time with making sure i dont do those things. Its so funny but all those things you wrote, i do to DH. I know it drives him crazy but i make sure not to yell now bc i understand being a driver you dont need someone to yell, it can make it worse and you can startle them so bc of me being scared of startling them i dont yell anymore.
Its funny also bc my mom doesnt drive but she has no fear at all, my dad scares me the most but ppl can drive fast and pull crazy moves and she doesnt get scared at all. meanwhile me who drives all the time gets very scared and does all those things.
sophisticat13
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Posted by Espo22
Posted by Future Pepper
09er crashing This is an interesting fear. When you were younger did you have a bad experience as a passenger in a car? Have you always been afraid of driving with other people? What about in adolescence when you didn't drive - were you scared of taking the bus or a train? Or did the fear only go as far as being a passenger in someone's vehicle? I have an interest in phobias (I don't know why) but that's why I ask so many questions. Have you ever spoken to a professional about this? It seems your anxiety is something that can be eased by talking about it and laying out the real dangers of being a passenger in a car versus what you're really afraid of. Do you ever get scared of driving personally?
i was in one car accident when i was about 17 years old, i didnt get hurt, nobody else did infact. But my fear did kinda start after that from what i remember. Which i wonder why since i didnt even have a scratch on me. BUT somebody drove MY car for 1 block and crashed it but before this i didnt have problems, i used to get in the car with crazy drivers but i also dont know if its just bc when you are younger you have less fear and dont think about things like this as much, or maybe it does all have to do with that one event.
never been afraid of taking a train, bus i rarely took but wasnt afraid. I am afraid in cabs but then again they drive like maniacs.
when i drive, i have no fear at all and the funny thing is that I LOOOVE driving. The thing is that when i drive i am in control but when someone else is driving i think, ok do they see the person whose about to cut them off. Or somebody is breaking and why are you still accelerating, are you going to break soon? i think these things.
I think those same exact things too but I don't have the same fear. I agree with Songstress, I think it is a loss of control issue. If it really bothers you I would go see a therapist...they can help you work through this fear. If it doesn't bother you this much, take comfort in the fact that there are definitely others who have the same fear like one of the previous posters wrote previously I have a friend who has flying phobia and has never been in a plane since she was a child. I dated someone a long time ago whose mother and sister would not drive. I have at least one student every year who has school phobia...(to be honest I think this stems more from the parents than the child but that's another post haha). So many of us have fears of something or another...just human I think
Soon2beAlberti
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
well i can't say i share that fear...but ...my fear is of people or things touching my neck...especially collarbone area. it freaks me out...and i cringe and get all spazztic...i almost get panic attacks over it. i'm not the kind of person that has alot of things wrong withthem or is a hypochondriac or has mental issues. i don't take meds...i barely go to the doctor ever...but this is the one thing that i really cannot control. its embarrasing...because its enough to bring me to my knees or make me cringe and make weird noises like a retard.
even FH has to take his time and let me know hes going to do it. we've practiced it because i want him to be able to touch me and I know if theres anyone who can help me get over it he can. he has seen my panic attacks and he helps me breathe through it and he proceeds slowly...just to get me used to it.
BNBride60
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Re: My fear! am i the only one?
Denise I have this exact same fear. But I know a reason - I was the passenger in a bad car accident when I was 17 and I was the most hurt of all the people involved in the accident. My top lip was swollen to the point where it looked like it had a golf ball in it. My nose was completely skinned and bleeding (airbag burn) and I had a long cut all across my forehead, and another airbag burn underneath my right eye (it looked exactly like the shape of a black streak under a baseball player's eye). After that it was almost impossible for me to be a passenger with anyone. Luckily for me, DH is the most careful driver I know so I have no problem being in the car with him. But anyone else, especially a person I don't know - that makes me sick.
