my friend got the 'will you be my bridesmaid cookie' *updated w/ a question*

Well if he's being invited, why wouldn't he be able to go? Is it an issue with his job?

IMO if you want to attend a wedding, you figure things out. Maybe it's the NYC in me, but the fear of travelling alone on a freakin' MetroNorth train is just a pansy@ss cop-out.

---

Posted by brittndave

what if you invite her with a guest, not specifically her bf so if something does happen she can bring someone else with her?

or does she know your parents? can she ride with them, or ride up there with you? just to get a ride there, and then do her own thing with the bp when she gets there..

---

I suggested those things; I think she's worried about if she can't find someone to go with? I'm not 100 percent sure

ETA: FH & I are going up like 3 days before everyone else, so I can see why she wouldn't want to come with us.

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Well if he's being invited, why wouldn't he be able to go? Is it an issue with his job?

IMO if you want to attend a wedding, you figure things out. Maybe it's the NYC in me, but the fear of travelling alone on a freakin' MetroNorth train is just a pansy@ss cop-out.

---

No he works M-F, and the wedding is Sat night, so I'm not really sure why.

---

Posted by kerber981

Does it seem like she's being honest about the reason or could it be something she doesn't want to admit ie: not having the $

---

I don't THINK that's it; I do think that she would tell me if it was $$

if you have already offered her a ton of options and nothing seems to even be a possibility then i hate to say it but to be honest it kind of seems like she doesn't really want to go

Where in CT is your wedding? could she take the ferry and then have someone pick her up on the other side?

I think it's a very odd response...I would wait possibly a week or so before I followed up.

---

Posted by brittndave

if you have already offered her a ton of options and nothing seems to even be a possibility then i hate to say it but to be honest it kind of seems like she doesn't really want to go

---

I appreciate the honesty; I think there's a possibility that you are right...hmmm

---

Posted by JayBee216

Where in CT is your wedding? could she take the ferry and then have someone pick her up on the other side?

I think it's a very odd response...I would wait possibly a week or so before I followed up.

---

It's in branford---fairly ferry friendly

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by JayBee216

Where in CT is your wedding? could she take the ferry and then have someone pick her up on the other side?

I think it's a very odd response...I would wait possibly a week or so before I followed up.

---

It's in branford---fairly ferry friendly

---

Ok - I think since everything is so vague and you were so sweet about sending the cookie and everything, you should just give her a call and flat out ask her what the deal is. If she doesn't like traveling alone and that's her reason, then offer all of the situations everyone has suggested.

If it's money, then oh well. Ask her if she'd still come as a guest.

---

Posted by JayBee216

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by JayBee216

Where in CT is your wedding? could she take the ferry and then have someone pick her up on the other side?

I think it's a very odd response...I would wait possibly a week or so before I followed up.

---

It's in branford---fairly ferry friendly

---

Ok - I think since everything is so vague and you were so sweet about sending the cookie and everything, you should just give her a call and flat out ask her what the deal is. If she doesn't like traveling alone and that's her reason, then offer all of the situations everyone has suggested.

If it's money, then oh well. Ask her if she'd still come as a guest.

---

Agreed, but I wouldn't ask right away. I'd give it about a week. This way, she's got some time to think about her travel options as well. If you call her today or tomorrow, it's almost like you'll be super defensive if you say something like 'well you could get here (this way) (that way) (the other way)'...know what I mean?

Okay so I dont want to be mean but, if my friend gave a response like that I would tell her to forget it. I don't drive and I hate to travel by myself but I would most def do it for my friend. I dont know her so I won't judge her but ................

This shouldnt ruin your friendship with her , it should just make you look at how much he values your frienship.

---

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

---

Posted by JayBee216

---

Posted by JAAMS

---

Posted by JayBee216

Where in CT is your wedding? could she take the ferry and then have someone pick her up on the other side?

I think it's a very odd response...I would wait possibly a week or so before I followed up.

---

It's in branford---fairly ferry friendly

---

Ok - I think since everything is so vague and you were so sweet about sending the cookie and everything, you should just give her a call and flat out ask her what the deal is. If she doesn't like traveling alone and that's her reason, then offer all of the situations everyone has suggested.

If it's money, then oh well. Ask her if she'd still come as a guest.

---

Agreed, but I wouldn't ask right away. I'd give it about a week. This way, she's got some time to think about her travel options as well. If you call her today or tomorrow, it's almost like you'll be super defensive if you say something like 'well you could get here (this way) (that way) (the other way)'...know what I mean?

---

Oh def def, I'll def wait at least a week to ask again. I THINK she'll probably just tell me but just in case

If someone tells you they are not sure, I would say thanks anyway.

I have been thrilled/honored/delighted/excited every time I have been in a wedding, and she will be nothing but a problem for you, IMO, going forward, if she's not into it.

I think ultimately that you have to decide if you really want her in your wedding. Will she be able to come to your shower (are you having only one? I know some people who have had up to 3 because of the location of everything -- I was in that wedding and I went to 2 out of 3 showers... But other BMs didn't come to ANY and the bride was really hurt bc she wasn't involved at all).

I think you need to consider your feelings and potential issues now and in the coming 9 months or so until your wedding. This is an important day for YOU and you want the people in your wedding who are going to be there to support that (and YOU) the most!!

On the other hand, it could just be 'silly' stuff like money issues, or being uncomfortable, or even just traveling alone. Idk what her bf does for work, but he has a bit of notice to put in for some time off!! Wait a while, let her weight it out, let yourself sort it out (so you know what you'll say if she does say no)... and then get back to us!!!!!

Sorry this is so long. I get type-happy when I'm at a keyboard!!!

JAAMS!! Listen to me.. if her response is that she's not sure, then she's isn't a good friend!! I really think that if she wanted to be a part of it, she would have accepted the invitation hands down!!

If it was me, i would have accepted it on the spot!! There is no excuse in the world!! There are so many different types of transportation out there!!

How old is she?

---

Posted by Noelsgirl

JAAMS!! Listen to me.. if her response is that she's not sure, then she's isn't a good friend!! I really think that if she wanted to be a part of it, she would have accepted the invitation hands down!!

If it was me, i would have accepted it on the spot!! There is no excuse in the world!! There are so many different types of transportation out there!!

How old is she?

---

24, almost 25 at wedding time