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Posted by Mici n KC
Wow that would get to me too. Just stop telling her anything period. There is nothing else you can do. Oh I would reply to that email saying, 'Nice copy and paste!'
Posted by NapaValleyGirl
I had a similar situation and I just stopped telling this person my ideas.
She bought my wedding dress before I bought it. That was the last straw.
Then she had the nerve to tell me that she thought that 'any dress under 4k was made poorly.'
I said to her 'my friend got a dress at david's bridal and she looks beautiful. How dare you make a stupid comment like that.'
Stop telling her things OR tell her the opposite and see what she does. heee heee heeee
Posted by MayWeddingGrl
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It is rough to have all these great ideas and then have someone use them as their own. I would be pretty P-Oed too if someone started to take all my ideas and use them. I think when it comes down to it, she's probably an insecure person and is jealous of you and FH. Otherwise, why would be make it a point to try to top you.
Asking her to not be apart of the wedding party can be tough though since your FH and her FH are friends... it might end up affecting your relationship after both of you have gotten married. I would just let the other BMs know the deal and keep on doing what you are doing. Don't let her ruin your day!
Posted by madseason
Hey hun - May I be completely honest with you -
Think about it for a minute - you are friends right? And friends usually like the same things and compliment eachother.
When it comes to a wedding - you have to remember that as a bride - just because you do something, doesnt mean that she cant.
Yes, it stinks. It really does. But what can you do about it. Seriously - I dont mean to come down as harsh - but you need to think realisticly about this. Your weddings are NOT going to be the same. Same vendors or venues yea maybe - but i promise you they will be completely different!!
Friends need to support eachother - and there is alot to lose here. I regret losing friends throughout this process....and its not worth it. Not in the least. Theres a lot more to a wedding then vendors and churches and halls...and I really think you need to be mature about this and move past it. She is going to do whatever she wants - as she should she is getting married an is entitled to everything the rest of us have. Just as You are too!!!![]()
Theres alot of stress and things coming at you from all directions right now. Take a step back, a deepbreath, and resume planning your biggest day and stop worrying about hers!
CHalk it up to good taste and flattery - but you cant stop someone from doing things, as much as it may stink. But really just relax - and let this blow over. THere are going to be many more things that as the day approaches that are going to rightfully stress you out - and need your attention. Just focus on the day you dreamed of.![]()
Posted by ETurner
Posted by madseason
Hey hun - May I be completely honest with you -
Think about it for a minute - you are friends right? And friends usually like the same things and compliment eachother.
When it comes to a wedding - you have to remember that as a bride - just because you do something, doesnt mean that she cant.
Yes, it stinks. It really does. But what can you do about it. Seriously - I dont mean to come down as harsh - but you need to think realisticly about this. Your weddings are NOT going to be the same. Same vendors or venues yea maybe - but i promise you they will be completely different!!
Friends need to support eachother - and there is alot to lose here. I regret losing friends throughout this process....and its not worth it. Not in the least. Theres a lot more to a wedding then vendors and churches and halls...and I really think you need to be mature about this and move past it. She is going to do whatever she wants - as she should she is getting married an is entitled to everything the rest of us have. Just as You are too!!!![]()
Theres alot of stress and things coming at you from all directions right now. Take a step back, a deepbreath, and resume planning your biggest day and stop worrying about hers!
CHalk it up to good taste and flattery - but you cant stop someone from doing things, as much as it may stink. But really just relax - and let this blow over. THere are going to be many more things that as the day approaches that are going to rightfully stress you out - and need your attention. Just focus on the day you dreamed of.![]()
I totally appreciate your honesty and being a tad harsh - but thats the reality and thats what i need help with.
Given yes - there are hundreds of Brides some with maybe similar ideas - but when its your 'close' friend, it puts a whole new spin on things. By no means would i tell her what she can and cant do - i just want to make her realize how her actions are affecting me and making me feel without totally messing up the next year.
Im sure there will be MANY more things that need my attention more than her drama - and i would love to focus 100% on my wedding. All why im trying to figure this out now while its still early.
i wouldn't tell her anything in regards to planning. and maybe even tell her if she needed your help planning she could have just asked. she doesn't seem like a true friend at all...i dunno that i'd want such a jealous envious person in my wedding party
Posted by MCA1180
Or you could be sneaky too and give her crappy ideas and try to pass them off as awesome and pretend you're doing them lol
Posted by ETurner
Overall - Thank you everyone for your posts - it has helped me A LOT. I think, for the sake of my FH and his relationship with her FH, i will talk with her. Tell her im hurt and tell her she went out of line.
Shes not normally the type to be sympathetic - and she tends to turn things around on you like your the *** hole - but its worth a shot.
If things dont work after the talk - ill probably end up back here with what to do next.
Thanxs again girls and good luck with your weddings!!
Here's to not dealing with 'One-Uppers' for the rest of the year![]()
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Oh boy ! Flattery is one thing but duplicating everything is not right. I agree stop telling her things - maybe speak with your maid of honor and the other girls if you can about this and ask themto not share information except on a need to know basis.
Oh maybe you can just say something to her like listen I know we are both getting married close to each other but maybe it is best if we keep the planning to ourselves only involving each other when you have to include her for something bridesmaid related? No sure this is tough! My best friend decided to get married the week after me, when she got engaged and now we are both planning our wedding at the same time, she is in my wedding but she is not having a bridal party, so far things have worked out ok. We might have the same flower color but I don't care i picked mine first and am not chaning...and we are having totally different weddings. At first I was upset but there is nothing you can do. Your situation is a lot more extreme!! I would be rightfuly upset!
Posted by MCA1180
Or you could be sneaky too and give her crappy ideas and try to pass them off as awesome and pretend you're doing them lol
i was going to say that!!! lol Or even say your postponing the wedding for a few months and see if she changes her date or something.
Posted by MCA1180
Or you could be sneaky too and give her crappy ideas and try to pass them off as awesome and pretend you're doing them lol
Posted by MCA1180
Or you could be sneaky too and give her crappy ideas and try to pass them off as awesome and pretend you're doing them lol
honestly- the dress thing was crossing a line but she obviously values your opinion so be flattered but be on your guard! Don't share any more ideas...
It is called bridal identity theft.you must keep some of your details to yourself for now. In addition you have to talk to her.jmo.
