My FI and I both asked our parents who they woul;d want to invite so that way we would know how many extra friends we could invite. Now it seems like every day our moms are calling with new people we HAVE to invite. I'm going to go bananas. It seems like they would rather make us bankrupt than just say no.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I hear you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BellaBella
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I know. Both our parents said they have a list of friends and co-workers that they'd know for years that they'd like to come! I don't really mind, cuz it's not like we have a HUGE list anyway. But when my dad mentioned to me of telling his friends, he said they said that they'd be honored
Bluebaby08
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
You have to have it end at some point. We told our parents we had the final say with the guest list. If we didn't know the person they weren't invitied. I didn't want to have a wedding full of strangers. Even though FH doesn't know half his family, my parents were good and agreed with us. But we are also paying for our wedding ourselves. So we did what we wanted.
AJsMommy122
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I think you should have given them a limit when you told them.. I know my mom wont go crazy with tuns of people but my FMIL might.. we we are telling her she can only have 1 table for all her friends ( 10 seats/5couples) even if it goes a little more then that.. I set a boundry so if she gets one more couple in she will think she won... meanwhile I could care less about 1 couple instead of her handing me a list longer then my body
nferrandi
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I hear you! Mt parents are paying for the reception and they said they would pay for 200 poeple, anything over that we would have to pay for ourselves. My mom's guest list is about 75-80 and my FMIL's is 130!!! That doesn't leave anyone for FH and I to invite. We're going to have to sit down with FMIL and go through the list and start cutting. FH parents are giving us money so they may feel entitled to invite however many people they want, but the money they gave us has been used for the band, the photo/video and the rehearsal dinner, and they know that!
jannshari
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
Posted by Soon2bMsZ
I think you should have given them a limit when you told them.. I know my mom wont go crazy with tuns of people but my FMIL might.. we we are telling her she can only have 1 table for all her friends ( 10 seats/5couples) even if it goes a little more then that.. I set a boundry so if she gets one more couple in she will think she won... meanwhile I could care less about 1 couple instead of her handing me a list longer then my body
You're only allowing your FMIL to have 10 friends there? That sounds a little drastic to me, unless you're talking about 10 friends that are people neither you nor your FH know and are not family friends.
Marisa&Brian
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
YOUR friends and family and people who are important to YOU and your Fiancee should be invited FIRST - w/o any question or reservationn. - Then go through your parents 'HAVE TO INVITE' list - Especially if YOU are paying for the wedding !! -
jw11897
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
My FMIL was good with the initial list and then she started saying things like well they have little kids but I know that when they get married we will be invited so I have to invite them.
Time for a serious talk b/c me and FH are paying for everything ourselves.
NYCHICK
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I juwst got my list from FMIL last night. Keep in mind we wanted a wedding no more than 80 peopole. Hert list ALONE is 56, and that is without the maybes SO my mohter will feel obligated to invite just as many
alixgirl
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
We originally budgeted for 125-150 guests. Now we are up to 200 and the seams are busting. My FI and I are paying for this ourselves and I feel bad already because I have a much bigger family than he does.
Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
What about setting a limit for them and every person over the limit that they feel 'HAS TO' be there then they pay. I know that may sound mean but you can't do that to yourself. It's so hard and stressful, I thought it was going to be fun
nsgraham
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
Remember that some will decline. You can say that 10 to 20% will say no. On a 200 person list, that's 20-40 people.
But have that conversation. You'll have to cut people. Are you cutting kids?
alixgirl
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
Hah!!!! That is another problem. My cousin and her family are coming in from overseas for my wedding. She has 4 kids between the ages of 1-6. How do I tell her no kids and if I let her bring them then other people are going to want to bring their kids. She is my first cousin and everyone from our family will be there. I was thinking of hiring a babysitter but FI says to let her figure it out herself. What do u guys think I should do?
NYCHICK
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I think you may have to hire one considering she is coming from another country. She probably wouldn't know where to begin
palebride
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
i feel for you! we invited 223 people to ur wedding that we were hoping to have 150 people at! the guest list got out of control and we felt bad telling anyone who they could or couldnt' invite..... best of luck to you! be strong!!
nsgraham
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I say that you can totally say - she's from another country, she can bring her kids. I'm doing that for family from Florida. The kids in the bridal party and the kids from this family in Florida. (and my FI's side - even WITH kids they're hardpressed to make 50 people, while mine has 73 and counting )
I would also consider the babysitter - it would probably be less expensive.
Marisa&Brian
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
You are not obligate to invite ANYONE's childern to your wedding. Especially if it is an evening affair - But you are right, you get stuck when you have one person's kids and no one else's - I'd say go w/ a babysitter. -
janet
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
i ended up in the hosiptal from a break down when i found out how many people where on my list! 311! i just kept listening to her when she said 180. well here is a better way... i was counting back in dec. for favors expexting to count about 75 -80 when i was getting 168 i was like something as wrong this can't be right.. well after counting it 3 time i went into a state of shock! i could not beleive my mom had done that to me! WELL, alot of girls said why did i not know this well let's just say can i have a wedding for me next cause this is not my wedding! to finish this my wedding is in 12 days and 18 are his family and the rest are mine and friends of my mom and step dad! that's bad! the total is 190.. i will give her that much she was almost right about the final count! i ws glad the 20 % no's was wrong for me! so i know exsactly how you feel about this! for the kids well we have 8 comming but there in the bp ... i also have 2 kids i work with durning summer camp that are comming as babysitters for the night! all the kids are neices and nephews but no one else is bringing kids!
marymoon
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Re: My guest list is getting out of control!!!!(VENT)
I really want a small(er) wedding, so I made the rule that since by and alrge we're paying for our own wedding (My mom promised to pay for my dress, but that's about all they can afford), we're making the guest list. We don't think that our wedding is the time to pay bakc our family's obligations. We're inviting people WE feel close to. Our parnets have a few close family frineds who we spend time with or have known since childhood and we will invite them, but we will not invite people that WE personally don't know well, even if they inited our parents to their kids's wedding, etc. It's not about that. it's about being surrounded by loved ones. We think the guest list is primarily OUR thing. I send out engagement announcements to close family (It came ot about 50, and I didn't even send it to all of my first cousins, just the close ones), and I made the mistake of asking my FMIL if she had anyone else in mind. She came up with 2 great aunts I hadn't thought of and abut 40 other people I hadn't heard of, third cousins, the city councilman, random neighbors, and it was a big fight because she wouldn't take no for an answer when I tried to explain, politely that i had intended the announcements as a special way of telling only the closest family. I hadn't even sent it to my own first cousins, let alone parent's cousins and their kids as she was suggesting. It's also hard because I have a HUGE family (6 sets of aunts and uncles, each with 2-13 kids), and he has a small one. I feel we should cut it off at the smae place family wise or clsoeness wise - 'Only first cousins' or 'only 2nd cousisn we spend holidays with', but FH's and his family think it should be more based on # of people, which would mean they get o include 3rd cousins before I'm done with first! Oh, sorry I tried to tell you my system and started venting myself. Good luck
