If he is having seizures... are they Mal Seizures?? Those are brought on by sever alcholism and can cause death. They are also very serious! Not only that but if he's having seizures he is probably also having liver damage problems. Once they are at the point of seizures and liver damage it REALLY becomes a life and death battle. This REALLY sounds like a serious case. I REALLY think the ONLY thing that MIGHT make this man realize that he is killing himself and hurting those that love him is an actual INTERVENTION. I'm serious. Unless something catastrophic happens.... he probably isn't going to come to this conclusion on his own.... and if having seizures isn't catasrophic enough for him... he needs that extra push from loved ones. He probably needs to know that you are all there to support him, that you don't judge him in anyway and that you just want him to get the help he needs to he can be around in everyones life for a long time to come. Also, he needs an ultimatum. He needs to either go to treatment or you guys will have to completely sever all ties with him in an effort to leave him completely alone with no where to go and no place to turn for him to realize that he REALLY is in a desperate situation. Also, he most likely will not go to a hospital willingly. Or a Dr. Because he KNOWS what they will say to him. You can't expect a man who is slowly killing himself to go to a dr to get checked out.
KerriJohnS
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Also - when you want to remove any of this... if you want me to remove my posts as well... let me know and I will gladly delete them.
I think anyone who is dealing with this situation, esp if they never have before, they should speak to a professional.
I know there are tons of hotlines and numbers that you can call for information about this. I think even 311 has something for this as well.
Look for an intervention specialist too. I just googled it and a bunch of stuff came up.
JennyAPH
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Posted by KerriJohnS
Also - when you want to remove any of this... if you want me to remove my posts as well... let me know and I will gladly delete them.
I think anyone who is dealing with this situation, esp if they never have before, they should speak to a professional.
I know there are tons of hotlines and numbers that you can call for information about this. I think even 311 has something for this as well.
Look for an intervention specialist too. I just googled it and a bunch of stuff came up.
Thank you. I am going to talk to FH about this tonight. They have tried the family intervention once before and it didnt work.
KerriJohnS
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
PS - I think the fact that your FH wrote him a heartfelt letter is a very good thing. Hopefully it will hit him.
KerriJohnS
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Did they do it with a specialist or just the family?
kimmaymb20
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
I understand and I feel for both you and FH family its so tough watching them self destruct. FH dad is an alcoholic but not as bad as your FFIL. My couisn was just put back in detox for the same things with your FFIL. Its so sad and upsetting.
GT143EA
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Awwww Jen! Im so sorry you guys are going through this
JennyAPH
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Posted by KerriJohnS
Did they do it with a specialist or just the family?
I am not sure. I think it was just the family. I just googled alto of links and sent them to FH.. Maybe they can get a counselor to help out with everything. Its very important that whatever they do works this time considering his health conditions.
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
I'm so sorry you and FH have to go through this. Unfortunately, I know exactly how awful those kinds of people can be as I have experienced that in the past. No advice, just for you and fh.
KerriJohnS
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Great to hear Jenny!! I think thats really your best option. And you are totally right abou tit having to work this time considering the health issues he is having. Hopefully with the help of a guided professional things will go in that direction.
BarbieGrl10
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Posted by JennyAPH
Posted by BarbieGrl10
Aww Jen! I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you and your FH feel. My father was a very bad alcoholic. I didn't invite him to the wedding... he didn't even know I was engaged. I couldn't tell him. I didn't know what I was going to do. He died in November, so now I think my father will be there just in spirit. I know what it feels like to not feel loved or important enough for the drinking to stop....but its not your FHs fault. The best advice I can give to you is to be strong for your FH, let him be sad, angry... anything... just be there and thats the best thing you can do. If you want to talk more privately please FM me.
I am so sorry to hear all that. It is such a sad thing to watch someone go through and watch the family deal with it. I am so sorry
I think its a great idea for you to check out different options of support...but please please please do not bury yourself in it. I'm just speaking from my own faults. Do not let it become a source of guilt for you and you FH. Try to get his family together and have a family meeting to plan out a course of action.
And like I said earlier... just love and support your FH.... really be there for him. That is the best thing you can do. Its what Michael did and still continues to do for me.
Celeste617
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
So sorry to hear that you are going through this. I have known a number of people that had severe alcohol and/or drug problems. Sometimes admitting they have a problem is not the true first step as they need to be willing to make a change. I hope all works out but understand that he is not doing this to hurt anyone purposely - it is pure selfishness and usually all the pleading in the world will not make them change until they WANT to.
donnasmom09
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
Jenny, I feel for FH and you!!!! My Dad was an alchoholic. Mary MOB
FutureMrsG
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I am so sorry your FH had to make such a difficult choice. He has to do what is best for the both of you as you begin your life together.
JennyAPH
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Re: My heart breaks for FH (sorry its long)
I think its a great idea for you to check out different options of support...but please please please do not bury yourself in it. I'm just speaking from my own faults. Do not let it become a source of guilt for you and you FH. Try to get his family together and have a family meeting to plan out a course of action.
And like I said earlier... just love and support your FH.... really be there for him. That is the best thing you can do. Its what Michael did and still continues to do for me.
