MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Original post by OctGroom

Sep 04, 2004 02:02 AM

Background info --

One of my CLOSEST friends got married last year.. He's been a friend of mine since 1987. His wife is a sweetheart of a girl.

For his bachelor party, his new bride came along. Everybody was invited. It was a combo thing. (In other words.. you could bring your SO. It wasn't just the boys.)

It was a VERY fun & good day..

BUT>>>

The reason for the combo thing was that his FW didn't want him to go to a strip club. She felt that bcause he was going to be her husband --> why would he want to look at other women? (There's some validity to that).

NOW.. my bachelor party is coming up...

I told my Best Man.. plan whatever you guys want to do.. I don't care. I'll have fun just being with you. I'm up for anything.

MY FW doesn't mind me going to a strip club.

But I know my friend's DW will forbid him to go to a strip club for my party.

I know my we would all like to have the OPTION of choosing whether to go to one or not. Sure.. I admit.. going to a strip club might be fun. (It's a guy thing, I guess.. )

But I value my friend much more and I don't want trouble to start with him and his DW.

Yet.. it my bachelor party.. and does she have the right to tell us in essence what we ALL can and cannot do. We want to feel like we have the option to do it if we want to.

Opinions.....

OctGroom Posted: Sep 06, 2004 11:32 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by suven

hey, I don't even think as far as the lap dance. It just makes me feel nauseous to picture my husband gawking at naked women.

ANYWAY,

I was thinking about this some more.

Playing devil's advocate here...

WHAT IF your friend was a recovering alcoholic? Would you be upset with his wife because she wouldn't want him going out to a bar with you?

WHAT IF he was a recovering gambler? Would you be upset with his wife because she wouldn't want him going to AC with you?

Let me whip out my old, dusty psychology degree here...

Could it be that you are really upset at your FRIEND because he won't 'choose you' and go to the strip club with you? But, instead of admitting that you're upset with him for not going out with you, you're validating why he 'can't' come and getting upset with the wife instead?

(When all's said and done, I still think you should plan your night as you want it, but don't get upset with anyone else over it! )

EVERYBODY LISTEN.. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!

I AM NOT PLANNING MY BACHELOR PARTY.

You guys are cracking me up.

In this instance, I am really trying to be the GOOD guy.. and let me explain how.

1.) I have been friends with my groomsman since 1987. He got married last year. I think the world of the girl he married.. though my friends and I will say that she usually gets her way more than he gets his way.

2.) His brother is my best man and wants to plan something for me that will be a fun surprise. As well, other guys in attendance are expecting us to hit a strip club once in the night BUT.. I have said that it ISN'T necessary.

Here's the dilemna -- I want everybody to be there the WHOLE night. The Best Man wants to plan something that all 10 guys can enjoy most of all, me. I don't want there to be hard feelings between the groomsman's wife and him and also me.. but I also want my best man to be able to plan something cool.

If he plans a strip club thing, one of my closest and longest friends who I have known forever may have to leave. I want him to stay but I don't want trouble for him at home.

That's the dilemna. It's not about me.

Thanks!

LisaT Posted: Sep 07, 2004 12:28 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

well, I think you're off the hook since you're not doing the planning

and since its his brother that is planning it, he should be familiar with the situation and make the call as he sees fit. I see you're trying to be the good guy, but since its out of your hands, don't stress about it. If your friend isn't willing to battle it out with his wife to be there for you, its not worth your time to worry over.

Personally, I don't see what the big deal is with strip clubs. I don't see the appeal so much, but I also have no idea why people get worked up over their SO's going to them. Do these same people care if their SO watch porn? Because if its not a 'trust issue' its all gawking at naked women.

Al's not really into that scene, and didn't have any at his BP, but he could have if he wanted. I saw naked men at my BP (Naked Men Signing), and he didn't mind.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, at a recent friends BP party, one of the wives gave her husband $$ for a blowjob (cause she doesn't like 'doing that') - can you IMAGINE?!

june262004 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 12:52 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Ok no 1. Drinking is not an exscuse. Would a straight man get really drunk then have sex with a man cause he was so 'drunk that he didn't know what he was doing' Nope probably not.

no 2. A lap dance is not cheating its a girl shoving her boobs and grinding on a guy Big deal is she sucking him off Nope probably not.

no 3. Is there a big guy named bubba standing there watching the whole thing yup probably.

Meaning : if the guys pays the right price and asks for it then he could probably get something extra but otherwise he's not. Unless it was a 'home party' Where they are not strippers at a strip club they become more like hookers. and again I TRUST MY DH. We made promises to each other no matter what happened and how drunk we got and how bad it was we would tell each other. He told me about all the all nude clubs they went to Atlantic City and how he got lap dances at them and how his dumb friends wasted 150.00 for him to go on stage and have the strippers poor wipe cream down his throat and strip in front of him and all I said was '150.00 for that' his answer 'ya and it was so stupid and I almost got sick when the whip cream was going down my throat'

JimmysBride Posted: Sep 07, 2004 01:03 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

I had a very similar situation with my MOH. My MOH refused to attend the bachelorette party if there were to be strippers of any sort involved. Another BM was supposed to be planning it and FH and I were not entirely opposed to the stripper thing for both of us. My MOH is not even married or dating anyone. She just felt that our relationship deserved more 'respect' than that and would not be party to it. These are her words and feelings, not mine.

Anyway, we discussed the possibilities of her joining us after the strip club, or doing two nights, etc etc.... I just wanted all my girls there. It didn't make sense to me to cater the evening around this moral stance she was taking. So FH and I sat down and discussed it and seeing as how no one on his end was opposed to the strippers, it wouldn't be fair. We decided that in the end, since neither one of us 'HAD' to have strippers, we'd be better off deciding that neither bachelor/ette party would have them.

So, yes, we ended up giving in to her, in a way, but I think we are both better off for it. Strippers were not a requirement for either of us so it was just easier to rule it out so everyone could participate which was way more important than seeing strangers take their clothes off.

suven Posted: Sep 07, 2004 08:58 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by OctGroom

I AM NOT PLANNING MY BACHELOR PARTY.

That's the dilemna. It's not about me.

Thanks!

You're not?

And, it IS about you. It's YOUR party!

Just a side bar here, only because we're spending so much time on the whole stripper thing.

Aside from that, you may still have guys leave or not come for other reasons.

My DH's cousin didn't go to his BP AT ALL because he's broke. Another guy stayed for the first half of the night (dinner) and then went home because he didn't have any cash to gamble with.

So, I really don't think you should worry about it. Technically, since you're not officially planning it, you really don't have a say one way or another...

So, just go out and have fun (whatever you end up doing!)

don424 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:14 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Brother,

I can see where you're getting frustrated with some of the answers on this board, because they're missing the point and making it a different issue than it really is. You're like me, you want all your buddies there and you want to have a fun night, and not compromise anyone's feelings or cause any problems. I know the feeling well. I always try to please everyone, but I think you know that sometimes, it's not possible.

First, to address the post about drinking and strip clubs being bad because drinking makes people do things they would 'never do'. That's a bunch of baloney. I'm sure that anyone who drinks at the bacehlor party, it will not be the first time they've drank before, so you know before the party what your alcohol tolerance is, and that bit about, 'Honey, I'd never cheat on you sober, it was the alcohol talking and my friends made me do it', is a bunch of crap. At my BP, Boosh and I both agreed to tell each other every detail of the night. It was in my friends apartment and he had strippers at the party. For extra money, they would have done 'extra'. I got WASTED, but not to the point that I would do something that I wouldn't remember and would violate the agreement Boosh and I had. She knew there would be girls there. There were things I was allowed to do and things that I was not allowed to do and I stayed true to that.

And, I had a groomsmen who was like your groomsmen who had a FW who was dead set against the whole idea and didn't want him to come. The whole trust issue came into play and he was mad that she would question his faithfulness to her over a stripper. He wound up coming to the party and came very close to losing his FI over it. He made a choice, just like your friend has to make a choice. This isn't about him doing something to make his wife upset. This is about trust. if you go to a strip club every night of the week, that is a problem. But, to not let your husband go to a party that is a one-time event because of strippers is a plain old lack of trust. And the fact that she's going to your FW's party, where there will probably be male strippers is a double standard.

Boosh's MOH also was against strippers and threatened to leave if they showed up at the bachelorette party. My cousins (the other bridesmaids) were planning the party and didn't want to be told what they could and could not do. In the end, Boosh wound up having 2 parties. She went to dinner and a comedy club with her MOH and went clubbing in NYC with my cousins.

There are different ways to resolve this, but in order for your best man to have complete freedom over the night, you may have to face facts that your friend may not be there for the whole thing. if that happens, just deal with it and perhaps plan a dinner with him separately and maybe make it a double-date.

Anniegrl Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:17 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by september2004

Posted by june262004

I might get flamed for this but..( im putting on my Flame retardant suit) If you can't let ure S.O. go to a strip club or out with friends. I think you should reevaluate your relationship and rethink getting married.

i agree about the 'not letting' part, however i would not be thrilled with FH if he wanted to engage in these activities in the first place. i can understand boys in there teens and 20's doing this crap but once you hit your mid 30's (which is what my FH is now) my attitude is 'grow up'. i would seriously question why FH would want to do this and don't think i would be attracted to a guy that would go out of his way to arrange this type of thing.

been there, done that (i dragged my sister to her first strip club years ago with a bunch of my guy friends), time to grow up...

when it came time for FH to do the bachelor thing, he had a bunch of his friends take him out to a NYC steakhouse and they went bar hopping afterwards. he was worried that his FBIL would surprise him with something, and i told him if he did to just go with the flow and not worry about it. nothing happened. it's the attitude that FH had going into the whole things that i was happy about, he has sewn his oats...

Same here. I undestand that guys like to look, but hey, SO DO WOMEN!!!!! (look at naked guys, that is ) But do we feel the need to go to strip clubs with our girl friends? Nooooo! It's not even fun anyway because we don't get to see what we're dying to see! All we get to see is a topless man. Big deal. Female strippers get wayyyyy raunchier.
And I agree that's it's so immature for guys to go to a strip club for their last single night out, and to be honest, I find it incredibly disrespectful to whoever the significant other is (unless she doesn't care). DH knows how I feel about this crap, so if he's invited to a bachelor party where he knows they're going to a strip club after drinking, he'll just hang out at the bar and then come home when the rest of the guys go to the strip club. He doesn't see why I make such a big deal out of it because he thinks its harmless, but I don't force him to come home. He just does it out of respect for me. Plus, he doesn't like spending money on overpriced drinks and giving money to a bunch of skanky ho-bag strippers.

HearzBellz Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:23 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by Imagin916

I'll probably get flamed for this as well..But here goes..

I think you should plan the bachelor party as YOU want it, and let this guy deal with his master..If he takes his balls out of her purse and decides to go, great, if not then maybe you can do something else with him at a different time. I dont think a husband and wife should tell each other what they can and cant do, they are adults and can make thier own decisions. I wouldnt care if my man went to a strip club for a bachelor party, if he went every weekend or something, then that would be a different story.

If a woman is so controlling over a man that she feels the need to *forbid* him to do something, he may do it out of spite. A man that has the trust of his s.o. would probably feel guilty doing anything when he has a great girl at home that trusts him. Its like if you keep accusing a man of cheating over and over and he really isnt, he may just go out and do it because you think he is anyway..I know that doesnt sound logical, but I have heard that from many guys, and I guess to the male brain (some of them at least) it does.

The men at a bachelor party probably have a better chance of 'getting some' while barhopping at a regular bar or club than at a strip club. Think about it..A group of fun guys out having a good time could easily meet a group of girls also looking to have a good time.

No matter where your man goes..a strip club, a bar, whatever..temptation is everywhere..If he has no intention of cheating, no matter how drunk he is, or how cute that girl he met on line at the store, he won't. End of story.

1549574_1.gif

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:27 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

I don't really like the idea of DH going to a strip club. But it's not like he goes on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Hell, he went once to the local one here, and that was just for laughs. He's never been back nor does he want to. If a friend from home ever came to visit he might take him there, again, just for laughs but truth be told he's not really into watching strippers (unless it's me )

What does the DW think - does she not trust her DH? Granted I don't think ANY woman is thrilled that her SO would go to watch other woman strip. For most men it's not a regular thing. Some guys like my DH would rather do something else. But it's 'tradition'. You have to trust that it's not going to ruin a marriage for a man to go there on his stag night. Because most times, it won't.

Your friend's wife needs to let go of the leash a bit and let her husband go. Becuase while it's not the end of the world if she does not let him go, he just might be a bit resentful about it.

If she still won't, then I say go there first, and then your freind can meet you and the rest out for drinks later on.

ETA: here's my new favorite line of this thread:
If he takes his balls out of her purse and decides to go,

HearzBellz Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:29 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by june262004

no 3. Is there a big guy named bubba standing there watching the whole thing yup probably.

Trust me the 'bubbas' of the strip club world want to see our DH/FI get as much action as we want to see him get...NONE

OK. now back to the dilemma here. If this is such a major issue, then tell your friend not to plan a strip club into the night. If the other guys want to organize another night informally, and take you to a strip club, then that seems to be a pretty non-offensive, no-hard-feelings way of doing it. Like a spontaneus night out that just happens to lead you to Scores

I understand you do not want to tell your GM this, but I think you should break tradition & tell him your concerns.....JM*H*O

BTW... the fact that this has even occured to you to be a problem tells me that you are a good friend, as far as I'm concerned....

HearzBellz Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:32 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by don424

i'm with you man

no comment

they don't get it and i'm not causing any controversy

some of us get it

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:33 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by DjPiLL

In my case... I am going to give my groomsman the benefit of the doubt that he will take care of this problem. If she insists on him not going... then I am gonna have a little 'heart to heart' with her myself.

DJ a word of advice, don't have a 'heart ot heart' with her. It will just put you in the middle of it all, make her madder about the situation and make it worse for your friend. If she won't *let* him go, that's half his fault for enabling her to act so 'controlling'. There are more issues here than just a stag night. It would totally suck if he doesnt' go but as a woman, I really think you should kinda stay out of it. Sorry

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:34 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

BTW... the fact that this has even occured to you to be a problem tells me that you are a good friend, as far as I'm concerned....

I agree with HearzBellz on that one.

september2004 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:50 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by HearzBellz

Posted by don424

i'm with you man

no comment

they don't get it and i'm not causing any controversy

some of us get it

i 'get it', i just have a different take on things...

HearzBellz Posted: Sep 07, 2004 09:51 AM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by Maribelle7777

BTW... the fact that this has even occured to you to be a problem tells me that you are a good friend, as far as I'm concerned....

I agree with HearzBellz on that one.

Thank you

OctGroom Posted: Sep 07, 2004 01:35 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by Maribelle7777

BTW... the fact that this has even occured to you to be a problem tells me that you are a good friend, as far as I'm concerned....

I agree with HearzBellz on that one.

Thanks!.. it looked to some like I was being a bad friend which is a COMPLETE fallacy.

I can be so damn sensitive to other people's feelings that it can be nauseating.

Sometimes my posts are written 2 or 3 times so that I won't be at all 'harsh' but still be able to get my point across. Most of the time, I think I succeed at that. I hope I do.

But that's a side point.

I thank you for this!

YOU ROCK!

OctGroom Posted: Sep 07, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by don424

Brother,

I can see where you're getting frustrated with some of the answers on this board, because they're missing the point and making it a different issue than it really is. You're like me, you want all your buddies there and you want to have a fun night, and not compromise anyone's feelings or cause any problems. I know the feeling well. I always try to please everyone, but I think you know that sometimes, it's not possible.

First, to address the post about drinking and strip clubs being bad because drinking makes people do things they would 'never do'. That's a bunch of baloney. I'm sure that anyone who drinks at the bacehlor party, it will not be the first time they've drank before, so you know before the party what your alcohol tolerance is, and that bit about, 'Honey, I'd never cheat on you sober, it was the alcohol talking and my friends made me do it', is a bunch of crap. At my BP, Boosh and I both agreed to tell each other every detail of the night. It was in my friends apartment and he had strippers at the party. For extra money, they would have done 'extra'. I got WASTED, but not to the point that I would do something that I wouldn't remember and would violate the agreement Boosh and I had. She knew there would be girls there. There were things I was allowed to do and things that I was not allowed to do and I stayed true to that.

And, I had a groomsmen who was like your groomsmen who had a FW who was dead set against the whole idea and didn't want him to come. The whole trust issue came into play and he was mad that she would question his faithfulness to her over a stripper. He wound up coming to the party and came very close to losing his FI over it. He made a choice, just like your friend has to make a choice. This isn't about him doing something to make his wife upset. This is about trust. if you go to a strip club every night of the week, that is a problem. But, to not let your husband go to a party that is a one-time event because of strippers is a plain old lack of trust. And the fact that she's going to your FW's party, where there will probably be male strippers is a double standard.

Boosh's MOH also was against strippers and threatened to leave if they showed up at the bachelorette party. My cousins (the other bridesmaids) were planning the party and didn't want to be told what they could and could not do. In the end, Boosh wound up having 2 parties. She went to dinner and a comedy club with her MOH and went clubbing in NYC with my cousins.

There are different ways to resolve this, but in order for your best man to have complete freedom over the night, you may have to face facts that your friend may not be there for the whole thing. if that happens, just deal with it and perhaps plan a dinner with him separately and maybe make it a double-date.

Well Don.. to be honest.. my friends call me, '2 Beer' Howie. LOL

I don't drink that much or often to be honest. I did at the groomsman's wedding that we are discussing in this poll. I got sooooo sick and remembered why I do NOT drink very often.

BTW.. there won't be any strippers at the FW's bachelorette party. I was just raising a hypothetical situation.

You know.. the old double standard thing...

don424 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 02:12 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by OctGroom

Posted by don424

Brother,

I can see where you're getting frustrated with some of the answers on this board, because they're missing the point and making it a different issue than it really is. You're like me, you want all your buddies there and you want to have a fun night, and not compromise anyone's feelings or cause any problems. I know the feeling well. I always try to please everyone, but I think you know that sometimes, it's not possible.

First, to address the post about drinking and strip clubs being bad because drinking makes people do things they would 'never do'. That's a bunch of baloney. I'm sure that anyone who drinks at the bacehlor party, it will not be the first time they've drank before, so you know before the party what your alcohol tolerance is, and that bit about, 'Honey, I'd never cheat on you sober, it was the alcohol talking and my friends made me do it', is a bunch of crap. At my BP, Boosh and I both agreed to tell each other every detail of the night. It was in my friends apartment and he had strippers at the party. For extra money, they would have done 'extra'. I got WASTED, but not to the point that I would do something that I wouldn't remember and would violate the agreement Boosh and I had. She knew there would be girls there. There were things I was allowed to do and things that I was not allowed to do and I stayed true to that.

And, I had a groomsmen who was like your groomsmen who had a FW who was dead set against the whole idea and didn't want him to come. The whole trust issue came into play and he was mad that she would question his faithfulness to her over a stripper. He wound up coming to the party and came very close to losing his FI over it. He made a choice, just like your friend has to make a choice. This isn't about him doing something to make his wife upset. This is about trust. if you go to a strip club every night of the week, that is a problem. But, to not let your husband go to a party that is a one-time event because of strippers is a plain old lack of trust. And the fact that she's going to your FW's party, where there will probably be male strippers is a double standard.

Boosh's MOH also was against strippers and threatened to leave if they showed up at the bachelorette party. My cousins (the other bridesmaids) were planning the party and didn't want to be told what they could and could not do. In the end, Boosh wound up having 2 parties. She went to dinner and a comedy club with her MOH and went clubbing in NYC with my cousins.

There are different ways to resolve this, but in order for your best man to have complete freedom over the night, you may have to face facts that your friend may not be there for the whole thing. if that happens, just deal with it and perhaps plan a dinner with him separately and maybe make it a double-date.

Well Don.. to be honest.. my friends call me, '2 Beer' Howie. LOL

I don't drink that much or often to be honest. I did at the groomsman's wedding that we are discussing in this poll. I got sooooo sick and remembered why I do NOT drink very often.

BTW.. there won't be any strippers at the FW's bachelorette party. I was just raising a hypothetical situation.

You know.. the old double standard thing...

no strippers at the FW's party eh?, well that throws my 'double standard' argument right out the window doesn't it?

and i'm not a drinker either, only on special occasions. And I've never gotten sick. Just really tired

OctGroom Posted: Sep 07, 2004 02:27 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by don424

Posted by OctGroom

Posted by don424

Brother,

I can see where you're getting frustrated with some of the answers on this board, because they're missing the point and making it a different issue than it really is. You're like me, you want all your buddies there and you want to have a fun night, and not compromise anyone's feelings or cause any problems. I know the feeling well. I always try to please everyone, but I think you know that sometimes, it's not possible.

First, to address the post about drinking and strip clubs being bad because drinking makes people do things they would 'never do'. That's a bunch of baloney. I'm sure that anyone who drinks at the bacehlor party, it will not be the first time they've drank before, so you know before the party what your alcohol tolerance is, and that bit about, 'Honey, I'd never cheat on you sober, it was the alcohol talking and my friends made me do it', is a bunch of crap. At my BP, Boosh and I both agreed to tell each other every detail of the night. It was in my friends apartment and he had strippers at the party. For extra money, they would have done 'extra'. I got WASTED, but not to the point that I would do something that I wouldn't remember and would violate the agreement Boosh and I had. She knew there would be girls there. There were things I was allowed to do and things that I was not allowed to do and I stayed true to that.

And, I had a groomsmen who was like your groomsmen who had a FW who was dead set against the whole idea and didn't want him to come. The whole trust issue came into play and he was mad that she would question his faithfulness to her over a stripper. He wound up coming to the party and came very close to losing his FI over it. He made a choice, just like your friend has to make a choice. This isn't about him doing something to make his wife upset. This is about trust. if you go to a strip club every night of the week, that is a problem. But, to not let your husband go to a party that is a one-time event because of strippers is a plain old lack of trust. And the fact that she's going to your FW's party, where there will probably be male strippers is a double standard.

Boosh's MOH also was against strippers and threatened to leave if they showed up at the bachelorette party. My cousins (the other bridesmaids) were planning the party and didn't want to be told what they could and could not do. In the end, Boosh wound up having 2 parties. She went to dinner and a comedy club with her MOH and went clubbing in NYC with my cousins.

There are different ways to resolve this, but in order for your best man to have complete freedom over the night, you may have to face facts that your friend may not be there for the whole thing. if that happens, just deal with it and perhaps plan a dinner with him separately and maybe make it a double-date.

Well Don.. to be honest.. my friends call me, '2 Beer' Howie. LOL

I don't drink that much or often to be honest. I did at the groomsman's wedding that we are discussing in this poll. I got sooooo sick and remembered why I do NOT drink very often.

BTW.. there won't be any strippers at the FW's bachelorette party. I was just raising a hypothetical situation.

You know.. the old double standard thing...

no strippers at the FW's party eh?, well that throws my 'double standard' argument right out the window doesn't it?

and i'm not a drinker either, only on special occasions. And I've never gotten sick. Just really tired

still.. even IF there were.. would she excuse herself?.. no one wants to leave a party.. but that would be fair, no?

interesting hypothetical.

I'm just gonna let the 2 brothers handle it.

I got too many other things to drive me nuts!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 02:28 PM

Re: MY last new topic of the week... Ethical Dilemna about my Bachelor Party

Posted by OctGroom

Posted by Maribelle7777

BTW... the fact that this has even occured to you to be a problem tells me that you are a good friend, as far as I'm concerned....

I agree with HearzBellz on that one.

Thanks!.. it looked to some like I was being a bad friend which is a COMPLETE fallacy.

I can be so damn sensitive to other people's feelings that it can be nauseating.

Sometimes my posts are written 2 or 3 times so that I won't be at all 'harsh' but still be able to get my point across. Most of the time, I think I succeed at that. I hope I do.

But that's a side point.

I thank you for this!

YOU ROCK!