My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

Original post by june262004

Jan 16, 2003 03:10 PM

Went to meet with the preist last night. I can't believe this. First of all the asked us nothing about how long we have known each other nothing about our families NOTHING. They made us fill out paperwork and asked us if we want to get married (DUH) if we are in counseling. Why is it there business (they said cause they want to make sure we are in our free mind to get married). Then they give us a booklet from the church with rules.... RULES!!! like no alchol in the limo before the church and The limo company has to sign this!!!! SIGN IT!!!!!!!! they need the limo companies name and #! the photographer and videographer has rules 2. they can not stand on any carpeted area of the church?????? and can not use any extra lighting inside the church or in the lobby????? they 2 haveto sign this affidavit with name of company and phone #. Ya rght if I bring this to them they will laugh at me!!!!!!! I cant believe this crap. Flower girls can not throw flowers whats the whole point of having a flower girl (besides them looking adorable)!?!?!?!? I cant bring in any outside flowers into the church for the alter and if I do they have to be placed on tile foor not on the carpet (which is on the alter) I can't believe this! does anyone elses church have these rules or just mine!!!!
Thanks ladies
Kristin

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Jan 16, 2003 09:44 PM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

I know the feeling. My church was the same way.
We got a 6 page rules list. For example
No aisle runner,
only religious music already approved
no flowers can be thrown (so same with flower girl)
My photographer and video person will be placed in one spot only - NO LIGHTS allowed - Flash only when walking down the aisle no other time - they are not allowed to take photos during certain parts of the ceremony
We all have to be at the church 45 mins before the ceremony
We HAVE to order our flowers thru the alterguild - there is a 150 minimum
We have to do our programs thru them
soloists have to be approved well in advance and they have the option to tell my friend no
And basically with all the things I have to use to go thru the church it will end up costing us 1,500$ if I go for the minimum only for flowers if I want something other than really basic (I was told average would cost me about 400$)

eroxgirl Posted: Jan 16, 2003 09:56 PM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

Every night since I've gotten engaged I've prayed that I wake up Jewish and don't have to deal w/ this crap!! I feel your pain! I didn't even get that deep in conversation w/ my priest (of course, he told me he couldn't perform my ceremony in the first 10 minutes of meeting w/ him but thats another drama)

But not all churches have the same rigid rules so maybe it will help to look around...

TESTAROSSA19 Posted: Jan 16, 2003 10:07 PM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

Our church had some of the same rules. The limo, photographer, and videographer all have to sighn a paper stating that they will make sure that my FH and I are at the church on time. They said nothing about where they can stand or about throwing anything afterwards. Our fees were a little high and we have to tip the alter boys, which I thought was a little unreasonable, we aren't having a mass, so what will the alter boys be doing anyway? I will look into the other rules just to doublecheck. I am a little nervous after hearing everyone else's rules!

princess99 Posted: Jan 16, 2003 10:30 PM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

I am Jewish and the rules we hade gotten from the rabbi last week were not as strong as yours! I have to cover my shoulders during the ceromony with a bridal wrap, and also cannot wear any jewelry under the chuppah. Before and afterwards is fine, the only thing in jewelry I will have on during the ceromony is my wedding band. It was explained to me that it has to do with the purity of marriage. As far as the drinking I can understand, but to tell you what to pay is crazy. I always thought it was a donation, and as far as telling you what your photgrapher and videographer can do is crazy!!! I would look around for another church to get married in.

karen32 Posted: Jan 16, 2003 11:55 PM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

I think a lot of the churches have the same rules - where the photo/video guys can stand, what you can/can not throw. The 'no alcohol' policy is also pretty standard - both of my GF's who got married last year (in different churches) had to sign them.

avesur Posted: Jan 17, 2003 12:20 AM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

I am catholic, but FH is not ... so we are not having a Church wedding but a very nice interfaith minister in the Garden of WM ... I always knew that I couldn't be happy through a religious marriage Cana, or dealing with the restrictive and medieval rules that some parrishes have. I grew up going to a private catholic school ... and although I admit that the education I received there was amazing, I don't think that I could deal right now with all their restrictions in order to get married.

Good luck girls! be patiente!

jpsgirl Posted: Jan 17, 2003 07:22 AM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

I'm sorry for all your trouble. Just thought I might make you laugh, when I read the title, I thought you were saying your church 'rules' - and I was like wow. she's very excited about her church!

IrishTracy Posted: Jan 17, 2003 08:38 AM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

HOLY!! I can't beleive all the rules!!! The no booze in the limo rule is killing me!! I am SO having a couple of mimosas on the morning of my wedding!! I guess I can consider my church to be cool!! Not only are they letting our son who won't even be 2 be our Best Man. But, they don't have many rules. They just say that:
Dress of all in the bridal party should be an expression of Chritian modesty. (My dress is strapless & comes w/ a shawl..I HATE THE SHAWL!!)
Please ask photoraphers to be respectful; not to be distracting, and not to use floodlights or anything that would make this sacramental ceremony appear theatrical.

wacky Posted: Jan 17, 2003 08:46 AM

Re: My meeting with the preist and the churches RULES!!!!!!

Please I mad the mistake of telling my priest that I went to counseling and they gave me such a hard time. I had to get a letter from the Dr stating I was sound in mind ( no comments from the peanut gallery) Anyway I called up the priest and said 'doesnt the church have other issues at hand, like priests fondling little boys' Ask them for their letter from a shrink.

Needless to say I had to get a letter. Thats the last time I tell the thruth to the church.

All churches have different rules, but they all have some sort of rules applying to weddings.