Today, at 4:03pm I received an EMAIL from my MOH saying she cannot be my MOH because 'financially' and 'things are just different' and 'I am not around like that' and 'you deserve to be catered to' and 'you shouldnt have a MOH you need to chase' and 'enter some more ******** excuses here' ' and 'but id still love to be a part of your wedding party because I love you'
ARE
YOU
KIDDING
ME
I am SO UPSET! first and foremost, because she EMAILED ME! like we have been friends for 15yrs, you couldnt say this to me! REALLY? and second, because its all BS. I mean that little to you that you can't MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE? this is my WEDDING!
But then again, this is the same girl who didn't show up to my law school graduation because 'I am having a BBQ the night before and you know im not gonna lie and say ill be there if i wont because im def going to drink and dont want to wake up'
yeah, shame on me!
Note: I would like it to be known that this GIRL who I once called my MOH is the FURTHEST from 'financially hurting'. She books vacations like its her frikkin job!!! THOUGHT! if she is my MOH she might have to take one less vacation. HOW SELFISH OF ME!
Yankeeelove
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Wow that's just rediculous! I'm sorry this is happenening to you, but look at the bright side, at least you didn't find this out like 2 months before the wedding.
Moonmist09
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
oh no! i'm so sorry you have to go through this! unfortunately, weddings bring out the best and worst in people. in your case, your MOH just showed you how much you mean to her, or in this case, how little you mean to her. be glad that she at least told you she won't be there for you so you can move on and pick someone else and not have to chase her around and she is never there for you anyway. its up to you now what you will do with this friendship, but imo, this would sever it
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Honestly, Ive been in a smilar situation and be grateful that you have this info now... and not weeks before the wedding! I def understand how hurt you are feeling right now... One of my BM's also put herself and her drug addiction before me and my unselfish wedding requests... When it came down to it, she was no longer in my wedding party and she wasnt invited to my wedding either for fear that she would ruin it like she did all my pre-wedding festivities... all this just 10 days before my wedding day...
In your situation, it really sux the way she handled such an improtant discussion, but everything happens for a reason... I'm positive one of your other BM's would be thrilled with being made MOH and just being there FOR YOU Hang in there chica!
Ashley627
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
omg that is horrible, but if there is one good way to look at this its that you found out now rather than later and she doesn't need to be included into the most important moments of your life....
RFutureBegins2day
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ktcafaro
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Thanks ladies. All of you said some great and valid things. (smile)
I am just so bummed out that I could mean that little to a person who meant so much to me that I put her ahead of my own sisters! And to cancel on me via email is just so innapropriate.
I had no intension of responding to her email, but my friend said that is to predictable and do not let her have that upper hand. So i plan to respond like this:
'I received your email. Thank you for notifying me so far in advance so I can make other arrangements for my bridal party. Hope you have a pleasant week and have a happy birthday.'
ktcafaro
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Posted by Positanochick
That sucks - soo sorry this happened!! You do realize who you're true friends are in situations like these. It's a wedding, it's not like it happens overnight so how about planning ahead financially for things and like you said take 1 less vacation - ughh that really sucks and to do it via email to boot!!!! How do you even respond to that??
EXACTLY! it is even more upsetting that she felt it necessary to LIE and make up lame excuses. The only reason she would be unable to be my MOH financially is if she is to selfish to cut out one shopping spree a month. This is a girl who lives at home, who has no rent at all. Come on! REALLY?
AND HOW DOES ONE RESPOND? I want to be an adult, and I do not want to give her the opportunity to go further. UGH!
Soapgirl4ever
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sorry your going thru this ..
ktcafaro
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Posted by angelscri
So sorry you are going through this, Thankfully she told you early enough for you to pick another MOH deserving of the honor. I wouldn't put her in my BP at all, because there is a certain amount of responsibility that comes with being a BM.
Exactly! I don't understand how you can email me and say 'i cant be your MOH because i feel you deserve somebody to spoil you and be there for you. and financially right now I just cant be there how i should...' and then ask to be in my BP. Im sorry, maybe I have a misconeption, but the entire BP has a committment and responsibility. And the entire BP puts forth money. Its all BS! she knew it would upset me, and she knew id be mad. and i know she expecting me to 'react' and I wont.
FutureMRS.Benn
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
I got the same kind of email as well. It sucks when you think a friend that says she will always be there just cant be. I am still upset over it. I don't think I will ever be over it.
Keep Smiling!!! You're not alone!!
ktcafaro
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Posted by SoontobeMrs.Brown
Im sorry you are going through that. You are going to find out a lot about people during this time. People who you thought were your best friends will fail you and those who you werent so close to you'll see how they will come through. Ive lost a lot of friends before our wedding. But Im glad I found out the true colors. Hang in there and enjoy this time .. Trim the fat - you dont need additional stress.
Congratulations newley wed!
ktcafaro
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Posted by FutureMRS.Benn
I got the same kind of email as well. It sucks when you think a friend that says she will always be there just cant be. I am still upset over it. I don't think I will ever be over it.
Keep Smiling!!! You're not alone!!
do you keep her in the BP?
ktcafaro
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Posted by win01
I would NOT let her see it bothers me..Of course it does, but forget it..>Tell her, thank you for letting me know, and don't worry about being in the bridal party, and the EXPENSE is the same for dresses etc.. You don't want to put her out etc.
Don't let it bother you or effect your planning...Stuff pops up during the process that you will have to deal with as it is... I know as I am getting married Sat and had calls and emails last night to deal with by people who 'love' me..ugh.
Good Luck Tomorrow! how exciting. thank you for taking the time to respond to me!
FutureMRS.Benn
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Posted by ktcafaro
Posted by FutureMRS.Benn
I got the same kind of email as well. It sucks when you think a friend that says she will always be there just cant be. I am still upset over it. I don't think I will ever be over it.
Keep Smiling!!! You're not alone!!
do you keep her in the BP?
NOPE. I didn't even offer to. I just needed to move on and I know she cant help her financial situation so I didn't want to drag on the fight. You know. But its been weeks and I am still very sad over it!!!
ktcafaro
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Posted by FutureMRS.Benn
Posted by ktcafaro
Posted by FutureMRS.Benn
I got the same kind of email as well. It sucks when you think a friend that says she will always be there just cant be. I am still upset over it. I don't think I will ever be over it.
Keep Smiling!!! You're not alone!!
do you keep her in the BP?
NOPE. I didn't even offer to. I just needed to move on and I know she cant help her financial situation so I didn't want to drag on the fight. You know. But its been weeks and I am still very sad over it!!!
Im sorry. Sucks. You know, I have friends in my BP that are just starting out or in school. And if they came to me (FACE) and said 'i really don't know if i can afford...' I would totally understand because it is a very big committment. BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT when the ONE friend you have, who is FINE. who goes shopping and books vacation like a part-time job EMAILS me and LIES.... diff story.
honestly, because i know her, i just think she doesnt wanna deal with it. so why not just be on the sideline as a BM.
how about just be on the sideline as a GUEST!
MAYBE!
FH says 'dont even invite her, shes so selfish fuk her'
annabellagirl
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eeek im sorry sweetie! she doesnt deserve to be your MOH then!
halfbaked
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I hate to say it.... but you're better off. I only WISH my MOH stepped down.
ktcafaro
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Posted by jilliibabii
I hate to say it.... but you're better off. I only WISH my MOH stepped down.
yeah, better now than later.
bubblichik
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Re: My MOH broke up with me via email!
Wow! Although in the long run it is so much better that she said this **** now then after the wedding and she would be part of everything by then.
I am so sorry, that is so wrong :(
MrsInglima
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Posted by headovaheels119
Omg I so sorry.... I noticed your true friends come out during this time... I lost I BM that's I known for 3years and another I knew for 10 years.......
Unfortunately this is definitely true. I lost one of my BMs as well. It's really upsetting to think that this person who you love and want to stand beside you on the most important day of your life might not be there for long, but it does happen.
