Okay, so my MOH had never heard of a shower being a surprise, the bride was always the one who invited her. She was kinda getting tense/strange about it, so I said fine, just let me know the date and nothing else about it.
But then I email her and say that I do want it to be a surprise, because with all the stuff coming up, it would be nice to have something that i don't have to think about. And my micromanagaing/obsessing tendences would come into play if I knew the date. Also I would get nervous. And she says that it would be really hard because I have such a crazy schedule and my family and FI aren't reliable as to where I'm gonna be on a given day and etc.
My schedule isn't that crazy, but she insists on thinking that it is.
Okay, so should I insist on this being a surprise like I want, or just let her tell me the day so that she calms down. I'm grateful to her for doing this for me, so should I just let it go?
bridget&jimmy
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Let her suprise you, there are very few suprises in life.
Bridget
Lorena
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
If you want to be surprised than insist - this is your only chance! Maybe you can relax her by having your FH or family help make sure that you will stay available for the day she chooses. You may end up figuring it out in the end but at least there will be some uncertainty to make it more fun & less work for you.
nsgraham
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Yes!! you have the right to be and should be surprised
paulandles912
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
My MOH not only wanted my shower to not be a surprise, she had me calling around to places and pricing out particular days for her!
She told me that only young (to her - meaning early 20s) brides are supposed to have surprise showers.
Its ended up that I am aware of the date of it, but nothing else. I've asked to be as surprised about everything else as possible, b/c that's what I want.
If I were you I would insist that she keep you out of the loop....
MegLehner
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
I understand how you feel - I cant have a surprise because I have to be ny in order for there to be a shower. So i know the weekend, but I am not going to know any of the details (although I hinted that I wanted a mexican fiesta theme). So if you 'have' to know the date you can asked your MOH to leave everything else a surprise.
NYCMeghan
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Posted by lilqtny
Yes!! you have the right to be and should be surprised
Where is it written that it is the brides RIGHT to be surprised? I think it is very kind of your MOH to plan anything at all and that you should have her do it as she is comfortable. Perhaps she is afraid of letting you down, and a surprise is just another stress. I think that all of us brides can get it in our heads that things SHOULD be a certain way - like a surprise shower, but really its not fair to those who are helping us and supporting us. Let her not surprise you, tell you the date and YOU be the bigger person and not try to micromanage it.
tourist
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
could we switch ? She can plan mine, i don't want to be surprised.
Seriously, would it kill the fun for you if you gave her a choice of dates, and let her semi-surprise you?
Sonicstef
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
I think you should be able to havea surprise if you want it BUT you will not be able to get her to make it a surprise if she doesnt want to go along. Keeping it a surprise is a lot of work. So I would just let her do whatever she wants and try to stay as uninvolved as possible so some of it is a surprise.
jessicae129
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
hmmm...this is a tough one. On the one hand, its common to be surprised (or at least the BP tries to suprise you). But on the other hand, MOH is a huge job so we need to give her some consideration. I say talk with her calmly, explaining how much it would mean to you for your wedding...if she puts up more of a fight, just let it go. Just think its worth a shot to bring it up again. Good luck!
JimmysBride
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Posted by tourist
Seriously, would it kill the fun for you if you gave her a choice of dates, and let her semi-surprise you?
I like this idea! You get the best of both worlds. She doesn't have to worry about your busy schedule and you won't know exactly when it is!
nsgraham
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
Okay, it's a Sunday in April or May. I have blocked them all out, so now it's a semi-surprise.
Thanks everyone!
butterfly20
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Re: My MOH doesn't want to make my shower a surprise
let it be a surprise...... perhaps you could give her a bunch of dates where you are free.....so that she doesnt have to worry about your schedualing problems..
