MY MOH IS DRIVING ME NUTS TOO!!!!! (long vent sorry)

We've been friends since the crib! I was her MOH 5 years ago. Her mom is a flake - so I threw (organized and paid for) the shower. I did what ever she asked (wore the dress she picked, got my make up and hair done at the most expensive salon, etc.) - just to make sure her day was special! What to do I get in return? AGGRAVATION!

I ask her to give me ONE day to go dress shopping...it's like pulling teeth. I told her that I want her to have her hair and make up done (as she asked me to do) - she said she doesn't want to. I offered to pay for it - she doesn't want me to pay for it - but she doesn't want to do it. As I mentioned from a previous post - she'll only get a dress with long sleeves or a jacket!! I only have 2 girls and I want them to wear the same thing. I asked her to compromise and wear a shawl...she doesn't want to do that either.

I'm about to tell her to GET LOST!!!!

I don't have the support of either parent - you'd think my best friend would help me out.

I'm about to cry! This stinks!

Have you reminded her about all that you happily did for her wedding? At least the dress and hair part? It's your wedding and she needs to shape up. Maybe a little heart-to-heart talk is in order.

So sorry to hear you are having trouble. i am blessed with a great MOH that has been so very helpful with everything. I would talk to her...Tell her how you feel and that you need her there for you and support your decisions...I would not bring up all you did for her 5 years ago that would not be right but tell her that it is a very important day and this is what you want and need her to do...stop giving her the option and tell her what is going to be done. good luck

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Posted by jj04

So sorry to hear you are having trouble. i am blessed with a great MOH that has been so very helpful with everything.

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I am too. I am sooooooooooooooo sorry for her to be acting like this. PLEASE talk to her and remind her of all you did to make her happy on her wedding day.

I told her that 'I'm sorry if I seem 'demanding' in anyway, but there are certain things that I want that would make my day special - just as you did when you got married. '

She's annoyed. I don't know why. She said that when I'm married, with a house and kids I'd understand. Not sure what she meant by that!!

I offered to pay for it as part of the gift - that's all I can do. Should I ask her if she regrets accepting? Maybe it's too much stress for her.

I would just tell her that you are going shopping on this day and if she can't make it then let her know that you will forward her the dress style and color.

I live in LA and my BM are mainly in NY. So, I tried on the BM dresses myself and then told everyone what to order. It made my life a lot easier and if they don't like it too bad. You can't please everyone and afterall, how many of us have been forced to where those horrible 80's style BM dresses of the past. It is part of the experience! (Not that yours look like that).

As others are saying, I would really just try to have a heart to heart with her. Remind her of all you went through and did with her wedding, and that she realized when she accepted the responsibilities that go along with being a MOH. If you are willing to accept the consequences, I would ask her if she wants to continue being the MOH - because if not, IMO, she's better dropping out now before you start depending on her and she has more responsibilties later on. I went through a similar situation about 2 months ago with my MOH who is my younger sister - she is 22 so I don't think it's for lack of caring, but just not knowing what to do, etc. I was so upset and was about to kick her out and we had a heart to heart and cleared the air - and bottom line - she's still my MOH! Good luck with whatever ends up happening!

It's a shame she's acting like this. I would talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask her if her personal life doesn't give her the time to devote to your wedding.

Thank you girls for the great advice.

I just sent her a note asking her if everything is ok with her and that if something is bothering her to please just talk to me about it. I would understand if she needed to back out, I just don't want resentment.

I'll let you know what happens.

Thanks again.