My mom won't 'let' my younger sister go to the GYN....UPDATE

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Posted by FTRBRIDE

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Posted by boobobunny

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by boobobunny
# 1 Breast Cancer rate in the world....

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#1 in the world!? that seems a little hard to believe.

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check the stats....I have read this a # of times through the yrs.

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It is true. Breast Cancer rates are absolutely astronomical on LI.

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Yes, higher than the national average, but I would like someone to show me where it says it is the highest in the world.

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Posted by KathleenG

IMO, you need to have a serious conversation with your mom. It is very important that your sister go at that age regardless of problems with her period, being sexually active etc..... If there are any issues it is very important to have them cleared up. You need to explain to your mom VERY SERIOUSLY, that this sort of thing is very important for your sister's health. Your mom should be encouraging this, not discouraging it. Good luck!!!! If your mom still resists, than I strongly believe you, by all means, should be the one encouraging your sis. If anything, this should help and encourage your sis to take care of herself in the future, she is still young and needs to have the message that taking charge of her health is important.

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I agree, well said!

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Posted by boobobunny

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by boobobunny
# 1 Breast Cancer rate in the world....

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#1 in the world!? that seems a little hard to believe.

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check the stats....I have read this a # of times through the yrs.

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It's true... however, the reason is probably because LI is such a small area with a VERY high concentration of ashkenazi jews and other similar European descents, where breast cancer has a higher frequency...

Edited to say, I don't know about the entire world, but I know that LI has particularly high rates...

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Posted by Jan05Bride

she can go to planned parenthood but I don;t think that's the best place for her. A good gyn is really the best place for her.

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Actually, I used to work at PP, and the above statement is not true. Many of the GYNs at PP work at other private gyn offices on LI and put in 1 day a week at PP. You would have no idea if your 'good gyn' also worked for PP. Your sister will receive the same care there.

The other girls are correct- they do work on a sliding scale basis, and they will work with you for payments based upon your income. It still will cost her a lot more than her $10-$20 copay for a regular office visit...my insurance even allows me 3 wellness visits at the gyn per year with no copay.

Your sister really needs to make her own decisions here though, and not take into account your mother's feelings. Like someone else said, she could not tell your Mom that she is going, and your Mom wouldn't find out until an insurance statement came anyway. Do you really think that because your Mom doesn't want your sister to have sex she will take your sister off of her insurance plan? I really don't think she would take a risk like that.

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Posted by bxgell2

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Posted by boobobunny

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by boobobunny
# 1 Breast Cancer rate in the world....

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#1 in the world!? that seems a little hard to believe.

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check the stats....I have read this a # of times through the yrs.

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It's true... however, the reason is probably because LI is such a small area with a VERY high concentration of ashkenazi jews and other similar European descents, where breast cancer has a higher frequency...

Edited to say, I don't know about the entire world, but I know that LI has particularly high rates...

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I didn't realize she said the highest in the 'world', but I don't think that is really relevant. What is relevant, in my opinion, is that the risk of breast cancer to women living on LI is VERY high. They have run studies for years on everything from pestisides, european descendants, power lines, etc., and scientists still have no idea why the rate is so high.

she needs to go. that is a little naive of your mom- my sis had 1 bf and she got pre-cancer cells. i had precancer cells too and it really affected my life.

thank god we both go regularly to the gyn.

you mom should force her to go.
if she doesnt , try to make her go yourself or go with her.

please - hpv and other std are running rampant here. i urge you to take your sister to the gyn asap for a pap smear.

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Posted by FTRBRIDE
I didn't realize she said the highest in the 'world', but I don't think that is really relevant. What is relevant, in my opinion, is that the risk of breast cancer to women living on LI is VERY high. They have run studies for years on everything from pestisides, european descendants, power lines, etc., and scientists still have no idea why the rate is so high.

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I guess it just bothers me when such sweeping generalizations are issued with no facts to back them up. Yes, the rate is high. Yes, we should all get checked. Is it the highest in the world? I really doubt it. But, it's true, we should all be concerned.

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Posted by nov04LIbride

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Posted by boobobunny
# 1 Breast Cancer rate in the world....

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#1 in the world!? that seems a little hard to believe.

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sorry I was wrong....1 in the nation...top 7 in the world....The study I just read also mentioned that if you are already in a high risk group and move to LI you increase the chance of getting Breast Cancer...but they have no idea why.

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Posted by boobobunny
sorry I was wrong....1 in the nation...top 7 in the world....The study I just read also mentioned that if you are already in a high risk group and move to LI you increase the chance of getting Breast Cancer...but they have no idea why.

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What's the link for that? I'd like to read up more. Thanks!

Most doctors recommend that women have annual pelvic exams beginning at age 18, whether or not the woman is sexually active.

By not 'letting' your sister see a doctor, she is robbing your sister of the chance to find something early, should her irregular peiods be caused by something that needs treatment.

She's also setting a bad example for your sister by discouraging her from following the guidelines doctors have established for these kinds of health screens.

Besides, a gyn does not automatically prescribe the pill to everyone that walks through the door...

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Posted by boobobunny

My sister has a serious case of endometrious....

your sister may have nothing wrong...but none the less she should know that for sure...so that she has the oppurtunity to make her own decisions if anything is wrong....she will never forgive your mother if something is wrong now....that she could done something about.

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I have that condition too and it is not at all fun - I had it for 3 years before i went and had it diagnosed. I waited because I was scared to tell my mom that I wanted to go to the GYN. If they'd caught it earlier I would be a whole lot better now. 50% of women who have it become infertile. I would hate for your sister to not go and God forbid find out that she really needed to go earlier. Tell her to go - her health is the most important thing - your mom will get over it.

my mom is the SAME way. I mentioend going to the gym once when i was 19 or 20, I just said something like 'they say you're supposed to go when you're 18' and she FREAKED out and said 'Why would you need to go' blah blah blah. I'm 23 and I still haven't gone, but now that I'm off her insurance I'm going to go. Thankfully I've never had any problems. I had one problem once but my regular doc said I'd only need to go to the gyn if it happenned again. Now the physicians assistant at my doctoe's office (She a little older than I am) is constantly telling me I have to go to the GYN, and I really need to go. She's right. Everyone should. Your fertility is too important and too precious a gift to neglect.

Maybe you can sit down with your mom and bring her some research and explain to her that you read that in so many cases, it's an indiciaton of this problem, and it can be solved this percent of the time by early diagnosis, etc... Let your mom know that your sister isn't loking for an excuse to go on BC< and that the doctor can't force her to, and if the doctor does recommend it, then it will be for health reasons only and that the pros and cons will be discussed, etc. Assure your mom that you are a positive role model for your sister and that you wouldn't let her be steered wrong.

I think you can be an important part in this, if you speak on your siste'rs behalf. My cousin has been on BC since she was 13..and as far as I know she wasn't having sex until much much later. She needed it b/c of her periods. I know other people who had to go on BC at a young age because they had cery ehavy periods and cramps.. BC is used for a million things these days.

*hugs* I hope you can convince your mom. it's really great that you are so concerned for your sister. She needs your support. I know what it's like dealing with my mom, and it really makes you feel powerless.

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Posted by marymoon

my mom is the SAME way. I mentioend going to the gym once when i was 19 or 20, I just said something like 'they say you're supposed to go when you're 18' and she FREAKED out and said 'Why would you need to go' blah blah blah. I'm 23 and I still haven't gone, but now that I'm off her insurance I'm going to go. Thankfully I've never had any problems. I had one problem once but my regular doc said I'd only need to go to the gyn if it happenned again. Now the physicians assistant at my doctoe's office (She a little older than I am) is constantly telling me I have to go to the GYN, and I really need to go. She's right. Everyone should. Your fertility is too important and too precious a gift to neglect.

Maybe you can sit down with your mom and bring her some research and explain to her that you read that in so many cases, it's an indiciaton of this problem, and it can be solved this percent of the time by early diagnosis, etc... Let your mom know that your sister isn't loking for an excuse to go on BC< and that the doctor can't force her to, and if the doctor does recommend it, then it will be for health reasons only and that the pros and cons will be discussed, etc. Assure your mom that you are a positive role model for your sister and that you wouldn't let her be steered wrong.

I think you can be an important part in this, if you speak on your siste'rs behalf. My cousin has been on BC since she was 13..and as far as I know she wasn't having sex until much much later. She needed it b/c of her periods. I know other people who had to go on BC at a young age because they had cery ehavy periods and cramps.. BC is used for a million things these days.

*hugs* I hope you can convince your mom. it's really great that you are so concerned for your sister. She needs your support. I know what it's like dealing with my mom, and it really makes you feel powerless.

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Thank you Jenn you know how it is!

My younger cousin is 19 also and had recently not gotten her period since the end of January (she finally got it 2 weeks ago). She had been wanting to go to the GYN and too afraid to tell her mom although she tried dropping hints. I mentioned it to my aunt and she made a comment to the affect that if she weren't screwing around she wouldn't need to go. So I reminded my aunt that there could be other things going on in there that may not have anything to do with sex. I know from experience because I have fibroids. Anyhow, she didn't do anything about it until my cousin started to have sharp pains every now and then andhad another issue where she needed to get an MRI and the technician did not let her get it done because she had not gotten her period. To make a really long story a lil shorter...
My aunt finally told my cousin to make an appointment and the Dr. didn't find anything wrong with her by just checking her but he had her schedule a Sonogram to get a good look inside.
She received a phone call today and it was the Dr. telling her that she has 2 cysts (1 on each side).

PP isn't free. They charge you (or use your inurance) However they are on a sliding scale depending how much you make. So everyone's price is different!

well, I'm glad she is going. I think it is a good compromise for now. Your mom's reasoning about the pill isn't good, but she may not have to go on the pill. Some dr's are ok with irrregualr periods, if it is just hormonal & she is getting it eventually.

I was told it was optional.

I'm so glad to hear your mother's taking her. Good for you for being open and honest with her about it!