I guess this is a mini vent. I'm having a lot of trouble finding a dress and I think it is because my mother is making a huge issue about the price of the dress. She won't even comment whether she likes it or not until she has looked at the price tag At this point I'm considering just buying the dress myself because the stress of her financial issues is going to drive me insane. Is this rude of me? I feel a little ungrateful but she's making this so hard for me. Oh and I should add that I would NEVER get any dress more than $2000, the dresses I'm looking at are more in the $1000 to $1500 range, which I think is very reasonable. I'd love to hear your opinions on this.
AmandaLynn04
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
I think your price range is very realistic, and just fine.
What is your mothers idea of a price range?
And, have you discussed this with her at all?
yelley77
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
If it is stressing you out that much, maybe you should think about purchasing it yourself and maybe letting her put that money towrads flowers, or your day of accesories (veil, shoes, undergarmetns, head peice, jewelry) or maybe towards your hair and make-up! I truly believe that if you found a dress you love and it is in your price range, you should get it.
If that doesn't work, maybe sit down with her and ask her what her realistic budget is... if it's $1,000, maybe you can say, ok, we'll split the cost of the dress. let her pay $1,000 and you pay the rest.
Just a few thoughts
kBr
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
maybe if you tell her you will pay whatever difference there is between your dress price and what she is willing to pay? i wouldnt wanna see you settle on a dress you dont absolutely love just because its too expensive for her... good luck!
Butterfly123
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Maybe you should go on your own, pick out a few dresses that are within her price range and then bring her along. I would be so annoyed too! But what can you do. Did you talk to her about how you feel?? Is her price range the same as yours??
Julybride08
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
You can always ask her what she can contribute and then you can pay the rest
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by AmandaLynn04
I think your price range is very realistic, and just fine.
What is your mothers idea of a price range?
And, have you discussed this with her at all?
I think my mothers idea of a price range is $1 to $3. I don't even know if she has a price range I feel like everything I try on is a problem so I think that her price range is seriously $1 to $3.
jgl
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
unfortunetly sometimes i feel like we can never please them.. my mom is giving me a hard time about my hair for epics.. so i can only imagine how youare feeling.
I think you should go with a friend who is honest and try on the dresses YOU liked. then make a decision and buy it. just lie and tell your mom it was in a price range she thinks is good haha
AmandaLynn04
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by AmandaLynn04
I think your price range is very realistic, and just fine.
What is your mothers idea of a price range?
And, have you discussed this with her at all?
I think my mothers idea of a price range is $1 to $3. I don't even know if she has a price range I feel like everything I try on is a problem so I think that her price range is seriously $1 to $3.
Ugh.... that stinks.
Maybe then ask her what she is willing to spend, and then you pay for the rest. Then, everyone is happy!
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by yelley77
If it is stressing you out that much, maybe you should think about purchasing it yourself and maybe letting her put that money towrads flowers, or your day of accesories (veil, shoes, undergarmetns, head peice, jewelry) or maybe towards your hair and make-up! I truly believe that if you found a dress you love and it is in your price range, you should get it.
If that doesn't work, maybe sit down with her and ask her what her realistic budget is... if it's $1,000, maybe you can say, ok, we'll split the cost of the dress. let her pay $1,000 and you pay the rest.
Just a few thoughts
I was thinking of this, buying my dress and have her pay for flowers but I think she really wanted to buy me my dress. I feel like she thinks it is something a mother just does for her daughter when she gets married so I feel bad taking that away from her but I might have to on account of my sanity!
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by Julybride08
You can always ask her what she can contribute and then you can pay the rest
thanks I actually just called her because it was bothering me so much and she said she'd contribute $1000 towards the dress, so I think her budget was under $1000. I guess that works
yelley77
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by yelley77
If it is stressing you out that much, maybe you should think about purchasing it yourself and maybe letting her put that money towrads flowers, or your day of accesories (veil, shoes, undergarmetns, head peice, jewelry) or maybe towards your hair and make-up! I truly believe that if you found a dress you love and it is in your price range, you should get it.
If that doesn't work, maybe sit down with her and ask her what her realistic budget is... if it's $1,000, maybe you can say, ok, we'll split the cost of the dress. let her pay $1,000 and you pay the rest.
Just a few thoughts
I was thinking of this, buying my dress and have her pay for flowers but I think she really wanted to buy me my dress. I feel like she thinks it is something a mother just does for her daughter when she gets married so I feel bad taking that away from her but I might have to on account of my sanity!
and finding a dress that you love!! I agree with someone said earlier. Maybe go on your own, find 3-4 you like and then bring her back, tell her this is what you narrowed it down to and you want her opinion. Maybe then it won't be an option, know what i mean?
KitWisdom
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
I’ve heard that you should expact to pay around 10% of your budget for your dress (or maybe it was don’t go over 10%?) Either way, do you think if she knew that the norm was, she would relax a bit?
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by KitWisdom
I’ve heard that you should expact to pay around 10% of your budget for your dress (or maybe it was don’t go over 10%?) Either way, do you think if she knew that the norm was, she would relax a bit?
nope, she wouldn't, she is nuts. This is the only thing she is contributing for the wedding so you can see why I'm a bit upset. FH and I are shelling out a lot of money that we don't even have and she can't even splurge on a dress (and by splurge I mean nothing over $1500)
Mizzdimple
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Ive had the same problem, I knew my mom is on a budget and it was very important to her to buy it for me., I couldnt even go buy it myself b/c she would feel offended....I just happened to pick a decent priced dress....which is in ur range., Iyour range is not unreasonalbe....maybe suggest to pay for half?
Make sure its okay with her and she wont be offended.
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by Mizzdimple
Ive had the same problem, I knew my mom is on a budget and it was very important to her to buy it for me., I couldnt even go buy it myself b/c she would feel offended....I just happened to pick a decent priced dress....which is in ur range., Iyour range is not unreasonalbe....maybe suggest to pay for half?
Make sure its okay with her and she wont be offended.
thanks, I did speak to her and she said she'd pay $1000 and i can pay the rest. Where did you find your dress?
Snowflake08
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
your price range is totally normal
did she say she was going to buy it?? if so, let her give $$ towards it - whatever she was willing to spend
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
my mom & I are the oposite of you & your mom, My dress was in that range & the veil was a few hundred, but according to my mom I HAD to get them. After I cancelled the order on my 1st dress I was going to get a basic mermaid off the rack from Nordstrom for a few hundred.
Have you & ur mom tried jessica McClintock, (in addition to the store in Roosevelt, Cache (americana) also carries her bridal line & they are really reasonablly priced. Maybe a compromise
MikeandJess
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Re: my mother is driving me nuts (dress related)
Posted by Snowflake08
your price range is totally normal
did she say she was going to buy it?? if so, let her give $$ towards it - whatever she was willing to spend
thanks laura! She just called and felt bad and said she'd buy it for me, I found one I really liked yesterday but now I feel like I conned her into it! I'll just pay for everything else, headpiece, veil, alterations.
