My parents are so mean

Charly Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:19 PM

My parents are so mean

I've been engaged since September and my father has yet to say congratulations! My mother wants nothing to do with me - she's just always angry at me.

I KNOW that it has nothing to do with my FH or the fact that I'm getting married. They just resent me for some reason and always have. We are paying for the whole thing ourselves - I wouldn't ask them for anything.

It's just so sad to go through the happiest time of your life feeling so alone!!!

Sorry had to vent so I don't cry at my desk!

DrmnBlnd Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:21 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

I'm sorry you are feeling like this!!

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

I am so sorry. DH's family was like this to an extent and it hurts and there's nothing anyone can say.

We are here for you and we are very excited too

julz33 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

My father is the same way. He deserted my family about 5 years ago. Now he lives in Kansas with some woman he met on the internet. He has nothing to do with me, my sister, or my brother. In fact he doesn't even know I set a date and he is definately not being invited to the wedding!
So I know how you feel. It sux but just think about all your other family and friends who will be there and love you. You are not alone!

NYCHICK Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

my mother was hum-drum when i was engaged too, you feel that way because you always imagined that it would be a great touching moments and then the reality of your parents sets in and you are dissapointed. You are DEFINTELTY NOT ALONE. congratulations on your wonderful day

neesiepie Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

My mom starting acting all distant and wierd when I got engaged...I didnt get the enthusiastic response I thought I would. Maybe your mom feels abandoned. I would try and include them in some of your plans...not all, but maybe go with your mom to look at dresses. or ASK them why they are so BLAH about the whole thing...

jen110704 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:24 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

To everyone who feels that way.

Charly Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:27 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

Thanks girls!!

I've tried to include her - I know she can't help financially - but I took her to dinner at the Westbury Manor prior to making the decsion, I asked her to see bands with us, etc. Actually we are going to see a band tomorrow and out of nowhere she sends me a nasty email this morning that she's not coming. That's what started this - I didn't do anything wrong. She just basically said she doesn't want any part of this. I told her that its her choice and she'll have to live with consequences.

Edited to make sense

brideinapril Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:28 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

How awful for you

jvs77 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:38 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

Pookiesangel Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:39 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

I'm sorry your going through this, I hope she realizes what's she's doing to you and how it can damage your future relationship.

My FH's mom gives him a hard time, so I totally understand

Donna Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:45 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

sorry you have to deal with this...

neesiepie Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:53 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

your mom flat out told you she wants NOTHING to do with your WEDDING? Are you SERIOUS???? Why would she say that? Does she NOT like your fiance? Something is definitely wrong, here....

Charly Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:11 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

Well - yeah pretty much. I spoke to her Saturday - we agreed to go see the band together and then today I get a one line email - that she's not coming and we'll do fine planning the wedding on our own. Nothing else. She won't accept my calls - I have no idea.

I have to agree with you that something is wrong - but if she doesn't want to tell me then your guess is as good as mine!!

neesiepie Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:16 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

well, ignoring it is making it worse in the long run. If it's possible, I would flat out ask HER what HER problem is! She is acting childish and it seems to me she is trying to get a rise out of you by sending you one-liner emails and not answering your calls. If she keeps this up, it WILL blow up sooner or later and then it will be a WAR between you and her...I know from experience. Or maybe you can talk to another relative about what is wrong. Maybe an aunt or uncle who might be able to talk to your parents on your behalf...I do that with my aunt...and then she talks to my mom and it works out fine in the end.
Good luck!

spazybride04 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:17 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

skew Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:18 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

that's is HORRIBLE. my parents and FI's have been SO unbelievable supportive, i couldn't imagine them having ill-feelings.

cocoa Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:18 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

we got engaged in june and it took awhile for my g-parents to warm up to it. i think that my g-pa can't handle any of his kids growing up. i talk to my mom about it and i think it is a grieving thing...there could be a million reasons why they act this way...money, financial stability, ethnicity, previous ways of living, religion, or just moodiness. i wish you luck!

MrsNYPDsGirl Posted: Feb 17, 2004 03:49 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

I agree with neesiepie. Give her a day or two to cool off and think things over and then try to approach her again to find out what's bothering her. The more time that passes, the harder it will be to make amends (I know that from experience). Good luck, and remember that all of the LIW girls are excited and happy to help you with all of your wedding planning!!

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:13 PM

Re: My parents are so mean

did you think that maybe it could be the fact that she cant help you financially and feels guilty going places with you because of it? sometimes parents feel like they failed when they cant help there kids so that could be the case. but i would go to her and talk to her and just air out everything because planning a wedding is hard enough without having to deal with this. you have to tell her that you know she cant help out with money but you want her to be included anyway and if she wants she can help you in other ways like mailing inviations wrapping favors running errands with you. i hope it works out