My personal housing situation

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Posted by Danielle2207


Are you even allowed to use student loans for something other than school?

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They do send you a check sometimes but that money has to be paid to the school. If the school isn't getting it how are you still going there?

One more thing, Why do you have student loans??? Dont you need to have a job and good credit to get a loan? When you don't have money you basically go to school for free, the state gives you financial aid.

I am sorry, i am just having a hard time believing this whole story. It really doesn't add up.

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Actually you don't go to school for free just because you don't have money. You can get SOME financial aid, but everyone usually must take out loans. Furthermore, loans make up more of financial aid packages than anything else these days.

I don't know the details of arosa's situation, but let's not paint people in black or white (i.e. if arosa is living in shelter, but she is going to grad school, then she is taking advantage of the system) As we all know there is a lot of GRAY area involved with most people's situations.

However I do agree with the sentiment that having a wedding when you don't have a place to live should not be your top priority.

arosa-I wish you luck whatever you decide to do, but hopefully, when you use your savings you will use them for your future!

You said it yourself

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you could not be in a homeless shelter unless you really needed to be in it

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so if you're there then you need to be right???? SO WHY THE HECK ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT A WEDDING???

Get your priorites in check then come back with the sob stories...sorry this post makes me sooo mad

Plenty of people don't have it easy...but I highly doubt there is any thought about wedding planning when they live in a shelter...as stated by another person...there are people out there who really NEED to be in a shelter...and another thing...how is it that you have 'student loans' without a job??? or any finanical backing????

There is one thing I don't understand but maybe because you're family and friends have a different view of your situation. You say that both you and FH would love a reception with friends and family...while that is a most understandable request...how do they all attend and party it up KNOWING your living situation? If my friend or sister threw a wedding and I knew she was living in a shelter it would break my heart. I would be the first to tell her at the very thought of a reception 'how can you do that when you can put the $$ towards housing?'. Everyone at my wedding would feel that way. There wouldn't be a wedding in the first place cause they wouldn't allow it.

I'm not sure of your complete picture, i mean, it just seems a little off. If its 100% true I feel badly and I know it must not be easy for you. But stop chatting on wedding boards and feeling sorry you can't do these things right now and be proactive in finding somewhere to live and then and only then when you've both secured jobs, think about a reception. How much better will you feel at a reception where you can go to a home or apartnent, bring all your gifts, and call it your very own?? Without the weight of living in a shelter hanging over your head? Your head must be so muddled with 'what ifs' and the delusion that a wedding will make you both feel great. I promise you, that if you take the step you need to take someday when you do have that great reception it will be so worth it. good luck.

After reading everyone's posts and coming to my own conclusions I have one question:

Where are you going to go on your honeymoon?

All right, I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about the poster's situation. Ladies, we don't know all the facts, nor should we. Why the nastiness though? If you don't agree with the poster's decisions, you don't agree. How is this person hurting any of us?

There are a few things I do know.

While it helps to have a job to get a job, no one can support themselves on a McDonald's job, or not for long. If in doubt, read Nickel and Dimed. It shows many people earning well above minimum wage still can't get by.

Once you lose your permanent address, landlords are reluctant (somewhat understandably) to rent to you. In a competitive area of the country for housing, this becomes even more difficult.

Apply for housing suggestions--while this sounds good in theory, if you worked and earned a decent salary (above $9000 for low income, I believe it's $17500 for middle) last year, you do not qualify. You have to submit income tax statements to qualify, and if you earned too much even if you earn zilch now, you won't get it. Also, there are very long waits for this housing, particularly in NYC.

The system is set up to help those earning next to nothing or not doing much or anything. What qualifies are low and middle income in NYC is appalling--I'm not sure what it is in LI.

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Posted by jcb710

After reading everyone's posts and coming to my own conclusions I have one question:

Where are you going to go on your honeymoon?

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Posted by cjik

All right, I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about the poster's situation. Ladies, we don't know all the facts, nor should we. Why the nastiness though? If you don't agree with the poster's decisions, you don't agree. How is this person hurting any of us?

There are a few things I do know.

While it helps to have a job to get a job, no one can support themselves on a McDonald's job, or not for long. If in doubt, read Nickel and Dimed. It shows many people earning well above minimum wage still can't get by.

Once you lose your permanent address, landlords are reluctant (somewhat understandably) to rent to you. In a competitive area of the country for housing, this becomes even more difficult.

Apply for housing suggestions--while this sounds good in theory, if you worked and earned a decent salary (above $9000 for low income, I believe it's $17500 for middle) last year, you do not qualify. You have to submit income tax statements to qualify, and if you earned too much even if you earn zilch now, you won't get it. Also, there are very long waits for this housing, particularly in NYC.

The system is set up to help those earning next to nothing or not doing much or anything. What qualifies are low and middle income in NYC is appalling--I'm not sure what it is in LI.

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How is she hurting us,,you ask???
We are tax payers....we are working our azzes off to support her ...

ETA; I am the first to feel bad for someone and the first to give someone my last penny..But when I read something like this..I just cant help to feel angry. A wedding right now should be the last thing on her mind....be happy that you have a man that loves you and wonderful healthy child..that should mean more than a weddin reception

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Posted by Johnny&Maur

But stop chatting on wedding boards and feeling sorry you can't do these things right now and be proactive in finding somewhere to live and then and only then when you've both secured jobs, think about a reception.

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Well said!! Finding safe secure housing should be your ONE AND ONLY priority!!!! PERIOD!!

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Posted by cjik

All right, I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about the poster's situation. Ladies, we don't know all the facts, nor should we. Why the nastiness though? If you don't agree with the poster's decisions, you don't agree. How is this person hurting any of us?

There are a few things I do know.

While it helps to have a job to get a job, no one can support themselves on a McDonald's job, or not for long. If in doubt, read Nickel and Dimed. It shows many people earning well above minimum wage still can't get by.

Once you lose your permanent address, landlords are reluctant (somewhat understandably) to rent to you. In a competitive area of the country for housing, this becomes even more difficult.

Apply for housing suggestions--while this sounds good in theory, if you worked and earned a decent salary (above $9000 for low income, I believe it's $17500 for middle) last year, you do not qualify. You have to submit income tax statements to qualify, and if you earned too much even if you earn zilch now, you won't get it. Also, there are very long waits for this housing, particularly in NYC.

The system is set up to help those earning next to nothing or not doing much or anything. What qualifies are low and middle income in NYC is appalling--I'm not sure what it is in LI.

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I am so glad you said something like this. Whether Arosa is lying or not, the fact remains that there were some very nasty posts, coming from people who probably have never tasted real hardship in their lives. It's easy for people who have absolutely NO idea of what goes on with low income and public assistance in the first place to pass such harsh judgements....but rest assured that very few of your tax dollars goes to any of it.

It's just sad to see such venomous comments- yes finding a home should be anyone's first priority, but there are better ways of saying it. I don't come from much money at all, and everything I have I worked my BUTT off for, but this city (and it's burbs) are not kind to anyone and it is getting increasingly harder to make ends meet. This kind of post makes me count my blessings twice- once for all of the things that I have, and the second- that I am able to realize that I am blessed to have them.

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Posted by cjik

All right, I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about the poster's situation. Ladies, we don't know all the facts, nor should we. Why the nastiness though? If you don't agree with the poster's decisions, you don't agree. How is this person hurting any of us?

There are a few things I do know.

While it helps to have a job to get a job, no one can support themselves on a McDonald's job, or not for long. If in doubt, read Nickel and Dimed. It shows many people earning well above minimum wage still can't get by.

Once you lose your permanent address, landlords are reluctant (somewhat understandably) to rent to you. In a competitive area of the country for housing, this becomes even more difficult.

Apply for housing suggestions--while this sounds good in theory, if you worked and earned a decent salary (above $9000 for low income, I believe it's $17500 for middle) last year, you do not qualify. You have to submit income tax statements to qualify, and if you earned too much even if you earn zilch now, you won't get it. Also, there are very long waits for this housing, particularly in NYC.

The system is set up to help those earning next to nothing or not doing much or anything. What qualifies are low and middle income in NYC is appalling--I'm not sure what it is in LI.

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I totally understand what you are saying. But the salary requirements are a little better than that. NYCHA link

If you read the entire thread and search her previous posts, you'll see why people are angry at her. She has contradicted herself several times and has been caught. Is it a shelter or not? Where is she getting her intenet access? If she has a lower paying job like she claims (like a McDonalds, for example), how is she getting online? Where did this 10k come from? Student loans?

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Posted by JessicaM.
I am so glad you said something like this. Whether Arosa is lying or not, the fact remains that there were some very nasty posts, coming from people who probably have never tasted real hardship in their lives. It's easy for people who have absolutely NO idea of what goes on with low income and public assistance in the first place to pass such harsh judgements....but rest assured that very few of your tax dollars goes to any of it.

It's just sad to see such venomous comments- yes finding a home should be anyone's first priority, but there are better ways of saying it.

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I hear what you are saying, but I think whenever someone posts that they deserve a large wedding, or the joy of planning a large wedding, when they are living in a homeless shelter needs to step back and re-evaluate their decisions. I know more than I should about welfare programs because my mother was in charge of welfare to work programs (where the state pays half of a welfare person's salary if a company or corporation takes a chance on hiring them). But there are so many other questions...The biggest obstacles for people on welfare is that they cannot afford daycare to work and get off welfare, and they cannot afford transportation. So who is minding the baby while she is in grad school? How does she get to grad. school? How is she getting what I assume are bank loans to cover living expenses but instead of using them to live are using them to buy TWO wedding dresses?! And I know people can't support two adults and a baby on a McDonald's salary, but to me a man who hasn't been working in 4 months should take ANY job until he gets his feet on the ground. It boggles my mind that she has that much money in the bank and isn't using it to get her baby into a safer situation.

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Posted by LandJ
But many times we don't have enough history to make a fair assessment. I realy don't know Arosa's situation either, and I think it's unfair to judge her without knowing all of the facts.

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You're right, but this is someone who says she cannot live and support herself and her baby and yet she has bought TWO wedding dresses. I need to know no more history than that to call her selfish.

It is all so very sad...and in the other post, someone mentioned that it made them see the light and see how petty trying to find the perfect hairdo was.....

I completely agree that there are more important things in life, and we should be grateful for the things that are more important.....BUT!


I DESERVE to be on this site and I have EVERY RIGHT to discus and BS and even obsess about my wedding, THIS SITE WAS MADE FOR THAT!!!

I don't log on to discuss people's personal living situations, that's not what this site is for. Yes, it has become a haven, even for me, to discuss some things other than my wedding, but seriously, let's not air ALL of our laundry.

This site is my break from it all, and this post is ruining that.

Personally, I have 35K in loans to pay off, and yes, I am having the wedding of my dreams, and I am paying for it!!!! I also pay my bills, vacations, cellphone, internet access.....oh, and I even pay TAXES for other people to live off the fat of the land!

Sorry to be so blunt, but arosa, get off this site, get your act together, move south where apartments are 1/3 the price (who do you think you are, living in one of the most expensive places in the US?), and secure your future.

Either take my advice, or start decorating your cot, 'cuz you'll be in that shelter forever!!!!

Nerve!

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by cjik

All right, I think there are a lot of assumptions being made about the poster's situation. Ladies, we don't know all the facts, nor should we. Why the nastiness though? If you don't agree with the poster's decisions, you don't agree. How is this person hurting any of us?

There are a few things I do know.

While it helps to have a job to get a job, no one can support themselves on a McDonald's job, or not for long. If in doubt, read Nickel and Dimed. It shows many people earning well above minimum wage still can't get by.

Once you lose your permanent address, landlords are reluctant (somewhat understandably) to rent to you. In a competitive area of the country for housing, this becomes even more difficult.

Apply for housing suggestions--while this sounds good in theory, if you worked and earned a decent salary (above $9000 for low income, I believe it's $17500 for middle) last year, you do not qualify. You have to submit income tax statements to qualify, and if you earned too much even if you earn zilch now, you won't get it. Also, there are very long waits for this housing, particularly in NYC.

The system is set up to help those earning next to nothing or not doing much or anything. What qualifies are low and middle income in NYC is appalling--I'm not sure what it is in LI.

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I am so glad you said something like this. Whether Arosa is lying or not, the fact remains that there were some very nasty posts, coming from people who probably have never tasted real hardship in their lives. It's easy for people who have absolutely NO idea of what goes on with low income and public assistance in the first place to pass such harsh judgements....but rest assured that very few of your tax dollars goes to any of it.

It's just sad to see such venomous comments- yes finding a home should be anyone's first priority, but there are better ways of saying it. I don't come from much money at all, and everything I have I worked my BUTT off for, but this city (and it's burbs) are not kind to anyone and it is getting increasingly harder to make ends meet. This kind of post makes me count my blessings twice- once for all of the things that I have, and the second- that I am able to realize that I am blessed to have them.

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It is important to me whether she is lying or not. She told lies that made me concerned for her. I was willing to help this woman out based on what she told me. Now that I know they are lies, I feel betrayed and disappointed. I wonder who else she will try to scam with that story.

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Posted by brooklynbridezilla

It is important to me whether she is lying or not. She told lies that made me concerned for her. I was willing to help this woman out based on what she told me. Now that I know they are lies, I feel betrayed and disappointed. I wonder who else she will try to scam with that story.

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that's EXACTLY why people responded 'not so nicely'...people were feeling sorry for her and were willing to help her out (just like rebecca)
only to find out there's more to her story - AND that she has $10K in the bank and she thinks her FH may even have more saved up!!

IMO - that $$ should ONLY go towards fixing her housing situation and getting back on track!! she SHOULD NOT EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT A WEDDING!!!!

I am confused....in her first post she mentioned this:
'Well, me myself have about $10,000 saved. FH is very secretive about money and I know he has way more than me saved.'

In her second post,,she said that the 10k is from student loans and she has to pay them back???????



This is why I have a hard time feeling bad...

I feel bad for her either way. She is obviously a confused woman. I am not trying to be mean by saying that either. I just think that if you are putting a wedding ahead of securing housing that is misguided. And if you are making up lies to garner sympathy and attention for yourself that is also misguided.


Arosa, I truly hope that whatever your situation is that you will seek help and guidance. Good luck to you.