my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

Original post by kdelace

Sep 06, 2004 11:29 AM

my husband packed a bag and left.... he blames me for this being over. He still thinks its me trying to change him. He said this was the person he was when I married him and that even before i met him, he was worse.
He trys to say that i want a man who is attached at the hip all the time! What is he talking about? i hate him right now.
im not trying to change him, i just want him to realize drinking an dgetting wasted and staying out till 6 am is NOT cool at 31 years old and especially if you're married!

All this and school starts tomorrow!!!!!!

Aga Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

obviously he still has some growing up to do... I am so sorry about your marriage hang in there

Jen_n_Dale Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:25 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am so sorry! I know there are no words.

lvdolphins Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:33 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am so sorry! Stay strong!!

Kel Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:53 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am so sorry you are going through this. People can change, I've seen it happen .. even from people who have lived their life one way for a long time before going through an amazing metamorphosis into a wonderful person. But I also know how painful it can be as you hope for the best for that person .. some people just don't realized the damage they cause .. to themselves and everyone around them .. some eventually come to realize it .. some don't. It is very, very sad.

I wish only the best for you, and hope your husband can eventually see the true beauty in life.

August2004 Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I feel so bad for you and I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish you well.

kelswiss Posted: Sep 06, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

jillnbrad Posted: Sep 06, 2004 03:03 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am sorry you are going through this
Maybe he he will use this time to really think about his problems! May hugs to you!

TracyInQueens Posted: Sep 06, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I'm sorry too, that you have to go through this. And I know going back to work will be really tough, but maybe being so busy with work will help you get through this tough time. I think it says a lot about him that he's pinning all the blame on you. He's not mature enough to look at the consequences of his actions.

DebsNY Posted: Sep 06, 2004 04:15 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I'm so sorry that you're going through this!!!

I hope that he realizes what he's doing soon and begins to make some changes... I'll be thinking about you.

LIJuneBride Posted: Sep 06, 2004 04:19 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I'm sorry you have to go through this. From experience, I know it's not easy. It seems odd to me that he thought he could married and nothing would change. It tells me he was not ready to be married - to you or anyone. This is not your fault. It is not unreasonable to expect your husband to actually spend time with you and stop acting like a single guy. Just take your time working through whatever you need to work out. It's good that school is starting because it will help keep your mind off this situation. Things will get better.

ChristineC68 Posted: Sep 06, 2004 04:29 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am very sorry you are going through this

kdelace Posted: Sep 06, 2004 04:56 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

Thanks for everyones thoughts and prayers. I'm trying to keep myself busy today. I keep expecting the phone to ring and it be him saying how sorry he is and how he wants to get help. No such call. but I've been good- I haven't picked up the phone either. we will eventually have to talk since most of his stuff is here, he just packed a bag. I am hoping he wakes up and realizes before it really is too late.

Anyway, thanks again for everyones fm's and responses. It really has made me feel better today!!

cluelessbride Posted: Sep 06, 2004 07:32 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

You are so strong! Keep your spirits up and remember you are doing the best thing you can possibly do - you are reclaiming your life. Your H has a lot of problems - even if he is not *technically* an alcoholic he should change his behavior if it bothers you. Sounds like he is in total denial and so are his family and friends. He is not living a healthy life and you are wise to get out. Keep your strength. Remember we are here for you

nov04LIbride Posted: Sep 06, 2004 07:37 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage to leave a situation which was not healthy for you! It's such a hard thing to do, and I know many, many women who would not be strong enough to do it, and stay in unhappy and unhealthy situations rather than take action. Know that if you can do this, you can do anything.

Moehick Posted: Sep 06, 2004 07:59 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

Stay Strong and lean on family and friends...you will need them

Imagin916 Posted: Sep 06, 2004 09:53 PM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Maybe he will take a few days to think about the situation and realize that he has a problem and want to get help. If he doesn't, then that is his problem and his loss. Dont back down on this, stand your ground. I know it hurts to lose someone you love, but if you take him back without him at least trying to change, then he will think that he can do this and you will always forgive him or let him get away with this behavior. He needs to know that you are serious about his need to change. This is not your fault, and dont let him convince you that it is. Its better now than after years of dealing with this and especially with kids. Good luck with everything!

Valentinegirl Posted: Sep 07, 2004 06:04 AM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

Kristi, I hope you are feeling better. I am so sorry!

princess99 Posted: Sep 07, 2004 07:25 AM

Re: my short marriage is over..update he left!!!!....

I am so sorry. Please know it is not your fault. Maybe you should go talk to someone like a social worker, or a priest/rabbi. I feel so bad. My sister went thru this also, and she was devastated. She had her marriage annulled, and then waited to heal, and met someone fantastic and they are now married for 5 years. It will get better. Try to hang in there.