My wedding...

Trust me... we have all be there!! Whether it is budget, compromising with family or FH, weather, etc... there are always those times when you think 'this isn't my vision.'

It will be beautiful no matter what!!!

as someone who has been married two years, i have to say: everything will be fine!! as time goes on after you get married, the wedding will matter less and less. there are WAAY more important and better things to come in your life together as a married couple.
i know everyone says it, but its so true- 5, 10 years from now, the decorations or whether you had limos won't matter. what will matter and what you'll remember is just having FUN that day with your friends and family.
we got married and spent about 16K TOTAL.. it was a simple day and we didn't go overboard. a few months later, our friends got married and had the over the top $50K wedding with everything. BUT, you know what? people who were at both weddings are telling us that they had more fun at ours! the 'cheap' wedding.
so,just enjoy your day, and all of your guests will enjoy it too- and THATS what everyone will remember!

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Posted by VadersBride2006

Thanks girls...

it really is not about things going wrong or right... it's more about this not even being close to what I had envisioned my day to be... I have had to give up so much: limos, DJ, decorations, etc. because of our budget. I have had to settle every step of the way for things I did not ever totally want. I am at the point where I don't even want this to happen.

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I know you won't believe it, but I know exactly what you are going through. I feel like so many things were not how I wanted them and I also had to settle for a lot of stuff. I was actually afraid of being EMBARRASSED of my own wedding and it caused so much unnecessary anxiety. I didn't have a DJ, had one limo for me and DH, I had a small reception in a restaurant, my dress was too loose on top, I couldn't get the cake I wanted, and so much more. I woke up in the middle of the night on our wedding night and was completely anxious worrying about if people had a good time, how I didn't have a DJ and all of this other stuff. It was all for naught. So many people have called us to say how intimate and special our wedding was--the food was awesome, they didn't feel forced to dance and they could just chill out and talk and meet all of the interesting people in our lives. It took a while, but I have grown to love our wedding in retrospect...I wish I would have been more confident because I think I would have slept better and had more energy. Please take my advice and don't measure your wedding against all that you see on this board--I think I did and it really made a difference--in a negative way. Your wedding will be gorgeous and unique! I promise!

PS-One of the things most commented about at my wedding was my music playlist which I slaved over for several days. It was personalized and perfect.

i am so sorry you are feeling that way. i know it's not what you want to hear, but i agree with the posters above. in the end, it's all about you and FH getting married - nothing more, nothing less.

i can definitely sympathize about having to settle... i am cutting corners everywhere due to my budget, and my wedding is going to be filled with people i don't know - and wouldn't miss if they weren't there. i have decided to just let it go, marry my best friend, eat and dance and have fun with my friends - and scr*w anyone who has a problem with that.

no receiving lines here!! this is MY day!

If there is anything anyone can help you with...I'm sure a lot of us would be happy too! I understand how you feel about having to compromise thats why my FH and I waited so long to get married, and believe it or not, now that we have the money to have everything...I decided I didn't want it anymore! I didn't want to go crazy spending $190 a plate and $9000 on pics and video and crap! So to FH's surprise, I booked an RH completely oppisosite to what I had thought I always wanted!

A lot of this stuff doesn't matter in the end! I know we all want it, but people are going to remember you and the fun they had, not how you got there or anything else that you think is missing!

Once you put on that dress...that day will be the most special day of your life and nothing will matter anymore!

I hope it all works out and you are feeling a little better about it all! Let me know if I can help you in anyway!

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Posted by Snickers76

I feel like so many things were not how I wanted them and I also had to settle for a lot of stuff. I was actually afraid of being EMBARRASSED of my own wedding

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This is EXACTLY how I feel!

I hope you'll be surprised. My wedding was a budget affair. I was careful to spend as little as I could, almost as a game, and I definitely settled in a bunch of areas.. Some things didn't work out as I wanted, and in retrospect I wish I had spent more money on some things, but, in the end, I loved my wedding so much. Shortly before, I thought it was going to be a disaster too. But it wasn't, of course.

The most important thing is your attitude. If you walk into it with the attitude that nothing is right and you're going to hate the day, well, nothing will be right and you're going to hate the day. If you start the day with the attitude of 'OMG, I'm getting MARRIED today and I'm so, so happy!! And afterward it's going to be an amazing party with everyone there!' you'll enjoy it, no matter what happens. So you don't have the limo you want, you'll still get there, right? And you may not have the DJ you wanted, but there will be music. As long as the people you love are there, and you get married, and everyone goes home fed, it will be great. Truly. But you have to cheer up.

I agree with what a previous poster said regarding the budget and not being in debt because of the wedding.
FH and I are stressed out because of how much our wedding is costing. Honestly, we feel that if we were to go back in time and start over we would have planned something much smaller and less grand. It may not have been our 'dream wedding' but only because of the material things... and that's all they are, just material!! The debt we are foolishly taking on is hanging over our heads and making us ill! In the end it's just about being married & we could have done that without all the stuff!
Chin up! You are going to have a beautiful wedding and you are SMART to not spend a fortune!!

im not having limos, and I dont care!! They arent in our budget, and its not necessary. 10 years from now, you wont be kicking yourself because you didnt have a limo. BUTTTTT 10 years from now if you are still paying off your wedding....they you will be KICKING and CRYING!!! Trust me...I know plenty of couples who are in major debt 5 years later still trying to pay off the extra 25k they wish they never would of spent

YOUR DAY is going to be as wonderful and special as YOU want it to be!!! Everyone is going to see you smiling and they will smile, everyone is going to see you having a good time and they will have a good time!!!

In my opinion weddings have gotten WAY out of hand especially in NEW YORK. There is no need to be like anyone else or to be embarrassed.

You are lucky that you have found the man of your dreams and your marrying him!!! That alone is amazing!!!! Dont worry about anything material!!! It goes to waste anyway!! The only thing you will have after the wedding is beautiful pictures of the both of you being happy, memories of what you made it to be, and most importantly YOUR LOVE for each other, with a long happy marriage!!!

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Posted by VadersBride2006

Thanks girls...

it really is not about things going wrong or right... it's more about this not even being close to what I had envisioned my day to be... I have had to give up so much: limos, DJ, decorations, etc. because of our budget. I have had to settle every step of the way for things I did not ever totally want. I am at the point where I don't even want this to happen.

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Date twin --

You didn't have to settle on your FH, and that's the important part. Enjoy the day anyway -- and know t that you are marrying the man of your dreams. That's all that matters.

What ever you are going through please take a step back and realize that you should NOT let anyone or any THING ruin or steal your joy at this time of your last couple of weeks of finalizing everything. It's going to be a gorgeous day! I hope you are feeling better