Is anyone NOT changing their last name? I really don't want to, because amongst other reasons, my fiance's last name rhymes with my first. I've suggested taking the ending of both of our last names and combining them into one (Steinman) or just taking the end of his last name (Stein) or using MY last name, but he gets all offended when I bring it up. I just don't understand why women still have to take their husband's last name. As far as I'm concerned, the couple should get together and decide whose last name they like better, and go with that. We're way past dowries and all that junk. I think women should take a stand on the name changing issue!!!
jax1023
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Re: Name Change
Me! My FH's last name also rhymes with my first name. So I'll just be keeping my own last name.
I won't be all like insane about it or anything, demanding that when we have children their friends call me Mrs. Maidenname, but for work and all, my name is clearly not changing. Doesn;t mean were not married.
SuzanaS
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Re: Name Change
I think that you should come to a decision together. Society is changing. You should do what makes you happy. I am keeping my last name and taking his. I don't want to hyphanate really, but i refuse to give up my name! Its part of who I am, especially for my career. I was born with, and out with it I will go! lol. Another reason is to hold on to my herirage! I don't want people assuming that I am something that I am not. My fiancee understands all these reasons and supports them.
reenielady
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Re: Name Change
I will have a rhyming last name as well. I am changing it though. I feel we are becoming a family so we should have the same name. Everyone has there own opinion on the subject and you have to do what is right for you and your fh.
How about hyphenating your name as a compromise
afrodyt2000
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Re: Name Change
well first of all, my fh and I discussed the name change issue and I decided to take his name mainly because I want everyone in the family to have the same last name (he, our future children and me). That is important to me since growing up my mom, sister and I had different names. I consider myself a feminist in most ways but the point of the feminist movement was CHOICE not doing away with every tradition that came before the movement. If you don't want to change your name, don't, it's not that complicated.
LaurenF
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Re: Name Change
It's not that my fiance doesn't support me keeping my last name----i just don't understand why it's totally out of hte question for him to consider taking mine, or to combine the two. i just don't understand why in today's day, it's still assumed that the woman should take her husband's last name. granted, i alone am not going to change tradition, but it's just interesting to think that this is not even an issue for guys.
SeptBride70
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i'm taking my fh's name... and i can't wait to. i'm going to miss my old last name but i'm excited to take his name!!
danielle19755
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Im taking my FH last name too
afrodyt2000
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I've seen people do both of those man taking wife's name (mainly because her father had no sons and his parents had 2 others to carry on their name) and people combining last names or choosing to take a new last name. If you look on the website for the NYC marriage bureau, both of those are listed as options when applying for a marriage license.
JohnnysGirl350
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i know people who have done both...
One friend who kept her own name more because she just wanted to
and one who became Holly Curly...
I think you should just do what is best for you!
cherish83
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Re: Name Change
Im taking FH last name... lets just say my last name gets mistakenly pronounced like bologna.. so growing up being called bologna head, i am glad to get rid of it However, becoming a teacher with the last name beginning with Stern... doesnt seem so nice .. I'll be considered a mean teacher for young children.. But once they get to know me, i hope their opinion changes...lol
kara10152006
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Re: Name Change
What if you hyphenate? Perhaps placing another name between the 2 rhyming names would soften the rhyming factor.
EJSD2006
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Re: Name Change
i'm taking FH's name because we're old fashioned. our families believe that our wedding symbolizes me joining FH's family and beginning a family of our own. my parents believe that i belong to him now. i know it sounds really degrading to 'belong' to someone, but it's how we were raised and i can't wait to take FH's last name!
klingklang77
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Re: Name Change
i am teetering on the fence about this one. i am not ready to give up my last name, it is long and polish, but my nickname amongst all my friends stems from my last name (Lemon).
my second reason is i am immigrating to another country and i am leaving for that country (australia) about 3 weeks after the wedding. i have already done a rather large stack (not joking!!!) of paperwork for this and i do not feel like dealing with more. it gets more complicated b/c i have 3 more years left on my passport and i do not feel like paying for a whole new one b/c of a name change. Also my name on the visa is my maiden name, and i am legally my maiden name and i *think* it can cost money to get another one (different passport number, different visa...) with my married name. also FH is leaving about 1 1/2 weeks after the wedding and i am leaving 2 weeks after him. if i change my name i may have to wait longer to join him, and we are apart now, and will be for another month and a half, i dont want to have to spend MORE time without him b/c of this stupid paperwork. can you tell i hate paperwork???
blah blah blah, so many complications, i think i may wait a few years and then go to the embassy and find out about it all.
chander618
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Re: Name Change
I am changing mine because I want to have the same last name as my children, we are a family and should have the same name.
snowprincess805
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Re: Name Change
i kept my last name - i played around with combing our last names but he didn't want to do that
i believe it should not be set in stone what name we use - we should combine or pick the better name
Goldi1021
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Re: Name Change
Posted by alnem
i'm taking FH's name because we're old fashioned. our families believe that our wedding symbolizes me joining FH's family and beginning a family of our own. my parents believe that i belong to him now. i know it sounds really degrading to 'belong' to someone, but it's how we were raised and i can't wait to take FH's last name!
I wouldn't say that it indicates 'belonging' to someone. It is just moving on to another phase of your life. I gladly took my husband's name for the same reasons you did. OUR name indicates, at least to me a unification and lessens confusion. I am sure that if I did not take his name, people would call me Mrs. S anyway.
Posted by cherish83
Im taking FH last name... lets just say my last name gets mistakenly pronounced like bologna.. so growing up being called bologna head, i am glad to get rid of it However, becoming a teacher with the last name beginning with Stern... doesnt seem so nice .. I'll be considered a mean teacher for young children.. But once they get to know me, i hope their opinion changes...lol
As a teacher of children with various speech and language delays, consider yourself blessed to be acquiring a monosyllabic last name. It WILL be easier for them. Though I went from 2 syllables to 2 syllables, the phonetics of my new last name are almost painful for some of my students (though I had them practicing for months) and MOST adults. The kids made the transition well, it is the adults I have worked with for over ten years who are not willing or ready to make the change.
melbalalala
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Re: Name Change
Posted by alnem
i'm taking FH's name because we're old fashioned. our families believe that our wedding symbolizes me joining FH's family and beginning a family of our own. my parents believe that i belong to him now. i know it sounds really degrading to 'belong' to someone, but it's how we were raised and i can't wait to take FH's last name!
Woah... that is one intense post....
DanaRenee
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I can't wait to take my FH's last name!!!
DanaRenee
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Posted by alnem
i'm taking FH's name because we're old fashioned. our families believe that our wedding symbolizes me joining FH's family and beginning a family of our own. my parents believe that i belong to him now. i know it sounds really degrading to 'belong' to someone, but it's how we were raised and i can't wait to take FH's last name!
I TOTALLY agree with this. I am old fashioned too!!!
