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need advice
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They say that sometimes seeing a friend get engaged nudges a man and soon he proposes too. 12 years is a long time to wait and she is probably ecstatic.
I think you are being a little silly -- there's enough love and happiness to go around. People will not stop being happy for you because they are happy for her -- it's not mutually exclusive. AND you had two months to yourself if you want to look at it that way.
Maybe she picked a wedding date a month after you because you got engaged first and she was trying to be thoughtful. Maybe she really wanted to do it a month or two before you. Maybe she thought it would be fun to plan together. I have no idea because I don't know her but I do know that none of us here owns the calendar -- we get one day and anything that's planned before or after our one day just has to be s u c k e d up.
My advice to you: be happy for your friend and let it go before you destroy the friendship.
I think you are being a little silly -- there's enough love and happiness to go around. People will not stop being happy for you because they are happy for her -- it's not mutually exclusive. AND you had two months to yourself if you want to look at it that way.
Maybe she picked a wedding date a month after you because you got engaged first and she was trying to be thoughtful. Maybe she really wanted to do it a month or two before you. Maybe she thought it would be fun to plan together. I have no idea because I don't know her but I do know that none of us here owns the calendar -- we get one day and anything that's planned before or after our one day just has to be s u c k e d up.
My advice to you: be happy for your friend and let it go before you destroy the friendship.
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Re: need advice
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
They say that sometimes seeing a friend get engaged nudges a man and soon he proposes too. 12 years is a long time to wait and she is probably ecstatic.
I think you are being a little silly -- there's enough love and happiness to go around. People will not stop being happy for you because they are happy for her -- it's not mutually exclusive. AND you had two months to yourself if you want to look at it that way.
Maybe she picked a wedding date a month after you because you got engaged first and she was trying to be thoughtful. Maybe she really wanted to do it a month or two before you. Maybe she thought it would be fun to plan together. I have no idea because I don't know her but I do know that none of us here owns the calendar -- we get one day and anything that's planned before or after our one day just has to be s u c k e d up.
My advice to you: be happy for your friend and let it go before you destroy the friendship.
I agree here. I know you feel like shes sort of 'stealing the limelight' from you but I don't think its worth destroying your friendship over. I think it would be a lot of fun to plan together! Try to make the best of this situation.
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my friend got engaged after me and is getting marrried 2 weeks before me....i'm happy for her, i understand the 'stealing your thunder' feelings but i'm sure that just like my friend, nothing was ever intentional! My FH's brother actually got engaged about 4 months before us and we are getting married before him so sometimes it's just the way things work out! don't stress...everything will be wonderful!
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I say you are being a little silly. Yes you have a right to be peeved , this is your friend!!! And she has waited 12 years for this.
No one is stealing your thunder, no is less happy for you b/c she got a ring. You have to remember that those around you are happy for you and that is it~there is no hoopla that comes with getting engaged. Yes people may be reacting that way but in there minds she waited forever for it but you have to remember that not everyone is half as excited about our engagement as we are! Thats something we as B2Bs tend to forget~the wedding/marriage is only the #1 important thing to us.
Her wedding a month after yours will not affect you at all in anyway in the grand scheme of things. Money will be tight but you will make it work out. Be glad she did it after and not before!
It sukks but you cant really expect those around you to stop their planning or wait until the following year to plan their wedding.![]()
No one is stealing your thunder, no is less happy for you b/c she got a ring. You have to remember that those around you are happy for you and that is it~there is no hoopla that comes with getting engaged. Yes people may be reacting that way but in there minds she waited forever for it but you have to remember that not everyone is half as excited about our engagement as we are! Thats something we as B2Bs tend to forget~the wedding/marriage is only the #1 important thing to us.
Her wedding a month after yours will not affect you at all in anyway in the grand scheme of things. Money will be tight but you will make it work out. Be glad she did it after and not before!
It sukks but you cant really expect those around you to stop their planning or wait until the following year to plan their wedding.
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im not saying i would ever end our friendship over this as a matter of fact i didnt say anything to her b/c i would never ruin how happy she was alli was saying is i think it was strange timing..i know she was with him for 12 yrs but i was with my bf for 7 and i just thought if it was the other way around i would have tried to avoid taking any lght away from her or would have at least said to her hey im sorry they r so close but we wanted to do it then and we can plan together..but i guess u guys r right i will just forget all about it..thanks
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Honestly I think it was considerate of her to pick a date after yours--I would have been more upset if she picked a date right before yours--you will still be first ![]()
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i wouldn't even worry about it. I am sure the date she picked had absolutely nothing to do with you. Most of us on here picked a certain time of year or the month because its our personal preference and many always had in mind exactly when they would love to get married. I am sure the date she picked was simply bc she really wanted that month. Just imagine if it was the other way around and she got engaged first, lets say she picked May but you had always dreamed of getting married in june and couldnt imagine it any other way, would you not pick june just bc its a month after hers? and i dont think you would put it off a whole other year to do june if you plan on getting married the following year.
The same way you probably have been waiting for this, she has to and i dont think that now she has to do everything around your wedding and put things off she really wants just bc you got engaged first. Both engagements are very special and you both should just do and pick whatever you both love best, not pick something just to do it differently than eachother. I am sure whenever you thought of planning your wedding it was to do things exactly the way you want and what you love, not to do things just to be different than a friend. Hey there were people who got engaged after us and got married before us, i think about 2 people did and it was fine, it was our decision to wait 2 years and i dont expect anybody to wait longer than they wanted to just bc of us.
Both weddings will be amazing, and your friends are just as happy for you too. They are 2 completely different events and just be glad you have someone to share the whole experience with and do it together
The same way you probably have been waiting for this, she has to and i dont think that now she has to do everything around your wedding and put things off she really wants just bc you got engaged first. Both engagements are very special and you both should just do and pick whatever you both love best, not pick something just to do it differently than eachother. I am sure whenever you thought of planning your wedding it was to do things exactly the way you want and what you love, not to do things just to be different than a friend. Hey there were people who got engaged after us and got married before us, i think about 2 people did and it was fine, it was our decision to wait 2 years and i dont expect anybody to wait longer than they wanted to just bc of us.
Both weddings will be amazing, and your friends are just as happy for you too. They are 2 completely different events and just be glad you have someone to share the whole experience with and do it together
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Trust me it wont make a different. I was engaged 11/22/06 and my friend who was with her bf 10 years got engaged 2 weeks later. She was in my wedding and now i'll be in hers two weeks later but i am also in a mutual friend's wedding 2 weeks after that. It has been such a joy getting to plan our weddings together and even though $$ is tight, you find a way. Trust me when i tell you that you will love having a buddy to plan with!
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I don't understand. Was you're friend supposed to turn down his engagement proposal because you just got engaged? Sometimes other friends getting engaged is like a domino effect. Right after I got engaged one of my bm's boyfriend's proposed to her and I was really happy for her. I understand the spotlight wanting to be on you because this is a really special time of your life but I think you should be happy for your friend instead of thinking of how her engagement is affecting yours
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all that matters is your wedding day is all about you. I wouldn't worry about anything else
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Sorry, girlie, but I'm going to have to agree with the other girls on this. Be happy for your friend! This is the most wonderful time in both of your lives.. you should embrace it and go through this great time TOGETHER and not worried about the petty things. If I were you, I'd definitely be glad that she is having her wedding after yours and not 2 weeks before. Sometimes us brides need to realize that everyone elses life does not revolve around our weddings, as ours does.
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Posted by Snick n Nick
Honestly I think it was considerate of her to pick a date after yours--I would have been more upset if she picked a date right before yours--you will still be first![]()
ITA!
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Re: need advice
i not saying i wanted her to turn it down of course not..all i was saying is i just found it strange how after 12 yrs of him not wanting to get married he popped the question and i was taken aback by how close they booked to ours.im sorry if i seem bitter but i just figured if it was the other way around i would have said to her im sorry so close but we want it here,i would have taken her feelings into consideration.maybe its b/c we r so close that i thought she would consider how we felt..anyways dont matter anyway i am happy for her and will get over it..thanks girls for the help even the few who jumped down my throat lol
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Posted by gina409
thanks girls for the help even the few who jumped down my throat lol
I don't think anyone was jumping down your throat. They were just saying you were being irrational.
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Posted by gina409
i not saying i wanted her to turn it down of course not..all i was saying is i just found it strange how after 12 yrs of him not wanting to get married he popped the question and i was taken aback by how close they booked to ours.im sorry if i seem bitter but i just figured if it was the other way around i would have said to her im sorry so close but we want it here,i would have taken her feelings into consideration.maybe its b/c we r so close that i thought she would consider how we felt..anyways dont matter anyway i am happy for her and will get over it..thanks girls for the help even the few who jumped down my throat lol
Like someone else said--chances are they saw you guys engaged and maybe that pushed him in the direction of proposing.
In the end--she was being very considerate to pick a date AFTER yours......i don't really see why you feel a little 'betrayed' by it. She actually was a considerate friend...she booked after your day!
Think of it this way--she was probably so excited to get engaged -- and she wants her wedding as soon as possible. When you're happy and excited and planning....you don't wnat to wait and stuff. You want it right now--she waited till after your big day -- I say move on and don't think about it anymore and be happy for her. To feel 'betrayed' is a little bit much IMHO
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we became engaged within 2 days of our good friends, and their wedding is 8 days after ours.
and?
it's no big deal.
and?
it's no big deal.
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Re: need advice
Posted by gina409
i not saying i wanted her to turn it down of course not..all i was saying is i just found it strange how after 12 yrs of him not wanting to get married he popped the question and i was taken aback by how close they booked to ours.im sorry if i seem bitter but i just figured if it was the other way around i would have said to her im sorry so close but we want it here,i would have taken her feelings into consideration.maybe its b/c we r so close that i thought she would consider how we felt..anyways dont matter anyway i am happy for her and will get over it..thanks girls for the help even the few who jumped down my throat lol
you're new here, but you asked for advice. Not everyone will understand how you feel, but they will do their best to answer the question you posed. If you do not like the answer, that is ok. Please though, remember that everyone has opinions and sees things very differently. It seems like you are very hurt and angry and maybe want someone to agree with you and tell you it's ok to feel that way.
it's ok, you can feel any way you want sweet heart!
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i know i asked for advice and i truly appreciate it but i feel like u guys think im just a jealous friend who needs the spotlight all the time when i cant stress enough how far that is from the truth.she is my friend and i love her am i am happy 4 her and will do whatever she needs from me to make her day great,i just wanted to no if it was normal to be a little upset but i guess its not....thanks again for the help
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YEAH!!! YOu are getting married First.
WHOO HOOO![]()
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Just be careful......she might be joining LIW too. Don't let her see that posting.
WHOO HOOO
Just be careful......she might be joining LIW too. Don't let her see that posting.
