Need advice

My best friend, and MOH just informed me that she plans to be pregnant at my April, 2014 destination wedding. She would like to start trying Later Summer 2013, which means she will be about 7-9 months pregnant AT my wedding.
My concerns, doctor may not want her to travel, my bachelorette party, actual wedding which will be in Dominican Republic.
She just got married in May 2012, and she did not want another girl to be pregnant.

Am I wrong for not wanting her to pregnant at my wedding?
I plan on having the conversation with her soon but, I don't want it to come across as me being a b*tch/mean.

Need advice

It's not WRONG necessarily, especially given the circumstances, but it's also not like you can tell a person who wants to have a baby that if they want to stay in your wedding, they have to wait.

When you talk to her, let her know your concerns for her health and the health of the baby if she is part of your wedding. In any event, I don't think she should be flying anywhere at that stage in her pregnancy. Try to find a different way to include her, even if she can't actually be there. It's a tough situation, but unfortunately these things happen sometimes. My MOH (and sister-in-law) may very well be pregnant by my wedding as well, but as long as she's willing and able, there's nobody else I'd rather have at my side on that day.

Need advice

It's not wrong to feel that way but we really can't have control over anyone being pregnant lol even if she didn't want pregnant bridesmaids in hers.
I would definitely speak to her once she becomes pregnant and address the possibility that she willnot be at your wedding since most Doctors won't want her traveling that far along.
Just remember too that it may take her much longer to get pregnant than she expects so I would hold off on further conversation till she confirms it. But I would definitely start coming up with other persons that could fill in as your MOH.

Need advice

Yea, i know, that's why it's difficult. :/ thanks!!

Re: Need advice

I would try to nicely bring it up and be like can you wait just a little bit? that you aren't trying to be mean but you want her to be at your wedding. I'm pretty sure you can't fly after a certain time when pregnant? at least I could have sworn my aunt told me that, that when she was pregnant she couldn't fly after 7-8 months? that could have just been in the 90s (when she was pregnant) things change.

Need advice

Honestly, I can't imagine someone telling me not to have a baby/wait because of their wedding & in turn I can't imagine telling someone else that either. I would prepare yourself that she wouldnt be there for the wedding & ask her if she wants to step down as MOH. THere is a good chance that if she is pregnant she will not be able to be there as much as you may like. Also, just because she is trying doesnt mean she will get pregnant 1,2,3 so you may end up having a conversation that may insult her for no reason. I hope that makes sense. Sucks you have to deal with this situation.

Re: Need advice

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Posted by Soon2BeMrsMango

Honestly, I can't imagine someone telling me not to have a baby/wait because of their wedding & in turn I can't imagine telling someone else that either. I would prepare yourself that she wouldnt be there for the wedding & ask her if she wants to step down as MOH. THere is a good chance that if she is pregnant she will not be able to be there as much as you may like. Also, just because she is trying doesnt mean she will get pregnant 1,2,3 so you may end up having a conversation that may insult her for no reason. I hope that makes sense. Sucks you have to deal with this situation.

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Makes sense, Thank You!

Need advice

Take it from prego over here, you cannot fly between 7 and 9 months! Not to mention she probably will not be comfortable flying bc what if she went into labor? She'd be in the DR delivering her baby. Most airlines will not let you on without a doctors note and even then some won't let you on! Not to mention it's highly unlikely a doc will write that note. I'd just chat with her and discuss how SHE'S gonna feel so she doesn't feel like your telling her what to do. I'd say something like 'I'm worried you won't be comfortable flying that far along or you wont be able to fly. You're such a big part of my life and it's a day I can't imagine without you!' Also, just because she begins trying at that date doesn't mean she will get preggers her first cycle. Most couples take about 6 months, it took us 3 months off birth control! She can def still fly at 4 or 5 months preggers. Good luck, let us know how the convo goes!

Need advice

It's ok... I have 2 pregnant bridesmaids now due in July (my wedding is in January).... that's ok with me but they may have dress issues. I have 2 other bridesmaids planning to get pregnant over the summer... so they will also be super preggo for my wedding. I feel your pain. I keep telling myself that I can't expect them to plan their lives around me... especially since they're both in their mid 30s and dont wanna wait much longer for babies... but it's super frustrating! Nobody knows who will go into labor early or be on bedrest, kwim?

Need advice

2012er crashing.... I am the MOH in my best friends wedding. Well I found out that I am pregnant and my due date is 2 days before her wedding. I spoke with her and told her that I totally understood and would step down to avoid unnecessary stress. Her response... 'You are not stepping down. You are my MOH whether you are there or are at the hospital giving birth.' That is a true friend.

Just because she plans on being pregnant does not mean that she will get pregnant right away. I would support her and just tell her that you hope that she is able to be there next to you the day of your wedding. If she is not able to at least you know it is not because she did not want to be but that she was not able to.

Need advice

In related news I asked my sister, who is due in may and my MOH, to try to try to avoid being pregnant with her 2nd baby for my October 2014 wedding haha... I know how you feel and this doesn't even involve travel!

Need advice

This is tough. I'd talk to her just like the other ladies said. It's definitely not easy to ask someone to wait until you get married to get pregnant. I have a feeling my future sister in law might be pregnant around the time of our wedding just out of spite (long story)...I won't mind. Unfortunately this situation is different due to the whole flying thing :( You totally aren't wrong for not wanting her to be pregnant...but at the same time I guess we all have different plans for different times in our lives. Good luck and keep us updated. I love to think everything will work out for the best for any situation in any of our weddings :)

Re: Need advice

that sounds strange that she is 'planning' her pregnancy for like over a year lol but it kind of sounds like she wants to be left out and I'm sure it will end up going that way. Confide in a new BM for the MOH position. sorry to hear this :(

Need advice

Sorry, that's such a tough situation. My older sister and brother in law are starting to try and its definitely tricky. In my case, I get the sense that she would feel more comfortable being a reader at our wedding instead of a bridesmaid. Since yours is a destination wedding that's even trickier! I agree with the other girls and I would just talk to her. HTH and best of luck!