need advice about children

jnc12306 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:16 AM

need advice about children

My FH has a 7 year old daughter and our best friend has a 4 year old daughter we dont have a RB so I was thinking of making the 4yr old the florwer girl and having his daughter bring down the rings, Is this a bad IDEA? I think it would be special. ANother thing is they are the only 2 kids at the whole wedding I dont know if I want them to stay the intire time. They are very needy!!! I was thinking of letting them stay for coocktail our having a babysitter take them back to the hotel for their own private party then bringing them back for dessert. Is this rude? I just want people to be able to enjoy themselves without them klinging to everyone!!

MEL0880 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:19 AM

Re: need advice about children

I think that is a good idea... They will be excited to be part of your special day but then it will also be nice for them to have a little party at the hotel. You could always have 2 flower girls and no RB if you think its a bad idea.. I am not having a RB at all....

ETA: i didn't realize it was FH's daughter... yeah i know if that was me i wouldn't like that my child couldn't be at the reception... And you could just have both of them there and have activities for them to do

GT143EA Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:22 AM

Re: need advice about children

I think this is a good idea, but......what do you think your FH will say about his daughter not being there the whole time. My FH would never agree to that with his son.

angels914 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:23 AM

Re: need advice about children

The thing about his daughter bringing down the rings... I am not too sure about ... that is really for a boy to do .... maybe for his daughter you could have her be the flower girl ( and maybe even have the both of them be the flower girls !) and also do the family unity candle lighting and let her be a part of that too.......... and about the reception... me personally........ I would let his daughter stay the whole time... and with the 4 yr old friends child.... well maybe get a babysitter for her since you think it would be too much for her to be there the whole time... Since FH family will be there ... they could take care of his daughter during the reception...... This is just my opinion !!!!!!!!!! PS>..... Remember she is a part of your life now too !!!!!!!!

jnc12306 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:29 AM

Re: need advice about children

She is like my daughter already I dont mind but she is not one to occupy herself at all. If I knew she would be on the dance floor and entertaining herself I would be fine with it but knowing the situation FH will be doing whatever and I will be watching her. I have been a part of her life since 3 and she clings to me, my parents and everyone she is a very caring little girl. I love her to death but then I worry who will not be drinking and who will be because i dont want to ask someone not to drink so they can watch her you know

jnc12306 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:31 AM

Re: need advice about children

He said he wasnt sure what he wanted to do yet. he understands what im saying and is hoping someone fro mhis family will step up and on the ring subject he said thats a boys job. I was for the dresses for the two of the girls using the alofred angelo with the colored train. Then putting the 4yr old in all white and the 7yr old in white with the train to match the Bridal party.

angels914 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:33 AM

Re: need advice about children

I totally understand that !!!!!!!!!!! But I think since it is your wedding , I can't see that someone will not take care of her for you guys ! What is FH saying about this ???

jnc12306 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:36 AM

Re: need advice about children

That we have planty of time to figure it out

angels914 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:37 AM

Re: need advice about children

Yes you do !!!!!!!!!!!! So go worry about what else needs to get done for the wedding !!!!!!!!

Karsav7096 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:50 AM

Re: need advice about children

You do have alot of time to figure it out. IMO I agree the rb is for boys. I would make her a fg and let her have a special dress and basket. As for the reception that is up to both of you as to staying or not. My brother has 5 kids the youngest 3 are 2 eight year olds and a 4 1/2 year old. They are bringing a babysitter and playing it by ear on that night. If the kids are tired and cranky they will go home but if they are having fun they will stay!!

Future Mrs Roo Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:51 AM

Re: need advice about children

FH and I have a child each. They will be the only children at the reception. I wouldnt not want them to be there.

FinallyMrsB18 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:52 AM

Re: need advice about children

I think two FG's is fine. I have no FG and two RB's. They are both just carrying a pillow. It is different though and a girl can carrying the rings. I didn't want to make one of the boys carry flowers lol. As for the reception I think it is ok to have them leave if you want. But I wouldn't have them come back. If they leave they should leave for good. I don't think it would work well for them otherwise.

MaggieLuvsJoe Posted: Nov 25, 2008 11:55 AM

Re: need advice about children

I think its cute to have her bring the rings down the aisle to you. As far as her being at the reception, I wouldnt worry too much about 2 kids being there. You are both going to be so busy and there will be other family members that can take care of them.

megsher Posted: Nov 25, 2008 12:47 PM

Re: need advice about children

I don't think the ring bearer needs to be based on sex. Who cares? It's a position of honor.

FutureMrsWildes Posted: Nov 25, 2008 12:48 PM

Re: need advice about children

I would double check with FH what his thoughts are about not having his daughter at the reception. FH has a son who is 9 and he'll be involved in everyway. He's the junior best man, we'll be doing a unity candle with him, and he'll definitely be at the reception. I couldn't imagine our day without him being there the whole time.

Edit: You did get his thoughts. OOps. I would then wait til it gets closer. I'm sure being that you said so many people care for her that they would keep an eye on her for you guys.

gina409 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 01:52 PM

Re: need advice about children

i think ita great idea for her to bring the rings..nothing is set in stone..as for his daughter not staying the night..if that is what u both want fine..but if its for other people and if they would want her there then dont go by that i know people do not like kids at wedding but the truth is people have kids..i have 7 neicesand nephews between my siblings and i could not imagine a day in my life with out them there let alone my wedding and if people have a prob with kids at my wedding then they can suck an egg..they r my family and i cannot wait to dance with them at the wedding and i sure fh cant wait o dance with hs daughter..jmho

Dani777 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 02:42 PM

Re: need advice about children

I have 2 FGs and 1 RB... so I think it's ok to make both of them FGs. I would personally have the BM hold onto the rings.. JMO
As for the kids not being at the wedding...this is a touchy subject for me... I think that all kids should be involved in the wedding... needy or not. I mean, I was always the kid when my sisters got married and was always sent home. Meanwhile, I wanted to see everything! I wanted to be with the adults... It was hard for me never to go to ANY RHs but ...I don't know. I'm leaving it up to the paretns to fully decide. I'm not gonna MAKE them bring the kids if it's their only night out...yet I want to make sure that they have the option. There will be so many other people there that the kids just being kids won't bother me... and they make for great photos and memories....

Again, all just my opinon...hope not to offend anyone on here!

Brat23 Posted: Nov 25, 2008 04:57 PM

Re: need advice about children

Hire a babysitter that is what we are doing for our kids. Only the sitter is watching them at the wedding this way they can be there and entertained and safe all at once

As for the other situation I would have 2 flower girls and let her be a part of the unity candle

MLAngelo Posted: Nov 25, 2008 05:00 PM

Re: need advice about children

I am personally a no kids at the wedding girl, but its your FH's daughter so I think that is different. I think it would be wrong to not have her there the whole time. Maybe have a babysitter there and give up your bridal suite, this way they have a place to go color or do things but can still be part of the party. Also I would talk to her. Little girls are strange about wanting to be flower girls, so since its her father's wedding, I would give her the option of being the fg or carrying the rings.

MrsLarrea2B Posted: Nov 25, 2008 05:41 PM

Re: need advice about children

Why dont you just hire a babysitter for the night. BUT have her be at the wedding. This way she will be the one in charge of taking care of the kids. It is not up to you to decide if his daughter gets to be there or not. If she was your daughter you would want her there no matter what a pain she was. I say, just hire a sitter and pretend she's not there.

As far as the RB / flowergirl deal, I think it would be better to have his daughter be the flowergirl. If you still want your best friends kid in the wedding then make her a FG too. Let the best man hand over the rings if you cant find a boy. This is just my opinion.