Need advice: Bridesmaid Dilemma

My bachelorette party was this past weekend... for the most part, i had a great time, but we had some bm issues...

Theres a girl who I was on the fence about making her a bm... confronted her... she convinced me that she could be there for me... shes hardly around, never can get in touch etc etc

So shes on the trip and meets a guy and totally disappears like for most of the weekend... Another bm had to confront her about her behavior... and she was all coked up the entire weekend and lyed to me about it.... I know only the truth bc an empty bag of it was found in her drawer by another bm...

Everyone couldnt stand her... she partly ruined my weekend (same girl that ruined my shower by doing stupid sh*t)

Honestly, want to kick her out of the wedding completely... but with 12 days to go, can i? I want her out of my life...

wow..first off im sorry this happened to you..this was supposed t be about u an im sorry if she made u hav a bad time

now even though ur wedding is 12 days away,if u think she would come to ur wedding high as a kite i woud bring it up to her

if i was u i would go to her ouse and give it to her..tell hr u almost ruined ur bach party,that u put her in ur bp bcause u thought she would be there for u and she has not been at all..so unless u r ready to step up and be a friend to me then i dont need u in my wedding..this day is the most iportant inmy life and i dont need ur drama,so let me know what u want to do right now


now if u dont want to try to work it out..and i dont blame u if u do..then just go there and ay i need people there for me and u r df not so please understand why i cant have u in my wedding anymore


hoe it works out for u

Wow, I can't believe she would behave like that during your bachelorette weekend....Crazy!!! She doesn't sound like a friend to me. Gina, if you want her out then I say go for it. Maybe you can find a replacement or just be one BM short. If this had happened to me, I don't think I would want someone like that standing by my side at the wedding. So sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Sorry this happened. Im gonna be real honest and a lot of people might disagree with me but you need to do what makes you happy even if its gonna make this girl sad. It might mean that you need to suck it up and pay for some of the things that she paid for alread (ie the dress and maybe her plate) but in the end you will enjoy yourself much more. I had 2 bms that I had to ask because they were in my family. They made the experience miserable. That day you don't want to be around anyone that will bring you down. If you want her out of your life (and i dont blame you) then having her out of your wedding seems like a logical idea.

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Completely completely completely agree 100%. Tell her she can no longer be part of your wedding! I am so sorry hun!

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

My bachelorette party was this past weekend... for the most part, i had a great time, but we had some bm issues...

Theres a girl who I was on the fence about making her a bm... confronted her... she convinced me that she could be there for me... shes hardly around, never can get in touch etc etc

So shes on the trip and meets a guy and totally disappears like for most of the weekend... Another bm had to confront her about her behavior... and she was all coked up the entire weekend and lyed to me about it.... I know only the truth bc an empty bag of it was found in her drawer by another bm...

Everyone couldnt stand her... she partly ruined my weekend (same girl that ruined my shower by doing stupid sh*t)

Honestly, want to kick her out of the wedding completely... but with 12 days to go, can i? I want her out of my life...

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I think you have to do what is totally right to you.....she obviously is only thinking about herself. And a situation like this, is unexcusable. I would let her know how upset you are about it and IMO tell her you do not want her as a BM anymore.

That is completely selfish and disgusting behavior on her part. I would cut her out of the wedding and your life. What kind of a friend would act like that? How can you guarantee she's not going to make a mockery and a scene of your wedding? If you want to try talking with her first you could, but honestly, if I were you, I'd be fed up by this point. This would be my final straw.

GL ... keep us updated ...

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Posted by Jsquared279

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Sorry this happened. Im gonna be real honest and a lot of people might disagree with me but you need to do what makes you happy even if its gonna make this girl sad. It might mean that you need to suck it up and pay for some of the things that she paid for alread (ie the dress and maybe her plate) but in the end you will enjoy yourself much more. I had 2 bms that I had to ask because they were in my family. They made the experience miserable. That day you don't want to be around anyone that will bring you down. If you want her out of your life (and i dont blame you) then having her out of your wedding seems like a logical idea.

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Completely completely completely agree 100%. Tell her she can no longer be part of your wedding! I am so sorry hun!

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ITA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do whats best for you Gina!

Sorry that happened!

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Posted by julesrbf

That is completely selfish and disgusting behavior on her part. I would cut her out of the wedding and your life. What kind of a friend would act like that? How can you guarantee she's not going to make a mockery and a scene of your wedding? If you want to try talking with her first you could, but honestly, if I were you, I'd be fed up by this point. This would be my final straw.

GL ... keep us updated ...

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ITA!!!!!! The last thing you want is this girl ruining your wedding! If you think talking to her will make a difference then I say go for it but if it seems like a lost cause I'd say give her the boot!

My friend threw a BM out of her wedding with 2 weeks to go. It's possible. And to be honest with you, my friend is so happy the other girl isnt in any of her pics. There is a long story behind it, but it was a 13 year friendship between the bride, me, and the other ex friend/bm.

We havent spoken to the girl since that time. Sometimes these things happen and friendships end....but you have to do what you want to do. GL

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

Sorry this happened. Im gonna be real honest and a lot of people might disagree with me but you need to do what makes you happy even if its gonna make this girl sad. It might mean that you need to suck it up and pay for some of the things that she paid for alread (ie the dress and maybe her plate) but in the end you will enjoy yourself much more. I had 2 bms that I had to ask because they were in my family. They made the experience miserable. That day you don't want to be around anyone that will bring you down. If you want her out of your life (and i dont blame you) then having her out of your wedding seems like a logical idea.

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ita

aww soo sorry to hear that! that stinks!

If she's just going to cause you stress the day of (even if it is just a possibility) i say kick her to the curb. But I do agree, to make the 'change' easier I might approach her, say she's out but offer to cover some of the costs. A hundred dollars or so for her dress is definitely worth knowing she won't be able to ruin your day.
And after what she pulled at your B party you can't expect her to behave at your wedding (and I would say that to her).

I would definitely agree with all of the other girls that have written their thoughts on this. If you can't trust her not to be coked up out of her mind on your wedding day, then she absolutely NEEDS TO GO. Maybe this will be enough of a wake-up call for her to go and seek help for herself, to get clean and to turn around back to who she was before doing lines became more important than friends.

Is there anybody else who you could take with you to make this talk seem easier, ie. another BM, MOH? You don't want her to feel like it's everybody against her, but if I were in this situation, that would make it feel easier to me. (I suck at confrontation and avoid it at all costs!)