Need advice! Kinda long!

jonsgirl04 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:05 AM

Need advice! Kinda long!

I have decided to have 2 Ring bearers but no flower girl. Is it ok not to have one?? I just didnt want to choose out of all the girls in the family. ALso, We were originally having NO KIDS, but the more i thought about it I did want a ringbearer. Now I know the rest of my family is going to talk crap. The 2 ring bearers are from FH side. He only has a total of 7 family members coming to the wedding. My two aunts had a huge problem with me not inviting the oldest girls of my first cousins. they are both 15. My age limit is 17 and up. But i couldnt just invite those to 15 years olds and not all the others in the family, so I said no. And i know they are still probably annoyed. Now Iam scared when they find out about the ring bearers they are going to be mad? Should I say something to my Aunts that we are having the 2 ring bearers?? Or is it none of their business? Sooo confused! I know I worry too much! LOL

FinallyEngaged Posted: May 14, 2008 10:08 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

i do not think you need to say anything! Let them just find out the day of the wedding!

snwb08 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:09 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

you didn't invite your first cousins under 17? sorry, I am confused. but if that's the case than yeah they might be a little upset about the ringbearer thing.

it's fine not to have a flower girl.

mariaobride Posted: May 14, 2008 10:12 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

i am having two ring bearers and no flowergirl there really isn't a set rule on that- in my opinion I wouldnt say anything you dont need to advertise or explain anything to anyone- it might just cause some things to stir for no reason- let them figure it out the day of or if they are concerned and happen to ask you then that will be your opportunity to say something

cbcf Posted: May 14, 2008 10:12 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

no you shouldn't have to tell them. it's none of their business....are they paying for teh wedding? I am guessing NO haha so they can't really have a say in what you do on your special day.

Your FH only has 7 family members- then I would invite all of them. It is not fair to limit who he invites because he has little ones- and your aunt should be mature enough to understand that.

Plus....they are in the wedding party. I automatically think they dont apply to the age limit because they are in the pics, ceremony etc.

I had this problem as well. FH doesnt have a big family- I do and alot of little cousins. I didnt invite anyone under 17yrs either. And I hear sh*t but it's not their wedding so who cares.

Augustbride08 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:12 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

It's fine not having a flower girl. If you allow 2 young boys but don't invite your 15 year old cousins I do think they will be upset.

futuremrsfab Posted: May 14, 2008 10:15 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

Sorry its none of their business- its your day & if you want 2 ringbearers, you should definately do it

jonsgirl04 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:16 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

Yeah me too I have a huge family!! And alot of little cousins. Totaling 40 kids under the age of 16. If I invite the two fifteen yera olds from my fathers side then I have to invite the 15 years olds from my step familys side and my mothers side, thats why I told them No. Ps. they are the only 2 aunts who complained. My other aunts could care less! LOL

RisiLeigh Posted: May 14, 2008 10:16 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

Yes, you do worry too much, Steph, but I do too, so I know where you're at

I really think it's absolutely fine that you don't have a FG but you have 2 RB's. And I also think it's fine that you didn't invite anyone under 17. Your aunts will have to understand! You don't need to announce it to them - let them deal when they get there.

lillprincess54 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:17 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

i dont think you should say anything its your days and i think you and fh should decide what you want, despite what other in the family think. If you aunts are annoyed they will have to get over it, they need to remember your the one getting married not them

cbcf Posted: May 14, 2008 10:19 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

And dont feel so bad listen to what I am doing:

not having RB or FG but my FH is in the Marine Corps so of course we are inviting Marines to our wedding. Well one of his higher ups when he was stationed in San Diego is pretty much my Fh's hero as well as mine. This man saved so many lives over in Iraq, has a purple heart and has just helped FH so much these last 4 yrs...even after this guy was stationed in Ohio he still asks us to come stay with him and visit etc.

Well he is invited to our wedding. They have 2 kids one about 6 months and the other 3 yrs old. He said he most likely wont be able to come to the wedding if he cant bring his kids---since he doesnt have family in Ohio and neither in NY. Well we want him to share our day with us so badly that I said I would either hire someone to babysit them in the hotel or even in the RH in the bridal suite. Or if they really didnt want that they could come to the wedding.

FH and I agreed we dont care about our age limit when it comes to this man and his family because he is putting his life in danger and sacrificing himself pretty much with a family in mind to protect out country and I WANT him at our wedding no matter what...yeah my grandma had a say in this and she didnt like it but WHATEVER not their wedding.

jonsgirl04 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:19 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

Thanks girls!! YOu have eased my mind!! LOL!!

Cutechef729 Posted: May 14, 2008 10:19 AM

Re: Need advice! Kinda long!

I don't have a flower girl. I don't really have any girls in the family that aren't too old and I didn't just want to pick anyone you know. I decided not to have one. We are having a ringbearer but he is FH's godson. I don't think you need to have a flower girl. Like you said so many people are going to talk, but how could you choose. Either way, someone is going to be disappointed but it's your wedding so you can decide. Good luck!