Need advice on hurt feelings Update

omg!!! i am so sorry that you have to deal with this ****.

Well I definetly have no intensions on sending a gift. I just wanted to clear something up though. The people getting married is my FHs' cousin and his girlfriend. The other problem with the family pictures was because my FHs' new sister in law deceided I wasn't family not my mother in law. she left the church and came back to the house to help get the kids ready for the reception(there's 4 of them the youngest was only 4months at the time). My mother in law was insulted because her family(me and the kids)were not there to take the pictures because we were told they would be done at the hall not the church, so we were leaving to change into our outfits for the reception.
See this is why these people confuse me one minute they are on my side and the next they are stabbing me in the back! I appreciate all the advice, really! I feel so alone in this mess because I live with them so I have no one to vent to about them.

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Posted by SeptemberBride03

That is poor judgement on the couple getting married in January's part. They should have included serious significant others (engaged, living together, together for a long time, etc) should be invited. I think that is horrible! I'm sorry that you were hurt in this. Maybe your FH can call his cousin and ask them to invite you considering the circumstances.

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His cousin and his girlfriend have been invited to every formal party we have thrown for our kids so i feel uncomfortable having someone ask them if I can come. I would just rather forget going and i know my FH wont go now but I would've never in a million years thought they were like this

Just wanted to say thank you guys again. I have received some really supportive replys and it's helped. Im feeling alittle better. It's great to have somewhere to vent. Hopefully once we can get in the real swing of things with the wedding I'll be able to tune these crazys out!

That is TERRIBLE!! I could ALMOST understand if you guys were just dating for a few mon., but you are engaged have children and live together. As far as I'm concerned, you guys are married. Your FH should NOT go to the wedding. I would personally be upset if my FH went.

Sorry you are going through this.

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Posted by WinterBride2005

That is TERRIBLE!! I could ALMOST understand if you guys were just dating for a few mon., but you are engaged have children and live together. As far as I'm concerned, you guys are married. Your FH should NOT go to the wedding. I would personally be upset if my FH went.

Sorry you are going through this.

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Thank you. He's not home so he doesn't know about it yet but Im sure he'll be annoyed and wont go.

I feel terrible for you. If I was in your position this is how I would handle it... Your fh doesn't go, I wouldn't send a gift, and for the people who don't like you I wouldn't invite them to the wedding. I couldn't care less how much of a problem it would cause. I would keep them people out of my life ,and your children's life. You can't keep your fh away from his family. I guess I'm a spiteful person. Good luck, and keep us updated.

Well if your spiteful then that makes two of us because I feel the same way. I've had it with these people. I have already said that I know his brother wont be invited and when my FH asked what I meant I told him well Im the one who has to write out the invites and I have no intention on writing one out for them so unless your going to do it I know they wont be there. My FH works very hard and very long hours. There is a huge age difference between the two of them and his brother at 40something is very jealous and want to talk about spiteful. Goes out of his way to create havic for my FH with their mother. Right now though like I said I have to live with these people because since I've been home with the little guys there's only one income and that's not enough to live on long island. Right back at you!

There are one or two brides on here doing the same thing. Theyu couldn't afford everybody so they said if the cuple weren't married, then the gf or bf was not invited.

To me, it's the same as people not allowing children. Personally I think it's nuts, but remember, its their wedding. They can do whatever they want. That's what everyone here says at least.

Your FH's family needs a lesson in manners and common courtesy ! You are his FI, the mother of his children, and you live together - for all practical purposes, you are officially a couple........
I wish I knew SOMETHING to say that would make you feel better about what they have done to you. - But there is NO excuse for that kind of childish and ridulous behavior ! I really hope your FH does not plan on attending w/o you !!! If my family snubbed my FI like that i'd decline the invitation, that is just a slap in the face and there is no justification for their actions

Whoa...get the gun..I would be tempted to commit a crime!

These people have serious issues..it must be like living in the twilight zone with their changing personalities. I'm sorry you have to live this way. Hopefully, it won't be long till you get your house. I don't know if your kids are invited, but if so, I wouldn't let them go.

My jaw hit the floor when I read this post. That is absolutely disgusting. I would be ashamed if I were your FMIL and your FH's cousin. Has you FH said anything about this to them? If I were in his shoes I would say that if you are not invited then I am not coming.

Wow, that's awful, I'm so sorry

Again I want to say thank you to all of you! When this was first told to me this morning my jaw hit the floor like yours. Now I figure ya know what you just saved me money for a gift that I can put towards my own wedding. The kids were not invited from the beginning which is understandable because it can get crazy with kids running around so that didn't bother me but I never imagined I wouldn't be invited. I spoke to my FH on the phone and he said there's no way he's going and he feels that as far as he's concerned they're not family to him and sees no reason to have to invite them to our wedding if this is their thought process because we are just as financially strapped as they are(obviously if we're living in this nut house). As far as my MIL I really don't think she cares, but who knows what tommorow will bring and whether or not she can use this to make someone miserable.

W T F?!? That's horrible.

I'm sorry

Just to show you again what Im dealing with...
Today my FMIL comes home from work and tells me that she spoke to her nephew and told him he had some nerve only inviting single(no boyfriends & girlfriends) and married people. Well he informed her supposedly that he didn't know where she got her information from but he would never do that! Especially to me and Paul(we're not the same thing)and he never said the other cousins girlfriend wasn't invited either! He claims what he said was people who aren't with a steady person or in a longtime relationship were not being invited with a guest because they needed to cut back!
I don't know what to believe with these people anymore but here's another story for ya...
Now with Thanksgiving coming and the fact that I don't get along with FBIL and his new wife who is part of the family(love's to throw that in my face)I overheard my FBIL and FMIL talking about how excited FSIL is that she is hosting Thanksgiving this year. That's great but when was someone going to tell us that we were on our own for the holiday! Talked to FH about it and he said his mother wont say anything she'll just make up an excuse as to why they wont be home that day and sneak off the the brothers house!! Can you imagine? It never stops in this nut house! It's not even that I mind her going there and not being invited because I wouldn't go anyhow, but he's her son why sneak around! FSIL can't cook anyway Atleast I know the food here will be edible and the company will be worth spending time with! Sorry I just had to let you know since you all were so very kind and supportive yesterday while I was pulling my hair out!!!!