Need Advice Please-long sorry

My MOH has been asking me about which Saturdays I am available and has just about come out and told me about my shower. I don't think she means to I just don't think she is using her head or doesn't think it is supposed to be a surprise. Once I mentioned something to my mom that my MOH had asked me about which date I am available and when my FH's sister in law was supposed to have a baby etc and my mom got really upset because I think she wants me to have a surprise. There are really several other ways to find out if I am busy on one of the two saturdays that she asked me about. She could ask my FH since I spend every weekend with him or can ask my mom or just be a little more creative about how she is going about this. I guess I know how I would be and it would not be asking the bride which sat she is available for her shower. I told my FH last night that she again asked me about one of two sats and he said why is she asking you that? MY moh was also about to tell me a story about planning the shower and I said I don't think I should be hearing this and she said OK I will wait until after it. Now I don't know what to do because I really don't want to know which day it is (but I already know whichever date I tell her is ok will be it) and I want to be able to really act surprised so I don't further upset my mom. I really like my MOH so I don't want to create waves but what should I do??? Thanks

Re: Need Advice Please-long sorry

i can't stand when people can't keep surprises! Maybe she's just trying to throw you off? the best thing you can do is to try not and focus on it, you will enjoy it whenever it is! g ood luck!

Re: Need Advice Please-long sorry

I am sorry that your MOH is not being more discrete. That is unfortunate. However, there isn't much you can do now that it's sort of 'out of the bag.' But, if she starts to bring it up again, just politely cut her short and say that you really do not want to know anymore details about your shower b/c you want to be surprised by somethings that day.

As far as your Mom is concerned, I would NOT tell your Mom this is happening at all. I am sure your Mom is going through great pains to make a very special day for you including trying to surprise you. Spare her the disappointment that you feel here. Just my opinion.

I had a similar experience with my shower. I was living in California and my shower was planned for Long Island. I had made my travel arrangements in January for every month leading up to my wedding in June, so that my Mom could pick a date and surprise me. My MOH called me a couple of weeks prior, and asked me what my preference was for where guests should send their gifts - NY or CA?? I was shocked!

She could have discussed this with my Mom, and my Mom would have told her that the shipping address attached to my registries was my Mom's address. So, that clued me into the fact that my shower was coming fast. It did spoil the initial surprise, but there were also other things that surprised me that day, so I still had a wonderful time.

Re: Need Advice Please-long sorry

Warning, my girls told me when my shower was and well it wasen't when my shower was! lol. It was the weekend after and they did that because my shower gift from df was plane tickets to colorado to see him and they wanted to make sure I didn't plan anything that weekend.
Plus, they wanted to throw me off, and they did.

Re: Need Advice Please-long sorry

I gave my mom a list of 'bad' weekends over the winter. Then they worked with my FH to get a good date. Just tell your MOH that you do not want to be involved at all with their planning.

Re: Need Advice Please-long sorry

Is it possible that she just doesn't know any better? I come from a different culture (where we don't have bridal showers) and I didn't know that they are usually surprises. When my friends first started getting married, I received 2 invitations to 2 different friends' showers. One invite said 'surprise' so I kept my mouth shut. But the other invite didn't say 'surprise' and I didn't know any better so I let the cat out of the bag... Her shower was about 3 years ago and I think her mom is still a little mad at me! I still feel really bad about the whole thing...