Need advice ... vent!

Ok ladies.....to make a long story short, my fiance goes to Vegas every year w/ his friend for a few days. So, he just called me from the agent as they were pricing the trip. I'm ****ed because he and I haven't done anything, gone anywhere and right now we're trying to save for a house and pay for the wedding. I don't think a trip with the boys is something he should be doing right now. I've made sacrifices to pay for the wedding and feel like he should be making them too. I know the trip is like $1300 but that doesn't include food/gambling for 5 days. I just can't see spending $2000 on a vacation when we really need other things that are just a bit more of a priority.

Normally I don't care what he does but he goes every year and every year for 5 days he calls me whining he misses me and that he isn't having that great of a time so what is the point?

Do I just let him go and tell him to enjoy himself b/c this is the last year he's going?

Girls, I am FUMING

What do I do? Do I have a leg to stand on or am I just being ridiculous.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I'd say if you can afford to let him go financially then do it, but if you are extremely tight with money I'd tell him NO!!

Re: Need advice ... vent!

Pesonally, I let FH do his boys trip this year. It has been a tradition way before me and it will be a tradition years to come and I don't want to get in the way of his time with his friends (some of which he only gets to see during this time of the year) I also don't want to get in between him and his friends and be the reason they don't get to hang...JMO

Re: Need advice ... vent!

He complains about not being able to afford a house so I don't see how a trip to Vegas cures this.....he loses money every year.

Marriage is based on compromise and sacrifice. Maybe its time he made a few. Do you know how badly I want to go shopping but I won't b/c I have the wedding to pay for.

I don't know - I just think it ****s.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I understand the feeling that you are doing all the scrimping but if this is a annual tradition, I dont think you should come in the way of it. Perhaps have a talk with him about financial sacrifice and let him make his own decision about what he wants to give up rather than forcing your decision on him. He is an adult and its his choice to go, not yours.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

Oooh, tough one. How about a compromise? Maybe instead of him going for 5 days, how about two days? That might give him some time with the guys, save some money, and save three phone calls about how he misses you.
You should definitely talk to him if you are worried about finances though. Maybe you could even propose postponing this year's trip and joining back up with the guys next year.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

JMO, I would let him no about the financial situation - but, just because it was around before you doesn't mean that it will be going on after your married. I wouldn't have my husband going off on vacations w/o me. and it's not because I would think he would be doing something. It's because there's only so much vaca time peole get and I think it should be spent together. And once I'm married and have kids - I won't be stuck home with them when he's off partying his butt off when we will have bills to pay, etc.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I understand how you feel, I would be livid If you guys havent done anything just the two of you and he wants to spend all this money to go to vegas with the guys - that isnt right! Maybe you should explain that to him

Re: Need advice ... vent!

It is a marriage that comes first so I would talk to him about how things need to be discussed first before plans are made. It is sort of your money as well now and boys night in Vegas is nice, but not priority one.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I agree with Stef. Talk to him but let him be the one who decides! Talk it out, calmly explain your reasons and let him have his say too! I know you probably want to be like no F-ing way! ( I would ) But if it is his decision to make he can never blame you! IMHO

Re: Need advice ... vent!

what is he doing for his bachelor party?? why not try to steer him into going to vegas for his bachelor party and only for 3 days. this way you kind of kill 2 birds with one stone.

since your saving for a house and a wedding unless you make allot of $$$ you shouldnt be doing or going anywhere prior to having a house or paying for the wedding. just my 2cents

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I don't mind him going away, that is fine. I just think they should maybe go to Foxwoods or Atlantic City where it would be cheaper.

The only reason he goes is because his friend is in a lousy marriage and he uses it as an excuse to get away from his wife and kids and my fiance doesn't see that.

Financially, we just can't swing it. Like I said, I don't mind him going away. I just think they should do something that doesn't require $2000.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I think that if you can't do it financially then he should go to A/C like you said. Its very difficult to pay for a wedding as it is. Even when you pay off the vendors,you still have to come up with a lot of money for all the tips.Good luck!

Re: Need advice ... vent!

Maybe he can compromise and only go for 3 days rather than 5

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I would really sit doen and have a serious talk about this... Communication is the key to a happy life together....You have to say to him that you want to start your new life together not with this very expensive trip hindering your wedding day....Ask him about AC or Foxwoods..where they can save money and still go away for the weekend....Just talk to him...
JMO...

Re: Need advice ... vent!

How about going to AC for 5 days? Save on the airfair?

Re: Need advice ... vent!

I'm going to talk to him about it - I really feel he should go someplace that doesn't require airfare.

I don't want to look like the b!@#$y fiance but unfortunately I know him all too well and we'll fight about it even though I'm still telling him to go away.

I don't get guys - even though he is miserable every year, especially these past 2 years he still continues to go. Can anyone explain this????

Men

Re: Need advice ... vent!

They are a strange breed!

Re: Need advice ... vent!

he is probably miserable b/c he isnt with you, but still wants to hang out with the guys who he probably never gets to see. also he probably doesnt want to be the guy that is refered to as being 'whipped' and isnt fun anymore b/c he is getting married.

Re: Need advice ... vent!

The friend he goes with is married w/ two kids but has a lousy marriage so he uses the trip to get away from her and drags my FH with him. I guess he needs testosterone or something once a year

His friend always tells me that I better not interfere with the annual trip....he is such a loser. I don't know why my fiance is friends with him.