Need advise (Very Important)

Well today was alot of drama about my BM gowns. A friend of mine just got engaged last month and now is getting married a month before me of this year. And choose a very similar color gown for her BM's. All day I was very upset and even started to cry. I choose my gown eight months ago. So I went down to the salon and looked at the color swatches to see if they were similar in person. And I was right, they were. My sister is in her party and brought it to her attention. The whole time I was going to have her choose another color because I have been engaged since last year and choose my color first. I told her the color of my gown choice before. I am sure she forgot and wasn't intentional, she mention if I wanted her to choose another color and I wanted to make sure if it wasn't similar before deciding. I was going to let her change the color, but at the same time I felt I would be the villian. She is a sweet person, I just didn't want to share the same color. We have the same friends going to both of our weddings. My sister even said she would hate to pay for the same color dress (same designer/different style)

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

So as the bigger person, I changed my color to please her. She felt bad, so I called up one salon and asked if this designer can switch the colors. They said yes, I am still going to call the designer to make sure. If its a go, I will call my friend and let her know.

Do you think it is fair for me to change my color?

Please ladies I need feedback.

I think you went above/beyond by changing your color. From the sounds of your post, it doesn't sound like this person did this deliberate & she didn't do it to spite you, I think its just a bad coincidence. It's unfortunate though that her wedding is before yours using the same color (if you don't change) & also for your sis, buying the same color dress. If you haven't done too much w/ your color and it wouldn't break your heart to change the color, I'd probably say go for it.

Yet if you were set on that color and you are going to feel resentful for changing it, then I wouldn't.

1st yay we are date twins!~

2nd I wouldnt change my color @ all, unless you really feel badly about it then do so. But if it was me NAAAA whats done is done!

Guess it dosent reall y matter as long as its not the same exact dress...Good luck hope everything works out for ya!

While I think it's really nice of you to even consider changing your color, I think it is completely unfair. Maybe you should mention that your sister told you about her distress over paying twice for the same color dress. Tell her you considered changing the color to help ease the situation but since the orders are all ready in there's no way you can change them. If she's really as nice as you say I think she will understand and think about how she would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. Good Luck!!!

awww I don't think you should of changed your color, She should of had respect for you and not picked that color in the first place. Sorry I would be a little pissed

Thanks ladies, I felt I was engaged first and booked everything way before she was engaged. That she should change her color not me. After all she hasn't been engaged for a month yet. I know she didn't do it out of spite. I felt it shouldn't have to be me compromising on a color.

I am 50/50 happy with my decision. Now I have to look for a new FG dress

If it is bothering you...then it's good for you to change your color...it seems that it didn't bother her too much.

I was in two weddings in a matter of a couple of months that had the same color, and it did stink to buy two dresses in the same color....

I do think that was REALLY nice of you to go ahead and do that. Are you regretting changing the color?

Yes it does stink I had to change my gown. After all, she only has less then seven months to plan a whole wedding only resentally getting engaged. I kind of feel upset that I change the color and kind of feel ok about it. I will find out tomorrow if my dress color can be changed. I was prepared incase she said no, My sister was very upset for me because she knew I wanted this dress for a long time, She felt very bad I was the one changing the color.

I will keep everyone posted.

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Posted by autumn

Well today was alot of drama about my BM gowns. A friend of mine just got engaged last month and now is getting married a month before me of this year. And choose a very similar color gown for her BM's. All day I was very upset and even started to cry. I choose my gown eight months ago. So I went down to the salon and looked at the color swatches to see if they were similar in person. And I was right, they were. My sister is in her party and brought it to her attention. The whole time I was going to have her choose another color because I have been engaged since last year and choose my color first. I told her the color of my gown choice before. I am sure she forgot and wasn't intentional, she mention if I wanted her to choose another color and I wanted to make sure if it wasn't similar before deciding. I was going to let her change the color, but at the same time I felt I would be the villian. She is a sweet person, I just didn't want to share the same color. We have the same friends going to both of our weddings. My sister even said she would hate to pay for the same color dress (same designer/different style)

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

So as the bigger person, I changed my color to please her. She felt bad, so I called up one salon and asked if this designer can switch the colors. They said yes, I am still going to call the designer to make sure. If its a go, I will call my friend and let her know.

Do you think it is fair for me to change my color?

Please ladies I need feedback.

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I think since you had your color first it would be the honorable thing to do was for HER to change her color. Even if it was an oversight on her part because you had already planned yours out and she just started she should change the color and NO you are not wrong to feel the way that you do!

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Posted by msnora

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Posted by autumn

Well today was alot of drama about my BM gowns. A friend of mine just got engaged last month and now is getting married a month before me of this year. And choose a very similar color gown for her BM's. All day I was very upset and even started to cry. I choose my gown eight months ago. So I went down to the salon and looked at the color swatches to see if they were similar in person. And I was right, they were. My sister is in her party and brought it to her attention. The whole time I was going to have her choose another color because I have been engaged since last year and choose my color first. I told her the color of my gown choice before. I am sure she forgot and wasn't intentional, she mention if I wanted her to choose another color and I wanted to make sure if it wasn't similar before deciding. I was going to let her change the color, but at the same time I felt I would be the villian. She is a sweet person, I just didn't want to share the same color. We have the same friends going to both of our weddings. My sister even said she would hate to pay for the same color dress (same designer/different style)

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

So as the bigger person, I changed my color to please her. She felt bad, so I called up one salon and asked if this designer can switch the colors. They said yes, I am still going to call the designer to make sure. If its a go, I will call my friend and let her know.

Do you think it is fair for me to change my color?

Please ladies I need feedback.

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I think since you had your color first it would be the honorable thing to do was for HER to change her color. Even if it was an oversight on her part because you had already planned yours out and she just started she should change the color and NO you are not wrong to feel the way that you do!

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I didn't want to sound and act like a bridezilla during this. She was very concern that I was going to regret my choice by changing my colors. Part of me does and the other part is ok.

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Posted by autumn

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Posted by msnora

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Posted by autumn

Well today was alot of drama about my BM gowns. A friend of mine just got engaged last month and now is getting married a month before me of this year. And choose a very similar color gown for her BM's. All day I was very upset and even started to cry. I choose my gown eight months ago. So I went down to the salon and looked at the color swatches to see if they were similar in person. And I was right, they were. My sister is in her party and brought it to her attention. The whole time I was going to have her choose another color because I have been engaged since last year and choose my color first. I told her the color of my gown choice before. I am sure she forgot and wasn't intentional, she mention if I wanted her to choose another color and I wanted to make sure if it wasn't similar before deciding. I was going to let her change the color, but at the same time I felt I would be the villian. She is a sweet person, I just didn't want to share the same color. We have the same friends going to both of our weddings. My sister even said she would hate to pay for the same color dress (same designer/different style)

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

So as the bigger person, I changed my color to please her. She felt bad, so I called up one salon and asked if this designer can switch the colors. They said yes, I am still going to call the designer to make sure. If its a go, I will call my friend and let her know.

Do you think it is fair for me to change my color?

Please ladies I need feedback.

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I think since you had your color first it would be the honorable thing to do was for HER to change her color. Even if it was an oversight on her part because you had already planned yours out and she just started she should change the color and NO you are not wrong to feel the way that you do!

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I didn't want to sound and act like a bridezilla during this. She was very concern that I was going to regret my choice by changing my colors. Part of me does and the other part is ok.

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You are not being a bridezilla by asking someone who hasn't even been engaged for a month not to use the same color dress that you are for your BMs. When my sister chose her BM dress color, I almost lost it because I knew when the time came that would be the color I wanted. I managed to find a color in the same family that is distinctly different from her color, but also something that makes me VERY happy. However, it left me with only three designers to chose from (Jordan, Dessy, and Impression).

Since you were engaged first, planned first, chose dresses first, she should be the one to change - especially since your sister pointed it out to her before her order was placed!!!

True, I didn't want to add stress on her. But at the same time I was adding stress to myself and wasn't thinking about me and my wedding plans. The colors are in the same family but very close in color. If the designer say I can't switch color order, then she has to change her color. If she says no, then let her feel guilty when my wedding rolls around.

It might not be so bad if she chooses a very different kind of dress for the wedding. Your wedding is the day after mind which is in the autumn and you can go with so many mixed colors. With a different style dress and different b-oks, I don't think it should be a problem. If she does change the color of her dress to be sesative to your needs then you have a good friend. I don't think your the villan. You just don't your weddings to look alike which is understandable. What I suggest is let her check out the type of dress she wants and flowers before she makes any sudden changes.
When you think about it most brides wear some form of white. I've met brides who wore the same dress but their weddings were all unquic because of hair and make up, the flowers that they had, different decorations, different reception halls, churches and other things we all do to individualize our weddings.

Hey ladies, spoke with friend about having her change her color and the response I got was a no. I wasn't surprised, she looked at it that I was over reacting. Whatever, i got engaged last year and she hasn't been for a month. I told her and my sister told her the gown color. she could of called out of respect because she is now getting married the month before me. Whatever. At least I spoke my mind instead of keeping my feelings to myself. I still haven't decided if I want to change my color. My dress is grape and ruby. The whole dress is grape and the back part has alittle bit of ruby. I was thinking of changing the front to ruby and the back to grape. I still need to deside.

Honestly I don't see why it makes a difference whether you have similar colors or not...they are two different weddings....wouldn't matter to me at all...the only thing people seem to remember about weddings is the gown and the food.
Forgive me for not understanding your dilemma...
Meri