Need career advice ASAP!!

Ok, so I was working in long island and was making, say X amount of dollars. My husband signs a contract, moves to North Carolina, and between his family pressuring me, telling me I'm selfish to stay in NY & me feeling guilty and wanting to do the right thing, move to North Carolina with him.

I go on a job interview & the manager loves me...the catch is, they only offer me 1/2 of what I used to make and only 2 weeks vacation instead of 4 weeks which is what I was making in NY.

What would you do?? I am FREAKING out, my hands are shaking as I write this. What they offered me to work as a REGISTERED NURSE with a Bachelor's degree is what I used to make as a Nurse's Aide in 2004.

Here is my advice....

why rush and take the job ASAP? see your options first...you have a degree and are worth alot.
Dont settle for less....try to see if you can get a job making the same or even more than what you arenow.....is there a reason why you feel you HAVE to take a job>? i also heard its cheap over there....

do you really want to move to NC? or were you pressured?

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Posted by thefloreswedding

Here is my advice....

why rush and take the job ASAP? see your options first...you have a degree and are worth alot.
Dont settle for less....try to see if you can get a job making the same or even more than what you arenow.....is there a reason why you feel you HAVE to take a job>? i also heard its cheap over there....

do you really want to move to NC? or were you pressured?

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That's exactly how I feel!! I didn't bust my *ss for 4 years in college and take a board exam so I could make a nurse's aide salary. (Not that I'm trashing nurse's aides)

I feel like i have to take the job b/c I've been sitting around with no job for a month & I'm feeling restless. I LOVED my job in NY, I had a CAREER in NY. And yes, I was COMPLETELY pressured into moving to NC. Ugh, I could just cry. I felt insulted with what they offered me.

The cost of living is much cheaper in NC than here. I am an RN also, you are not going to make what you are used to in NY. You probably could get another nursing job elsewhere quickly in NC, but I really don't think the pay is going to be much more than what you were offered. Sorry!
Have you tried looking in advance for nurses, they usually have local jobs. I think they have a website also.

Try looking up average salary for a RN in North Carolina.

I agree with the other girls the cost of living is cheaper therefore the salary is less. Maybe if you see what the average salary is it will make you feel better.

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Posted by mara1017

You have to remember that the cost of living is ALOT lower in North Carolina and therefore the salary is going to be as well. I think you have to move away from coming the salary to New York and try to find out what the average salary is down there for a nurse.

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ita

First off, if this is bothering you this much you need to make sure your FH knows that and knows it well. No one should have pressured you to move especially when its away from your family, friends, career, etc. Thats everything you have built and that made you happy!!! What was their reason for making this move?

I'm not sure who the bread winner in your family is going to be but if its you than you should be the one deciding how much to make and where to live (from what I've seen nurses tend to be the breadwinners)

Its true that the cost of living is a lot cheaper so you can make less and still have more than you would if you stayed in NY. Are you looking to have a family soon? If so, who will primarily take care of the children? Would they have a better life in NY or NC? If you want to or have children you should consider them when making career decisions now.

Negotiating higher pay is hard but possible but over time I think you will miss your vacation weeks more and that's probably easier to negotiate. Tell them what you had and say I understand the salary difference but the vacation? Make yourself happy. Being a nurse means that you can create a career anywhere in time and don't just take the first offer either. It'll be okay, if FH is rally a keeper you two will figure it out.

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Posted by HurricaneGirl

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Posted by thefloreswedding

Here is my advice....

why rush and take the job ASAP? see your options first...you have a degree and are worth alot.
Dont settle for less....try to see if you can get a job making the same or even more than what you arenow.....is there a reason why you feel you HAVE to take a job>? i also heard its cheap over there....

do you really want to move to NC? or were you pressured?

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That's exactly how I feel!! I didn't bust my *ss for 4 years in college and take a board exam so I could make a nurse's aide salary. (Not that I'm trashing nurse's aides)

I feel like i have to take the job b/c I've been sitting around with no job for a month & I'm feeling restless. I LOVED my job in NY, I had a CAREER in NY. And yes, I was COMPLETELY pressured into moving to NC. Ugh, I could just cry. I felt insulted with what they offered me.

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Its hard to put myself in your shoes, I'm sorry for what you're going through. My career moves around a lot (military officer) and thus I'm asking FH to make a big sacrifice everytime I get a new assignment.

Since you're already in NC, I would probably take the job bc half the salary is better then none. I wouldn't stop looking though... I think keeping current in the workplace is a really important factor, and the other girls are right, the standard of living is less, so the salary will also be less. If the salary is too low for even the area and experience you have, attempt to counter the offer, and if you think it'll hurt you in the long run, continue looking.

I know it'll work out!

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Posted by CaseyCase

First off, if this is bothering you this much you need to make sure your FH knows that and knows it well. No one should have pressured you to move especially when its away from your family, friends, career, etc. Thats everything you have built and that made you happy!!! What was their reason for making this move?

I'm not sure who the bread winner in your family is going to be but if its you than you should be the one deciding how much to make and where to live (from what I've seen nurses tend to be the breadwinners)

Its true that the cost of living is a lot cheaper so you can make less and still have more than you would if you stayed in NY. Are you looking to have a family soon? If so, who will primarily take care of the children? Would they have a better life in NY or NC? If you want to or have children you should consider them when making career decisions now.

Negotiating higher pay is hard but possible but over time I think you will miss your vacation weeks more and that's probably easier to negotiate. Tell them what you had and say I understand the salary difference but the vacation? Make yourself happy. Being a nurse means that you can create a career anywhere in time and don't just take the first offer either. It'll be okay, if FH is rally a keeper you two will figure it out.

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They offered me $10K LESS than the lower end of the bell curve of RN salaries in the area. CRAZY.

Thank you for understanding the fact my friends, family & career are everything I have built on, it is my support sysptem and to come here is to feel like the rug was pulled out from under me.

I'm not the breadwinner, but I'm used to being REALLY independent, I had my own apt, paid all my bills, my car, my student loans, so I'm not used to depending on anybody.

And if we have a family, I think we'd be better off in NY, b/c that's where both our parents live, his parents are dying for grandchildren and we just have more SUPPORT in NY. We may be able to buy a bigger house here, but that just doesn't matter to me. If only I could get DH to see this, but he doesn't, he just thinks he'll make more money here & pay for childcare, etc etc, but it isn't the same. How do I convince him that this isn't working...

I agree with MrsJPH2012
take the job and still keep looking,,,,,its better to have some kind of income instead of nothing.

dont get depressed or frustrated!! things could be worse, you have your husband, and your a good wife to relocate for him. Just make sure you tell him how you feel and everything will slowly fall into place....

dont pressure yourself. do what you feel. And like i said, it could be worse--there are people out there with no jobs and no degrees....so maybe you should take the job and still search around for a better offer?

good luck let us know how it goes!!

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Posted by thefloreswedding

I agree with MrsJPH2012
take the job and still keep looking,,,,,its better to have some kind of income instead of nothing.

dont get depressed or frustrated!! things could be worse, you have your husband, and your a good wife to relocate for him. Just make sure you tell him how you feel and everything will slowly fall into place....

dont pressure yourself. do what you feel. And like i said, it could be worse--there are people out there with no jobs and no degrees....so maybe you should take the job and still search around for a better offer?

good luck let us know how it goes!!

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ITA.

take the job for now and you can always keep looking. but for now you have the income and not sitting home.

hang in there!

I live in NC right now, and I have a friend that almost the SAME exact thing happened to. He got into grad school down here, so his wife 'had' to move also. She is also a nurse and took a job at one of the bigger more well known hospitals around here (duke) and she was absolutely shocked at the pay. But it is like there anywhere down here, it is just the way it is. You will definitely not make as much as you would have in NY, and that is going to be the same for any profession. The cost of living is generally less, but really not THAT much less that it justifies the huge pay cut.

DH also just took a job with a huge pay cut since we moved down here, but he is just happy to have a job in this economy. If you truly hate NC, then that puts you in a really tough place. I guess this isn't so much advice as just letting you know that you aren't alone

What area of NC is it?

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Posted by Chanwich

I live in NC right now, and I have a friend that almost the SAME exact thing happened to. He got into grad school down here, so his wife 'had' to move also. She is also a nurse and took a job at one of the bigger more well known hospitals around here (duke) and she was absolutely shocked at the pay. But it is like there anywhere down here, it is just the way it is. You will definitely not make as much as you would have in NY, and that is going to be the same for any profession. The cost of living is generally less, but really not THAT much less that it justifies the huge pay cut.

DH also just took a job with a huge pay cut since we moved down here, but he is just happy to have a job in this economy. If you truly hate NC, then that puts you in a really tough place. I guess this isn't so much advice as just letting you know that you aren't alone

What area of NC is it?

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Actually, thank you, I appreciate it knowing I'm not alone on this....his family just says that I'm lucky some people don't even have a job , which yes, is true, but I feel like I've given up so much as it is, can't I at least have a career? People keep saying at least I have a job, but if I just feel like I can't reach my potential here and why should I settle for less than what I'm worth when I know there's awesome opportunities for my in NY (My manager loved me and I loved working at my last hospital) oh, and I'm in Mooresville....capital of Nascar.

Anyway, thank you ladies for hearing me out. Giving up my friends, my family and my career leaves me feeling really ALONE and I'm glad to have all of your input.

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Posted by AdriandSteve

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Posted by mara1017

You have to remember that the cost of living is ALOT lower in North Carolina and therefore the salary is going to be as well. I think you have to move away from coming the salary to New York and try to find out what the average salary is down there for a nurse.

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ita

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ditto on what they said!