Is there maybe a friend of your ex's that you are still friends with that you could ask to take him out for the night. Far Far away. Or maybe someone in his family? Just some suggestions!! Sorry you have to deal with this.
prncssrachel
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Good suggestion Boop! See? this is why this is the place to ask these questions!
WithThisRing
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I would definatly look into getting a restraining order. I think with that he is not allowed so many feet near you and if he tries to get to you he will be arrested. I dont know all the details about a restraining order, but its something you would have to talk to the local authorities about especially since he knows about your wedding.
I had a psycho ex, but after a while he finally gave up on me. He hasnt contacted me, my parents or my friends in 4 years.
corinne7477
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the only person that i talk to that knows him is larissa and shes the one who told him. we only dated for 4 months he started becoming mr handsy and always wanted to be alone came to the point where he was always there he would come over my house morning noon and night couldnt get rid of him for a while he pretty much stalked. and then it stopped for about 2 years and now i have to deal with this i thought this was behind me. i dont know of too many friends he has. too bad you cant get backround checks on people before you date them. i dont know if i shouldlet my FH know think he will flip out and try to start something with ex and feul the fire.
corinne7477
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for a restraining order he has to actually do something for it to be in effect he hasnt threatened me. i spoke to my ffil and he said retraining orders are if he is harrassing me or stalking he hasnt done either and i cant make it up beucase i can get in trouble with that.
nycchic_24
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IM so sorry...everyone has their issues..im sorry your ex is like this.
prncssrachel
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Actually, in Suffolk county, to get a restraining order, you must be related to the person. You can file for an order or protection, but even those are really hard to get. Corinne, remember Pat that I dated when I was younger? We had a similar problem with him.
corinne7477
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so even with a restraining order he has to be so many feet what happens if hes outside the church or in the church and its so many feet its a big church knowing him he would do something like that to make my life hell
corinne7477
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so what should i do? one thing i know is Lalissa is off the list im uninviting her to my wedding. im going to personally call her up and tell her she cannot come to the church or the hall and i dont want to be her friend. thats pretty low of someone to do that . i bet shes jeoulous and just wants to start trouble. what kinda friend would do that.
prncssrachel
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Corinne, don't get all bridezilla, it's going to work out, I promise! My cousin is a 4th precinct cop, do you want to contact him tomorrow?
corinne7477
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no i spoke to michaels father hes a retired cop i told him not to tell michael and he told me what is needed for a restarining order or what you call it. im not BRIDEZILLA THATS NOT NICE THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM HERE BRIDEZILLA ARE FOR SPOILED WOMAN WHO HAVE PETTY PROBLEMS. RACHEL I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A FRIEND I DONT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW.
corinne7477
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prncssrachel
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OMG, I'm ending this conversation after this. You're just freaking. Go talk to Michael, you're obviously not in a position to be discussing this and I think you need to take someone's advice. I'm very sorry for what you are going through, especially because I have known you outside of here, but I feel like you are just looking to argue with what everyone has to say. Good luck with what you decide, I'm sure it will work out fine and when you do make a decision as to what needs to be done, I will help you in whatever way I can, but until you calm down, I think you should call it a night.
corinne7477
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RACHEL, no thats not it you are calling me names bride helping brides is to help brides not insult them. im not looking to fight with you i need support right now not some one caling names thats being ugly and of all people i would never expect you to be that way.
Eli, Thanks for your advice. just caught it now.
DO YOU GIRLS THINK I HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT OR SHOULD I NOT LET IT BOTHER ME I KNOW IM NOT GOING TO SLEEP TONIGHT PROBABLY HAVE NIGHTMARE OR SOMETHING.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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I don't know that I'd freak out from today until the day of your wedding, but I'd certainly be concerned. I think it might be a good idea to print on the invites 'Please bring invite for entry'. When is your wedding?
P.S. I think Rachel was only trying to help
corinne7477
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the wedding is new years eve. is costing a fortune an dont want anything to ruin it should i change the church time? he does know where the catering hall is too so do you think that would deter him if i change the time of the church. do you think he would come to the catering hall? i dont know if hes ballsy enough. oh can i say that word.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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I really don't know what to tell you. Maybe you can tell the catering hall in advance and maybe someone at the church? Not sure if there's really anything they can do though. Don't forget too, this guy might just be saying this to freak you out.
corinne7477
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i'd like to think that he is. but i know hes psycho. he used to email me, call my cell all the time, my work its was obsessive.
Wendy
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I have some experience with this sort of a problem. You have a few options. The first is to change the date. That is difficult and I wouldn't do it. Can you change the time at the church or better yet the church you are getting married in? If not then how about getting married at your hall instead of the church? You can have much more contol of who comes to a catering hall. You can make it a part of your day so that your guests never know. Have someone hand out placecards at the door or greeting people at the door so that they have something with a name on it. Make sure they have a pic or description of him so that you can keep him out. Other than that your only option if you are having the church is to do what was suggested and hire guards. Have them dress in suits so no one knows.
Because you were never married and do not have any children together the only way to get an order of protection against him is to have him commit a criminal act. If he is calling and threatening you, you can record the calls (it is legal in NY as long as one person knows it's being recorded and you will know) and then call the police. Threatening calls are harassment and you can have him arrested, then file for an order of protection.
However, here is my point of view. You are wasting way too much time worrying about this. You give your ex the power and that is a mistake. Ignore the whole thing, go on with your plans and do not give in to threats. If you change your life around once for this person you are going to find yourself doing it again and again. Eventually he will run your life and this will damage your marriage. You need to be strong and ignore your ex. I am sure your FI will stand by you in this. Best of luck.
butterfly20
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i would say you probably dont need to worry about it... if you think hes going to come to the church and speak durring the 'does anyone object'... i believe the priest can cut that part out the way he sounds... changing the time or date wouldnt work, all he'd have to do is call up the church to find out when your getting married...
first you should talk to your fiance, if you are truly concerned consider getting a bouncer and have invitation passes to get in....
